Oh, yeah, shit, the foreshore. Lisa reminded me, that I hadn’t commented. 3 posts in one day! Don’t say I don’t look after all your worst needs. I thought it was a joke when Mazarina sent me the pics, and I haven’t been really able to take it all in. I was relieved to see that there is an island shaped like a swan, which I could label as risible without having to think about the rest. I had actually expected sort of interestingly developed parkland with a few interesting buildings, but wasn’t expecting a scene from Bladerunner. Also, the convention centre is still there.
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The Worst of Perth 
and if you look real close, just behind the giant blender, the bell tower survives too
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Urgh!! that thing on the right looks suspiciously like a former Foreign affairs ministers leg!…
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When I saw a photograph or two in The Oz this morning, I questioned myself as to why the building on the right was wrapped in a giant sheet of chicken wire.
Also of note was how they rendered the images. Normally conceptual designs are done in soothing watercolours, showing people strolling along boardwalks. This looks like something out of Coruscant from Star Wars, except the buildings aren’t kilometers high.
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Intense.
It’s all well and good rendering a water equivalent of the great aussie cul-de-sac tradition on a computer, but give it a handful of 36-42 degree days and that place is going to smell exactly like Kwinana Freeway just south of The Narrows.
Mmmm mmm. Visual AND olfactory overload. Dullsville begone!
Also, I like that we couldn’t just settle for a traditional bridge. It has to have a big swirl in it, cos we’re *so* fucking special.
Build it, I give that 110% support.
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It’s missing a giant great expressway thru the middle, but I’m sure that’ll come before too long.
I hate it. Given the trend, hopefully it’ll be consigned to the bin but there’s a lot riding on it. I’m a member of the ALP and I’m considering changing my vote so Carps can’t implement it.
It looks like Surfers Paradise on Swan. Imagine the hollow, shadowy canyons in the daytime. Even Darling Harbour isn’t hemmed in by skyscrapers.
Where exactly is this thing supposed to be?
Where will the children play?
Where’s the glass swan boat in this scheme? Docked at the swan island?
What will it look like when it’s not night time?
Where’s supreme court gardens?
What’s in all those high-rises – offices? and will that bring new life back to the city?
What happened to al fresco dining, outdoor pursuits, all that?
Are we an easy going outdoor culture that enjoys wearing thongs and drinking beer in the sun, or the new Hong Kong?
Why do we need this? Who said we need this? Who asked for it, apart from developers?
Has there been any kind of environmental impact consideration as part of this, or did someone just have an all night sci-fi watching session and knock up a design the next morning?
It’s really goddamn ugly.
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Lisa,
And I see that The West is behind it as well – the reason – it’s part owner one K Stokes is hoping to gain financially from the project, especially where the Ent Centre is.
[Why do we need this? Who said we need this? Who asked for it, apart from developers?]
Lisa Scaffidi and the the City of Perth. :-)
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Be skeptical. Be very skeptical.
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Shakes? Me too. I get them bad. It’s part of the business.
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Burkie’s fingerprints are all over this. I smell money and lots of it.
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Where are the flying cars?
It’s horrible – lose everything but the swan island – that is brilliant!
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Coffee any-one?
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I will freely admit I’m the first person to whinge about our beautiful foreshore going to waste. But this???? It feels so claustrophobic – it screams of ‘I have too much money and no idea how to use it!’ Was the bell tower not enough of a phallic symbol? Now we have the supersized dildo wrapped in one of those styrofoam skirt things grocers put on grapefruits. I’m sure the Pride parade organisers can put it to good use though. As for the swan island – I HATE it! it’s so obvious, too crude. Why can’t we have oh I dunno REAL swans on the Swan River again instead of fake islands? And the high rise buildings – well that’s Homeswest housing to alleviate housing affordability issues. Sorry, every time I look at this picture I’m sent into a frothing delirium of rage.
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http://www.perthwaterfront.com.au has a comment cloud on the front page. if enough people add the comment “Appalling”, eventually it will dominate the cloud in 256pt bold type. go to it.
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There’s a public comment site, copy and paste
http://www.perthwaterfront.com.au
Flying cars would be great though.
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You’re all missing the point. We need all those high rise buildings to ensure that there is no possibility of any of those undeserving poor people will ever get a glimpse of the water. At least, not without paying a substantial entry fee.
Whether or not this scheme goes ahead (and it looks a little desperate and unlikely to me), it seems inevitable that future development will see both sea front and riverside walled off to all but the wealthy.
I’m agin it anyway, if only because it’ll put paid to the light aircraft fly-ins that are held occasionally in Langley Park. I vastly prefer Tiger Moths to tall buildings.
The Swan island could probably be built in Perth Water though.
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…and the thing bottom left looks like a pair of spidermans undies..!!
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“Desperate and unlikely”. Yes Intel Bogan, I think that is pretty accurate.
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Ummm Mazarina – I don’t really love the swan island – it’s just that it is the very worst thing there, which kind of makes it the best thing there – if you get what I mean.
Just out of interest – isn’t this area where the Woggle used to live?
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Spiderman’s undies, yes yes yes.
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[Just out of interest – isn’t this area where the Woggle used to live?]
Yes, it was one of the paths of the Wagyl :-) I see that the Conservation council are supporting it, depending on Environmental conditions being met.
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wow – just trawled thru the perthwaterfront website comments page. Mum, dad ‘n the kids seem to like it…
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Until they include a giant Pie and sauce I’m not buyin’ it!!
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It. Will. Never. Happen.
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what’s the matter with TWOP entourage?
only Mazarina has correctly described the big thing as a giant dildo.
we can also see an amoeba, and an AIDS ribbon.
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I am sooooooooo disappointed that my work visa will expire and I’ll have to go home before I ever get to walk on that roundybout bridge.
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oh yeah golden1 I get it – I just get a bit TOO emotional sometimes. sigh.
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That building with chicken wire around it is just begging to have glass bottles thrown at it.
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That area looks like a jellyfish trap. One of the buildings should be in the shape of a big brown jellyfish.
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And no breezeblocks I notice.
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who are the schlubs behind the design?
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I think the spiderman undies might turn out ok. Only one of the buildings I like at all. The dildo might have something. haven’t decided yet.
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it does seem ironic that part of the plan is to reclaim the brackish esturine water previously reclaimed to build the esplanade. Does this mean it is no longer the esplanade? Remember they are planning another fishtrap outside the Concert Hall. A good comparison is Claisebrook – a reclaimed inlet on the site of a reclaimed swamp.
Welcome to Perth – city of reclamation!
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i’m betting it’s less than a week after the opening ceremony that some irritated and impatient pedestrian twists an ankle leaping fromt he top of the loop to the bottom of the loop in an attempt to circumvent the roundybout walkway.
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I apologise. in fact the AIDS ribbon is a relocated waterslide from Adventure World.
Can we have an island next to the swan island in the shape of Rottnest Island? or at the front of the amoeba? wherever is fine.
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I support the project, the bigger the better to pump some life back into Perth. Everybody knows Perth is screaming out for development and buckling under the pressure of not having enough commercial spaces.
Any project that’s big and bold is always going to have my support, particularly because it’s another step forward for Perth getting the changes it needs.
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Ah yes sustainability the buzzword of our times….cant wait for those composting toilets to go into the top floors of Alexander Downers leg and trickle down through the urban community hanging gardens of babylon into the river below, feeding all those feral blowies,…..bring it on YES,YES,YES….
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Look at that bridge. It reminds me of building my V8 replica Scalextra race car set. Where is the impossible chicane?
Great Blade Runner call but did everyone know that if you cut open the Convention Centre it would ooze bright green/yellow light?
Plus what happened to the new Esplanade Train Station?
I hope to buy one of the South facing apartments and be level with Kevin Reynold’s and Shelly Archer’s Canning Bridge apartment. With some powerful binoculars you could see the glint of her pearls from that distance.
Welcome to Dullsville – the disco remix.
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BAD!!! BAD BAD BAD!!!!
What the fricking heck is the POINT of a river with no natural shoreline? If it’s walled all the way around the edges I might as well stay at home and admire a view of my bathtub.
Way to get rid of even more swans from the Swan River.
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In Perth no one can hear you scream.
I think that’s the Spacely Space Sprockets building on the left.
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When I first glanced at the cover of The West this morning, I thought it was a photo of Dubai.
Really.
On second glance, I revoked my initial assumptions. I was totally wrong. It looks like left over, horrible Dubai vomit, drawn up at night to prove that Perth’s future is both exciting (because nothing screams excitement so much as lights, chicken wire, and a city that looks like it’s become radioactive in an unfortunate accident) AND that our citizens are constantly in the dark.
However, if this will turn our city into a tax free haven, full of shonky businessmen that ply the ladies with apartments, cars and Hermes, then maybe my mind can be changed. I would really like a new handbag.
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I can distinctly see several jelly fish LA, in fact the so called spiderman undies is a jelly fish which has a couple of chunks removed by a toddler with a large spoon – as usually seen on the crawley foreshore.
What I really love about this image is the implied metropolis that exists beyond the edges of the picture. The thought that this toads tool ring is surrounded by a large and vibrant city makes it almost make sense but knowing the entire extent of the city is shown makes it more than unusually ludicrous.
ps How extraordinary to find the sentence: “…composting toilets to go into the top floors of Alexander Downers leg….” it really does defy imagination
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Well, I for one would like to see it built, if only so that we can nickname a building “Alexander Downer’s Leg”.
And yes, I wondered about all those other highrises in the background. I don’t get into the city much these days but I’m sure I’d have noticed them if they actually existed.
Seriously though, even with all the cash that’s sloshing around in WA at the moment, I can’t see this ever happening. It’s just too ambitious. It’s too horrible too, but that never stopped anyone.
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Um, the ‘schlubs’ behind this are( to my best knowledge, and definitely responsible for part of it), is ARM. i dont really wanna weigh into this debate, just because it would take to long, and there is so many factors to consider, that a blog comment will definetly not do it justice. if i may add my 2 cents, i like it. admittedly the towers are overkill ,and i doubt they would ever be built, but as a conceptual starting point, this is excellent. And the loop/bridge thing over the inlet, if i may jump to conclusions, most probably has something to do with exploring the knot of australian architecture. Explored many times before by this firm. thanks.
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Everyone is always going on about what wonderful things have been done to Brisbane’s waterfront, and there have been many delegations over there. Surely this isn’t what they have done? Is it?
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Brisbanes waterfront is even more of a salty shallow mosqito infested swamp than ours – and its even more tidal. Promo photos never show low tide when all the dead fish and car batteries can be seen from the casino windows
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I’m warming to the huge food processor (previously named Dildo and Alexander). I hope it rotates
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Deckard the halls with boughs of folly,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Because Carps has too much money,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
With a big fat dildo he’s feeling cocksure ,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
and a curly bridge, http://www.perthforeshore
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
It will be built, he’ll make it speedy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
He will get no schtick from liz Scaffidi.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Follow Carps in merry measure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
While he taxes North West treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Funny how bad memories pass us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Hail the new, forget the fuck-ups,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Building spaceships at our leisure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Heedless of the wind and weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
38 degrees and humid – hmmm smell that sweet sweet Swan
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Golden1 and Frank, you’re right on the money – we definately need a Wagyl Rock, uniquely local,respectful of the origins,….wot wagyl would not love to live here? The Wagyl is actually the perfect motif for this precinct, if we only knew what one looked like…..!!!
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Art Heretic, I would have been impressed with just a haiku.
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… a lot of those stumpy hi rises look a bit like afterthoughts but the swan actually looks a lot like a bigger version of the Watershed from a few festivals ago – would actually make an excellent venue if the local multimillionaire tennants didnt object!
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If the beak was open, would be a great TWOP logo.
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[but the swan actually looks a lot like a bigger version of the Watershed from a few festivals ago – would actually make an excellent venue if the local multimillionaire tennants didnt object!]
Which is why all levels of govts and others are hesitant to build entertainment areas for that very reason, the old NIMBY syndrome from people from people who buy move in, fully aware there is a hotel/nightclub, then whinge like buggery to the Council cos of the noise.
The licence conditions imposed on the old Swan Brewery are a good example of this.
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The Old Swan Brewery has been xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx for years abusing resident’s right to peace in their homes. Residents are given misleading information when they buy in that it is a restaurant and can only serve meals with alchol. The real facts are that although they do not have the correct license xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx hundreds of times throughout the year causing pain and hardship to the residents with RGL ignoring their breaches. I bet you would ‘Whinge like buggery’ if your bogan neighbours held a party 3 times a day several times a week as The Old Swan Brewery does by xxxxxxxxxxxxxx functions. You should really check your facts.
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Thirty eight degrees
a humid smell arises
hmmm the sweet sweet Swan
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an Haiku
for you
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Carps in his tower
the building like a dildo
a jellyfish rots
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nice
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A swan in the swan
What type of puzzle of this
of course a money
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it screams of ‘I have too much money and no idea how to use it!’
Is that a criticism? I would think that that’s exactly the statement we are going for.
I’m all for it.
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Rory,
Too much money…etc. is pretty well an endemic condition shared by those on average incomes ++
and it’s pretty well killing the planet.
Mind you, if everyone lived as frugally as I do, it would put most of the lending institutions out of business overnight and the ‘hospitality’ industries would shrink to the occasional B & B and cornerhouse tearoom.
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You wouldnt get NIMBY’s in the city – they wouldnt have back yards!!!! Perhaps NUMB,NUMB’s (Not Under My Balcony)
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Hey LA – is this the most commented on Worst OF so far?
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The more I look at the website the more petty minded, provincial and pretentious the whole concept seems to be.
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Golden1. Son of Fed Square still most commented, but will be overtaken by this today.
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How will this affect the Oz day Skyworks, I wonder? Can anyone else foresee dystopian images of bogans scaling the chicken-wire dildo en masse and doing bombies into Perth water? Can’t wait!
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I’ll concede I don’t mind spiderman’s undies either….but the rest can sink into oblivion as quickly as a politician’s career after contacting Burkie
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did i break the fed square comment record?
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Hey, why don’t I just copy and paste what I wrote in the federation square/perth arena comments section:
“It always seems like there’s a section of the population who are willing to say it’s too ugly, too bold, too expensive, too bland, not big enough, not small enough, not environmentally friendly enough, not accessible enough, not exclusive enough, not egalitarian enough. Oh god! That it’s being built at all, in the face of all of that, is a victory in itself. And that we’ve come out of that hubbub with a building [or foreshore development in this case] which rails against the norm, well all I can say is hurrah.”
Having said that, I know I would never be able to afford to live there, I hate the outdoors, I dislike rich people and I think that Swan Island is terribly kitsch. So why am I so interested in having it built?
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Oh, and a comment to push us over the Federation Square comment total. Well done to everybody.
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Sounds like masochism to me Martin. We don’t need this piece of crap and it shouldn’t be built.
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I a TWOP post about the comments on TWOP is becoming more and more an inevitability.
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I think this is different Martin. Son of Fed Square was mostly about the building itself. I think this is more about how the area will work. Looking at it carefully last night, I have to say i don’t like much of it. The area is hemmed in like a walled city. How is this going to reconnect to the river? The small hi rises all have to go. Just look like accountants offices to me. The tower. What is it for? How does this enhance the use of the river area?The dildo should move to the centre of town. I’m Ok with the spiderman undies. More how I think the convention centre should have gone. I’m ok with the bridge. Chicken island is hilarious. Basically I’m saying lose the hi rises.
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Scrap the whole lot and just sink Riverside Drive.
Small scale development like the Barrack Street Jetty O.K and more Point Fraser stuff ; revegetation and space for open air concerts. It’s not a grandiose vision it just preserves public open space.
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LA: I think that’s a fair criticism of the plan. Those smaller high rises don’t appear to do much for a ‘reconnection’. Especially since in those renders the buildings have skybridges connecting them and they give the impression of being hemmed in. I really think at street level it would feel very different; the scale of that inlet is pretty huge. I guess you have to remember that these aren’t the specific buildings that will definitely be built, but rather generally what the government hopes to see.
But the reconnection to the city works because it gets rid of riverside drive and activates a vast swath of dead, dead, utterly dead space. It gives people a reason to interact with the water. It spreads low-rise residential along the river down to the narrows bridge, so instead of an on-ramp we have a place for people to live. I imagine having a rason to walk from Northbridge to the Foreshore and it really, really excites me. There’s going to be a god damn beach for goodness sakes. I hate the beach, and I think this is awesome!
You can tell I’m pro this development, right? I mean, just to be sure. ;)
I asked a taxi driver (excellent gauges of public opinion) what he thought about this and he said it was awful because “people like to sit on that grass and it’s all going to go”. To further astonish me, he said he loved living in Dubai and couldn’t wait to score another job there?!
Oh Perth, a city of contrasts. Beige and slightly not beige.
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Bill, that’s what I thought would be proposed. I’m not against a few good interesting buildings, but yes, lose Riverside, keep it all low, with a few points of architectural interest.
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agree LA and Bill. and don’t forget to keep anna lakshmi too! best place to eat on the jetty at the moment!
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Analakshmi plays with my mind. Pay what you think you should pay?
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Can’t understand why no-one has suggested shifting the riverside drive to the Northern side of Langley Park. (Of course it would have to be renamed.)
Maybe even make a tunnel of it with amenities and walkways built on top.
That way the mindless commuters wouldn’t have to see the waterscape of the river and curse their misfortune at being unable to escape the mayhem that is “rush” hour. (Who ever coined that oxymoron should have been vapourised.)
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What would really be cool would be urban foodscapes throughout the city rather than just ornamental plantings, theres something pretty weird about architects and govts talking about sustainable housing without proximity to locally grown produce!! No food – no folks basically!! Food miles is an interesting concept and I’m sure will become more of an issue in the near future.
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at the risk of being unpopular i dig it, i hope the tower goes that high, even though i know it’ll probably have 30 stories lopped off i because some people whinged.
bring it on, build it now, it should’ve been done years ago.
the only bit i dislike is the swan island, ffs! i can handle the dubai-esque architecture and look, but a swan island? it’s perth, NOT DUBAI! If you want an island, make an island, why does it have to be shaped like a swan? It’d probably look better with no island at all!
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I s’pose you could make the lake a venue for all the motorised watersports and so confine the noise to just one locale.
The buildings would deflect the sound and the frenetic activities would stir up the water to oxygenate it well and provide a lovely rainbow-like sheen that you’d get from the film of oil pollution on the surface.
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Do’nt mind it. TWOP does risk being too high-minded and negative on these things at times.
Perth city/foreshore desperately needs some life.
High rise on the foreshore along with mixed residential/commercial/cultural-medium to low rise areas has to become a reality for better or worse. Though preferably the buildings will be innovative and not just more cold steel and concrete and rectangular towers for the nouveau riche.
And highrise that really push the envelope in terms of design standards hopefully and not just push up a developers bank balance. That swan does worry however.
Lots interesting comments though.
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the belltower in a bigger picture looks like a pimple on the surgically enhanced, botoxed face of a cashed up bogan wife.
i sincerely hope that this is a springboard for conceptual ideas and not a realistic interpretation of what SOMEONE envisions(read: hallucinates) for this city in the next 10 years. they hope to start solidifying plans and begin works by 2010/11? GOOD BLOODY LUCK. there’s enough red tape in this place to drown a swan, yes, even a swan-shaped island.
the question is: will WA be able to sustain this kind of development? i’d love to hear what charles landry would say about this- did anyone hear him speak last year? we can barely survive a 9-5 cityscape, how will we take to dubai-on-drugs? we want to be like melbourne’s social scene? we have to build up our culture and arts heft first. we like sydney’s round-the-clock activity? we have get more people living inner-city, build up our residential density which would probably equal better transport/house pricing/looser council restrictions.
i’d love to come back in 10 years and see where we are….
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that all being said- i am happy that we’re imagining. heck, i’m happy that we’re even taking baby steps towards getting rid of the dullsville tag.
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Alan Carpenter said on Stateline tonight “you can’t build it before you announce it”. It has now been announced, does this mean that it is inevitable that it will be built?
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The only reason he gave for why we needed all this hi-rise was so that people from around the world would look at us. He also mentioned people saying how amazing Shanghai is. Shanghai is a good example of hi rise for no reason. Pudong is very very silly. Beijing has stayed relatively low.
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Wow, I need to stop paying tax =o
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face it, toytown *needs* a kiddie play pool complete with little rubber duck…sorry, swan.
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The reconnection to the river is all the buildings along what is now Riverside Dr west, between the river and the interchange – it’s easy to miss them, since they’re only in pics 1 and 11. It looks more like Darling Harbour than Circular Quay to me.
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Isn’t that the Access 31 skyline?
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You may be right. Hey, Bedford crackpot, didn’t you work on that?
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That skyline logo treatment was after mine and was I thought,..a piece of juvenile CG rubbish!! – i did the sparky angle grinder treatment before it!!
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[That skyline logo treatment was after mine and was I thought,..a piece of juvenile CG rubbish!! – i did the sparky angle grinder treatment before it!!]
Am I correct in assuming that you were also briefly on the CTV Perth Management Committee ?? :-), and whose name I cannot for the life remember ?
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hey easy Frank! I might be a crackpot but I’m not certifiable!! No Committees for me!!!!
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Swan Island looks ok from the birds eye view in the pic, but down on the ground there will be no resemblance to a swan….so really whats the point….is it just for the tower viewers…?
… and isnt that tower in the front right slightly reminiscent of the (kak) water tower at Curtin Uni (Cold Tinnie-TWOP 10/01/08)… could they have coerced the same students to do this futuristic design work :?)
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You people must really like grass or maybe smoke too much of it. What is this site? NIMBY city or something LOL.
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Both
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I had an excellent idea that Swan Island should be a high security prison.
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Does anyone know who the opposition development mouthpiece is? I couldn’t work out who it was. I want to find out the opposition’s reaction to this fantasy. You will be commenter 100 if you do know.
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[Does anyone know who the opposition development mouthpiece is? I couldn’t work out who it was. I want to find out the opposition’s reaction to this fantasy. You will be commenter 100 if you do know.]
Simon O’Brien.
http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=145&ContentID=55896
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I contacted Simon O’Brien on behalf of TWOP readers witjh a series of questions on the project, including whether they support demolishing the Conv Centre. No reply as yet. Deafening silence actually.
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Can I include a picture in a comment?
If that doesn’t work..
ur doin’ it wrong!
:D
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Only links.
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TWOPers may be interested in the following info, cut & pasted from a recent ArtRage newsletter:
“Perth Samplings 08 – Perth Foreshore Master Plan
Presented by The Office of the Government Architect, Perth Samplings 08 is a monthly lecture series happening at The Bakery on the first Wednesday of the month.
The first PS08 for this year sees some of the key players in Perth’s Waterfront Project present a background and client perspective as a brief introduction to the project. Phil Slater who is the Landcorp Project Director of the Perth Waterfront Project will speak, alongside the development’s designer Professor Richard Weller and architect Howard Raggatt.
This will be a unique insight into the Perth Waterfront Project and will provide a forum for audience comment and debate on the issues surrounding the development.
Wednesday April 2
Doors open 5:30 pm for a 6 pm start
Entry $10, $5 students and semi permanent ticket holders
http://www.perthwaterfront.com.au“
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If that Ferris Wheel of Dubious Fortune goes up we’ll have to start calling him Sideshow Carps!! I just hope they put numbers on the fucker so we can place bets from Kings Park!
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One of the biggest problems with this design is the incredible abundance of retail and office floor space. You could very nearly fit every office in the Perth metro area into these buildings. So the very real question is, what happens when nearly every office in the proposed design is empty?
A very real probability is that land prices for office space will plummet. People with land holdings, particularly retail and office space, will fare very poorly.
And the dumbest part? All of that land along the river front is reclaimed land – it was originally all under water. Why the hell, then, would you take some of the most expensive real estate in Perth and dig a man-made lake in the middle of it? If you want it to have a central water feature, then build boardwalks over the existing water, like in Toronto. Don’t just dig it all up for the sake of it!
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Libs vow to scrap foreshore plan.
http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=77&ContentID=95690
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I have to say I’m glad we are not getting this idiotic proposal for the foreshore now. Seems like a lack of money and imagination might even result in something good for the foreshore. And Subi redevelopment? Again we’re better off without it. The museum would have been good, but there is some merit in siting it in Northbridge.
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Come on – you’re not even a little bit sad we won’t get Swan Island?
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