Best of Banned by The West

The Best of my Banned by The West newsfeed this week. Current news alerts are in the sidebar, or subscribe to them all with The Worst of Perth rss news feed so you don’t miss any gold.

http://twitter.com/statuses/user_timeline/15953157.rss

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Drink refused trademark. Carlton’s new “Clam Opener” range cannot be advertised in Australia, despite company claims it was a seafood accomp…

Slow news day saved by Saudi tumor. ABC News was breathing a “sigh of relief” as a woman’s 18kg tumor saved them from doing actual reporting…

Michele Philips Puzzling Exit. Ex columnist Michele Philips left The West because she believed “satanic messages” were coded in daily Sudoku…

Sexpo confirms “Martial Arts exhibition” should have read “MARITAL Arts”. Apology to members of the Uni Tae Kwon Do Club for any misundersta…

The latest boat apprehended in Australian waters was actually leaving. Labelling Broome “a boring shithole” they threatened to set fire to…

Mark Harvey accuses Worsfold of “Eating Dog” on a recent trip to Korea. In a statement Worsfold claimed he had “Never been to Fucking Korea”…

John Butler – Sorry I miscounted, we were a quartet. When naming the band man, everyone was milling round and I forgot to count myself…

“Head injured head banger”. A man in a coma who was played his favourite Status Quo song for 12 years, awoke to say he’d moved on musically…

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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25 Responses to Best of Banned by The West

  1. lauredhel says:

    “Drink refused trademark. Carlton’s new “Clam Opener””: No news hits, no hits in ATMOSS … hoax?

    Like

  2. shazza says:

    Bento,
    I warned TLA a short time back that references to Clams will bring scientologists out of the woodwork (see http://www.xenu.net). Judging by the humour deficit of the original poster i suspect my prediction may have just come to pass.

    Like

  3. lauredhel says:

    “not serious?”

    When satire is indistinguishable from reality…

    But have at it. Gotta get your amusement somehow on an ANZAC weekend. I must say it’s the first time I’ve been called a scientologist *snorfle*

    Like

  4. The General says:

    Absolutely funny as, should subscribe to this.

    Like

  5. I take the boy out into the country for a little horse riding, a bit of quad bike riding, relaxing with old friends over a brace of chilled “Clammies” and some Howling Wolves and come back to this. I’ve always been pleasantly surprised that this level is the nastiest it ever gets on TWOP.

    I’ve always found my news to be the opposite of hoax. So true it attacks the stomach lining. However I did find it surprising that this;

    Edith Cowan “May have been man” . A researcher has poured doubt on the claims that Cowan was WA’s first female parliamentarian. DNA from…

    was believed by several people.

    But was not surprised that this;

    No news bad news? A dishevelled & babbling Peter Holland was ejected from the ABC building seemingly unaware he had resigned decades earlier…

    Was taken as gospel – by people that know PH well.

    Like

  6. shazza says:

    Now, now Bento, let’s not get too abstract.

    A satirical news outlet, a blog that runs fake news feed, people making references to clam baking. It’s all getting a bit Hunter S, for mine.

    Like

  7. shazza says:

    Dear TLA

    re. BCD. Have just finished crying from laughter.

    Like

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