The Maniacs! They burnt them all!

Charleston Heston: Oh my God. I’m back. I’m home. All the time, it was… We finally really did it.
[screaming] You Maniacs! You burnt them all! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! All the cheap Chinese Australian flags, the Hills Hoists, oh my god they burnt them all! You maniacs… -Planet of The Apes

A great couple of photos of Australia Day flag mania from Kill Teen Angst Fan Boy. KTAFB claimed it was an acid drenched orgy of car flag stealing and burning. (Not to mention Beaver damming). Apparently the flags exploded and were consumed in an instant like some kind of toxic prawn crackers.

I’ve always found that piss was the best drug for flag stealing and car door kicking-in. I well remember the expensive hand embroidered  banner for The Australian Society of accountants that was foolishly left unattended… but that’s another story. Acid is better for flag staring rather than burning – hey, but to each their own. You may also be wondering why I’m censoring the frail’s face but leaving in the cowboy boots and the sideys. Don’t worry, I am too. I am too.


About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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31 Responses to The Maniacs! They burnt them all!

  1. Grrr says:

    Admit it: this is a pretty blatant attempt to get in The West or on …. whoever does the 6PR morning show.

    That aside, somehow I’m not surprised that the cheap (Chinese? Plastic?) flag goes up faster than Barnett backsdown on a promise.

    And there’s a lovely composition to the image: the hills hoist, the dead grass…. the ’70s fashion.

    You just know they’re either listening to Wolfmother. Or perhaps Starship on the 96FM telecast.

    I hope it wasn’t a total fire ban day.


  2. David Cohen says:

    Wonderful backyard. Kudos KTAFB. The place looks familiar…hmmm…is it in Mt Hawthorn, by any chance??


  3. I’d Rather Be Flag Burning


  4. Ljuke says:

    and the cowboy boots


  5. You’d rather be the cowboy boots?


  6. Juffy says:

    At least they’re not being burnt.


  7. And are those other patches the remnants of flag burnings too KTAFB?


  8. Groucho says:

    A backyard full of such fine Buffalo grass is a breeding ground for cowboy boot wearing flag burning knobby knee red haired girls


  9. Frank Calabrese says:

    Heads up, Bob Maumiil to talk about flag Waving after the 12pm news.


  10. skink says:

    I’m glad you told me those are cowboy boots
    I thought she had scabby ankles as well as knobbly knees

    is she what you’d call a flaming red-head?


  11. Frank Calabrese says:

    Oh dear, the Rednecks are out in force (via) email on 6PR re Bob’s comments on the flag – one idiot is saying it’s a muslim plot.


  12. Bob Maumill. Your 6pr email contact doesn’t work you plonker. can someone please report these flag burners. They look like muslims to me.


  13. Groucho says:

    To me they look extremely fundamentally Irish…I believe someone heard them call out “Gaza burn the fuckers”, Gaza being Gary’s nickname and hence the media’s association of this volatile situation with the Isreali conflict, unknown terrorists groups, garden plots, Hills hoist rocket launchers plus Gaza’s red communist t-shirt is a dead giveaway.

    They are professionals indeed, mere mortals would not know that you always always start the flag burning process from the big star position. The result speaks for itself.


  14. forkboy says:

    Fanta Pants in boots
    electric koolaid sideburns
    advance Australia


  15. need to be austraya for syllables


  16. forkboy says:

    depends what state your from…..


  17. Groucho says:

    …you mean what state your in


  18. forkboy says:

    damn Neil Young and his “Rocking in the free world” to hell……my brain is so Queenslanded today…..


  19. js says:

    why are they only burning two?

    what about the other trillions?


  20. whirrwhirr says:

    wolfmother? starship? thats highly offensive, it was daniel johnston and moldy peaches all the way!!


  21. Snuff says:

    The treeless plain, the Hills Hoist, the picket fence, the ranga. Marvellous, TLA.


  22. New Perth says:

    I must say, I am starting to very much enjoy reading this blog.

    Seeing or hearing about things like this (flag burning) in Australia still surprises me! Having lived in the U.S. for 6 years, I sometimes forget that here you can do whatever the heck you want with the Australian flag.

    – New Perth


  23. Well if you’ve just started, there’s 500 back posts to catch up on.


  24. Groucho says:

    ….and a hell of alot of flag burning to get off your chest


  25. @NewPerth

    You can’t ‘do what you want’ to the flag.

    Burning a small flag in your backyard and posting about it means fuck all. Do it on the southern foreshore, or at the Cott, or 2am in Northbridge. Or shit in your australia-flag-board-shorts at BDO.


  26. Maii Boo says:

    hehe… i know those people… does that make me the worst of Perth by proxy? YAY!

    here’s an addition to the fun… they’re both born on Australia Day!


  27. furry freak says:

    i dig. but why only 2?!

    the redneck, cornjack son’s of bitches who wave the butcher’s apron should be shot.


  28. mogan says:

    does anyone remember maple?


  29. Groucho says:

    Twins ?


  30. Kill Teen Angst Fan Boi says:

    I certainly remember Maple!

    Elton John loves it… but ends up… with caca everywhere…

    So why do the… ausch fausting?

    Anal anal anal anal anal anal fisting fisting fisting fisting fisting fisting fisting…


  31. Rolly says:

    K T A B F,

    you really seem to like getting to the bottom of things.
    Better take a long hot shower and scrub under your nails carefully.


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