Noo Yoik Days, Noo Yoik Nights

In dress, habits, manners, provincialism, routine and narrowness, he acquired that charming insolence, that irritating completeness, that sophisticated crassness, that overbalanced poise that makes the Manhattan gentleman so delightfully small in his greatness.
O. Henry

First time submitter Ant was passing through Myers, saw this scene and immediately thought The Worst of Perth. Thanks Ant. You thoit good.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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67 Responses to Noo Yoik Days, Noo Yoik Nights

  1. squib says:


    Oh that it brilliant! Bagel haute couture

    I was gonna take a pic of all the stars and stripes when I was there. They got just a little bit carried away


  2. Sunili says:

    Yeah I noticed the horrendousness of this too. IThe NY branding is on EVERY LEVEL. Is this supposed to be a STAC tie-in ie “CARRIEd away”? If so, someone in marketing should be shot. New York is pretty. This look is NOT pretty.

    But. There is a sliver lining: they are selling American edible goodies on Level 2 near the kitchenware dept, and I stocked up on Reece’s Cups yesterday. Peanut butter and chocolate, people: it is the one thing you just can’t fault the Yanks for.


  3. B. T. says:

    Shouldn’t she have her arm held high holding a stack of bagels in the shape of torch? And a crown of bagels? And be green?


  4. I think 4 strategically placed bagels would have done it.


  5. Juffy says:

    So if we believe this advertising New York populated entirely by bagels and inappropriately dressed yellow people. Crikey, the Simpsons was accurate all along….


  6. Rage says:

    1. That bagel dress serves only to make me more hungry and yet turn my stomach at the same time. Inner conflict!
    2. Myer’s VM is always effing horrendous. Always. It would be better for business if they just didn’t do anything at all.
    3. Peanut butter cups? Do they have the peanut butter M&M’s, too? I’m totally going to Myer at lunch. How exciting.


  7. Rage says:

    That should be Myers’. Now I have to go into the corner and beat myself.


  8. Mango says:

    Oh, those bagel earrings! The epitome of class!


  9. Rolly says:

    World class.


  10. Mazarina says:

    somewhere in NY in a dark corner of a dept store could we ever hope to see a black swan dress in response? preferrably with marketing materials displaying swan shaped logos, swan font, and the mannequins standing on a swan shaped island. just an idea… if it’s good enough for the foreshore dammit!

    seriously, this is just embarrassing


  11. Rage says:

    Good point, maz. We should invite Bjork to be our new ambassador.


  12. David Cohen says:

    Where do the Myer people get the small strap bagels from? Or are they freakishly-large bleached Froot Loops??


  13. Rolly says:

    DC, They’re probly made of plastic foam so they likely wudna be too tasty.


  14. cimbali says:

    After my first glimpse I thought she was wearing donuts. It would have been just as appropriate. Do you think that would have been some sort of improvement?
    Then I started thinking it was some sort of donut party game where you have to eat them off with your hands tied behind your back…


  15. skink says:

    I was in Brisbane last week and couldn’t believe the number of people carrying big boxes of Krispy Kreme donuts

    when I got on the plane there were at least six people taking home boxes of donuts as carry-on luggage

    I believe they are opening a store in Perth. Lord help us. I believe each box comes with its own defibrillator


  16. Mat B says:

    Is this the store in the city? I haven’t been in there for years, but I’m suprised it’s so crappy looking. Perhaps the whole Myer Perth is a candidate for TWOP?


  17. I think it was the city store. I think I find the checked chick stranger. Couldn’t they have slipped a bagel over her bits?


  18. Frank Calabrese says:

    [I believe they are opening a store in Perth. Lord help us. I believe each box comes with its own defibrillator]

    I’m told by my Brother in Law when he was working for the Rural Fire Service in NSW, Krispy Kreme would give free donuts to the emergency services folk.

    Expect more unfit cops :-)


  19. Levon says:

    Now that Carson Kresley has wandered around the store doing whatever it is he does to plug their New York contest, Myer are now bringing in Ninja Turtles. That’s right, Ninja Turtles.

    And Perth Now even managed to make a joke!

    “First it was How to Look Good Naked’s Carson Kressley, now Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles‘ Donatello and Leonardo will be in Myer’s city store today as part of its 3 Weeks in New York Promotion – though they’ll be keeping their shells on. Meet the TMNT pair between noon and 4pm.”


  20. Rolly says:

    Levon @ 19

    It just goes to show that anything exotic is superior to some home grown stuff, – even if it is petty, puerile and passé.


  21. Levon says:

    I just like that Raphael and Michaelangelo had too much artistic integrity (pun possibly intended) to whore themselves out to this event.


  22. Yeah, Donny and Leo would be well suited to musical theatre.


  23. Ant says:

    It was the Myer store in Murray street,Perth. The goons raiding Bill Henson’s exhibitions ought to confiscate this, um , art too.


  24. cimbali says:

    Having raised the name Bill Henson Ant, i just have to have a small rant. everyone can feel free to ignore it as irrelevant to this blog.
    It really pisses me off that the media, in order to ramp up the hysteria over this issue, insist on discussing whether Bill Hensons work is art or pornography. the guy is an artist and the work is art. Pornography has ever been in the eye of the beholder!
    But that is beside the point. A twelve year old is not capable of deciding whether posing nude for a photographer (and incidentally in this case, a television crew) is good for him or her – that is why they are still legally under the care of their parents.
    If the parents think that posing nude is in the best interests of their 12 year old daughter then they need to be beaten about the head with large sticks. It simply does not fall within the disturbingly wide range of things you are allowed to visit upon your children.
    I would be interested to see what rules exist within the film industry for the protection of underage actors and would be surprised if there weren’t laws about how they can be portrayed. I also think there must be laws about posing nude for life drawing classes.

    Ok, sorry, I’ll stop now.


  25. And giving them mullets as children. The haircut, not the fish.


  26. cimbali says:

    And rat tails. the haircut, not the back end of a rat.


  27. Rolly says:

    The whole argument of nudity, young or old, is crap.
    The problem revolves around a society that, with plenty of evidence to the contrary, considers that a child is intrinsically harmed by first hand experience of nudity.
    It’s the early brainwashing of kids with these fundamentally flawed concepts that creates the problems.


  28. NOR says:

    Geez rolly, Ill need my thasaurus, dictionary and google to disypher your reply ^


  29. Wot about exposure to beards?


  30. NOR yaever notise the red sqiggly thinkes intha techtbox ?


  31. cimbali says:

    Yes Rolly, you are right. but it all depends on context. if we all wandered around nude then there wouldn’t be a problem (well not this problem anyway) but we don’t.
    So in the context of the society in which we actually live – not some nude utopia, where the photographer and the film crew and possibly the parents, (if they were there – and if they weren’t then they should be beaten about the head for that as well) were all fully clothed, then we cannot help but attach meaning to the fact that the child isn’t.
    Besides that, the doco on the telly showed both kids were posed in a sexual context if not in actual sexual poses. In the society in which we actually live it is illegal for kids under the age of 16 to have sex. You can argue that the law is ridiculous since they are clearly having sex left right and centre but that doesn’t alter the fact that our society does not condone it.
    If Bill Henson wants to investigate the point at which we stop being children and become adults and he wants to question the rules of a society which doesn’t condone nudity and underage sex then all well and good but he should not be allowed to do so at the expense of a child who cannot possibly be mature enough to decide that she wants to explore these thing in public herself.


  32. lactatingbookworm says:

    But what is art and what is crap? Depends where it’s showcased and if there’s a lengthy explanation next to it. I saw an installation once where there were just used tea cups on a table. I think I paid to see it and was with some arty friends who thought it was fantastic and had many big words to explain why it was so arty. I’m sure you could write something about the bagel, vagina dentata minus the teeth, needing to confront the male gaze even when one has moved onto dentures stage of life….with the one with the checks over her you could spin something about how women only have one last chance these days in life, one last round..(insert some feminist theory)..we are objectified, used a few times, spun around on the grand prix circuit of life and then left panty-less? hmm I’m not too good at this. But I know people who are, who use big words to describe this sort of installation. hmmm ok i just read the comments everyone has moved on from this and is now talking about child porn.


  33. cimbali says:

    LBW – I thought you were talking about child porn. Clearly you are better at this than you think.


  34. flynn says:

    Simply, he can not publish said photos until he receives consent of the children after they reach 18. Then they can also divorce their parents.


  35. RubyRuby says:

    TLA – has the Bartender seen this post? Is it one that we should be bringing to his attention?

    I wish I had been paying more attention to Perth back when I arrived, I think this display would have been current about the time that I was in a perpetual state of shock at how much was being charged for rent locally. Gah.


  36. The Legend 101 says:

    Are they donuts, where else but America would think of that and dont you mean New York not New Yoik.


  37. The Legend 101 says:

    I wont band you Vegan so stop trying to be funny please.


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