(Mid) land that time forgot

Thanks to everyone who listened to the radio interview yesterday and visited the site. It was TWOP’s biggest ever day, with nearly 5000 hits. The ABC says audio will be available soon. If it was your first time, welcome. There is a new worst every day.

I wouldn’t have been surprised to find Kurtz at Midland Station, since I must have said “The Horror” numerous times. Instead I saw four goths getting out of a Hyundai and a man screaming “Listen c*nt!…” over and over again into his mobile. The area around the station is one of the ugliest and depressing places in the city. Commando war hero Jack Sue’s dive shop is also here. He should reform a Z Special Unit of Town planners to raid the area one night, cut a few throats and demolish the station and Centrepoint.

jack sue

add to del.icio.us :: Add to Blinkslist :: add to furl :: Digg it :: add to ma.gnolia :: Stumble It! :: add to simpy :: seed the vine :: :: :: TailRank

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in worst architecture, worst clock and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

47 Responses to (Mid) land that time forgot

  1. caide says:

    Is Midland rail station really that bad?


  2. I do know someone that likes it Caide, but the whole area is tatty, run down, and a little bit scary.


  3. tomthrett says:

    the train station is great! midland, is…um… less than desirable. diamond in one helluva rough.


  4. caide says:

    Fair play then LA. I start TAFE there on Tuesday, wish me luck. In case you are wondering, I have been a long time reader of Worst, but only just built up the courage to actively join in.


  5. conticopy says:

    And let me guess, you didn’t take the photo at 12:34.

    Proceed further east on GE Highway; they’ve built the new below ground carpark for Midland Gate above the ground!


  6. Nettie says:

    A little bit scary??? It terrifies me! lol
    I know grown men who quake in their boots just contemplating walking through that area. I’m sure it’s the reason my hubby refuses to even contemplate public transport. Not that he’d ever admit it ;-)


  7. I think the clock was on pre daylight saving and wrong, but I could be doing it a disservice.


  8. Checked the data. Sorry, the clock was correct. Nice to have you commenting caide. It’s pretty friendly unless we mention Fed square or convention centre.


  9. Frank Calabrese says:

    I’m surprised you weren’t detained by the Transdit Guards for taking Happy Snaps like this bus fan was.


    Note that further down the page that Midland is mentioned re photos.


  10. Tomthrett, 90% of the time I agree with you on what’s good, but Midland station is where we will definitely have to disagree. Perhaps it was the malevolent vibe, of the surroundings but I tried hard to see some value in it but failed.


  11. Shohan says:


    The pseudo Egyptian pylon clock thing would actually get my approval (as a brave effort to try and do something different, not for SUCCEEDING), if it wasn’t for the fact that it’s set on top of a horrifying pile of shit.

    That looks more like a shearing shed than a train station. And an ugly shearing shed to boot.


  12. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    Awwww, Midland ain’t that bad. Well, it is, but no worse than plenty of other suburbs.

    Then again, my status as a 185 cm, 120kg almost-bikie probably skews my view of what constitutes a scary area.

    Interestingly though, dodgy as Midland is, some anomalies do stand out.

    Like the DC-3 aircraft that stood behind MacDonalds for years and remained unvandalised. Similarly, the remarkably unscathed steam locomotive that sits almost invisibly behind Centrepoint.

    The whole town is undergoing rapid gentrification though, as it becomes the main commercial centre for the affluent inner Hills and Swan Valley suburbs.

    Speaking of clocks, did you notice the (I think) war memorial clock in the same general area as Centrepoint and the station, with its interesting orientation relative to the building it’s on?


  13. I have a shot of that clock. My father used to call it the ugliest building in the world as we drove past in the 1960’s and 1970’s. But that was before centrepoint was built.


  14. Mazarina says:

    ahh Midland. That train station truly is a showcase of horrors. Really quite appropriate that it’s the ‘end of the line’. One of the absolutely worst parts of Midland is soon to be no more. The old licensing centre (used to be across the road from Midland Gate) has closed and a new office will be opening in the shopping centre complex in March. Who could forget the day the licensing centre had to close temporarily due to rat infestation last year? and despite all of this, I still have a soft spot for Midland.


  15. flynn says:

    Went to the Licensing center today – still open in the old building. Some minor changes to the partitioning but they have still managed to have the queue blocking the door. Same understaffed counters. I can’t figure how they manage to have some really pleasant people working in such a crappy place. Must be something in the coffee.


  16. Scurrilous says:

    I used to work in midland, caught the train into that station everyday for two years and had to walk right past these two sites (sights!). Eventually I became morbidly depressed and had to quit my job.


  17. You weren’t the one screaming “Listen C*nt!” there a couple of weeks ago were you?


  18. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    I used to work in Licensing flynn. The counter staff wear out pretty quickly. About a year on average.


  19. Big Texan says:

    And I thought Midland was just a sh*t hole city in Texas… turns out it’s a global brand.


  20. leonard says:

    “Jack Sue
    WA Skindivers
    Adult store”

    It dosn’t get any more Perth than that.


  21. yasmin bordello says:

    I am very impressed with the size and stature of this clock. Every time is a good time in a station that values punctuality. I used to live 50 metres from a train station where I could only approximate the hour of day from station announcements detailing how late the scheduled trains were.


  22. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    Better still, leonard, the Helena Centre actually contains two adult stores and a Langtrees, creating possibly the most compact red light district in the Western world, and yet offering a full range of both two and three dimensional stimulation.


  23. Livewire says:

    Ah, the Helena centre, many happy childhood memories for me. My grandparents used to have a shop there…
    …selling curtains.

    As I recall there was only one adult shop then, and (pre-legalisation) a ‘massage’ place upstairs.


  24. Russell says:

    It’s stupid to say you’re afraid to walk in that area. Midland isn’t bad, and a whole range of people use the station at all different times.
    I’d be frightened in Kwinana or Rockingham.


  25. caide says:

    Russel knows the score. Midland ain’t that bad, it’s a commercial center so during the working day it’s suits and bank staff. Even some trendy cafe’s popping up. Having said that, I wouldn’t like to live there, or drop by at night.


  26. Beyond the station area there has been a lot of work. Almost civilised during the day. The block from the station to the to the far side of Centrepoint is horrible, run down and yes scary even during the day. Not many suits. This is the area I’m talking about.


  27. caide says:

    I’ll have to go out of my way to find out what you are talking about, LA. A bit off topic, but what is Guildford like? It’s pretty leafy, near the Grammar school. Some nice spots.


  28. Dukes says:

    Before I moved to Perth, I stayed in midland/guildford. It was hard to sleep with all the speeding police cars with their sirens blearing and the paranoia of having my Torana pinched.


  29. The Intellectual Bogan says:

    Guildford suffers from being on the main drag between Bassendean and Midland, however leafy and pleasant it may be in itself. Hence all the law enforcement traffic noted by Dukes.

    And I think the Stirling influence has been adequately covered elsewhere.


  30. I have my suspicions that a closer look at Guildgord Grammar will reveal some good worst. The 1973 wine label as well as The ‘Ling Pub are things already covered from Guildford.


  31. caide says:

    “Guildgord Grammar” – The Lazy Aussie

    sounds bad enough!


  32. The traditional spelling, I think you’ll find.


  33. cimbali says:

    Between Midland and Bassendean!?!?!?
    TIB I have never yet heard of Bassendean being the endpoint (or starting point) of any journey. Even during the nearly twenty years I lived there we were always merely passing through.
    Bassendean or West Guildford as it likes to think of itself, is just a blip on the journey from Midland Gate to the Galleria.
    Guildford is a prettier, older and far more pleasant blip on the same journey with the added advantage of being directly under the Airport flight path
    Ahh Basso, bless its little fediterranean heart, there are far too few mentions of it in these pages.


  34. David Cohen says:

    There is nothing in Guildford to merit the attention of this blog. We are very gracious, genteel and left (we always vote left in elections, acc. to polling booth results from the church and town hall). There is one part of the suburb under the flight path, alas. But not the respectable part.


  35. Scurrilous says:

    The Bassendean Hotel could really do with make over (or an outing on TWOP). In spite of it being heritage listed, the current owners were allowed to add a limestone and steelwire struture to the veranda. It is now so popular it generally closes before 9pm on a week night. The kareoke goes on a bit longer on a Friday.


  36. cimbali says:

    David you talk as if having nothing to merit the attention of this blog is a good thing! It sound like the village of the dammed.
    Guildford is a lovely place and we once tried to buy a house there but every time we got out of the car the estate agents voice was drowned out by the noise of jet engines, the train or trucks on the main road.
    It certainly is not a large enough suburb for much of it to escape from under the flight path except the bit which trying to pretend it is not West Midland.
    I would count it as an honour to be singled out by TWOP – you are clearly not trying hard enough to join in.


  37. Frank Calabrese says:

    [It certainly is not a large enough suburb for much of it to escape from under the flight path except the bit which trying to pretend it is not West Midland.]

    And when Harper Park used to be nothing but Netball Courts where my Sister and my cousin played, as well as a young Lillijana Ravlich :-)


  38. David Cohen says:

    we saw you coming cimbali. you didn’t look like picket fence-type people. also our operatives doubted whether after five years in the village you’d be able to speak with that special lockjaw accent people develop here. you were deemed Unsuitable. and agents were instructed to not sell to you.


  39. cimbali says:

    I think you will find that karaoke always goes on a bit longer Scurrilous.
    ps. the limestone and wire was the makeover


  40. cimbali says:

    you are so right David, we proved to be Basso bogans through and through. Although we had our own little bit of Guildford – tuck pointed, bull nosed and picket fenced, on the wrong side of the river. We could see the planes flying past the from the end of our street and could only dream that we could hear them.


  41. Brett says:

    Venturing into this place after 7pm means certain death.


  42. caide says:

    Well luckily I haven’t found myself at Midland after 7pm. Although, the Midland train line after dark (considering useless daylight savings) is hit and miss. Sometimes it’s fine, sometimes it makes me scared. Take it as it is.


  43. caide says:

    Shameless plug ahead…

    Anyone interested in Transperth? How good it is? How bad it is?



  44. lactatingbookworm says:

    Oh my god it’s still there!!!


  45. freddo says:

    I can’t believe what people think of Midland, I lived there until I was 23 and I used to walk from the train station at night all the way home, it is not scary, not terrifying and very tame to say the least.

    And I am sure that the train station will be redeveloped very soon.

    Do you bag all of the other suburbs or just the working class ones?

    Also Guildford is nice, but not as nice as Darlington.


  46. Rolly says:

    Hey, Freddo,

    Go over some of the previous posts and comments and you’ll find that bagging is perpetrated with considerable zeal and without fear or favour to any suburb, location, property or personage whatsoever.
    Anything and anyone is fair game here.
    That’s despite the obvious left leanings of some of the commentators.
    There are others (ahem) who just love playing the “devil’s advocate” and will take an opposing viewpoint just for the hell of it :D


  47. freddo says:

    Thanks Rolly,

    I understand now.


We can handle the worst

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s