Alannah’s Up!

Alannah’s running in Perth, my electorate! It’s great news. I couldn’t stand that prick Smith. Surely Alannah can defeat Darryl Moore, who lives in fucking Dalkeith! I haven’t met him myself, but I have heard a a journalist (not Outrage) describe him as “One of nature’s genuine idiots.” I hope I get the doorknock visit from Ms Mactiernan. Every time I see Alannah somewhere, she has a “Where do I know that cunt from?” look on her face as below. Much as Tim Winton on the opening nights of his plays.alannah

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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78 Responses to Alannah’s Up!

  1. PeteF says:

    Where do I know that cunt from, is he the guy behind the bar or the guy who always knows where the drinks are at?


  2. skink says:

    I saw a profile of Darryl Moore that said he retired from his job in Oil and Gas to ‘manage his family’s property portfolio’

    so I did think his campaign slogan should be: ‘Darryl has Moore houses than you.’


  3. Bento says:

    We’re going from one of the best-maintained coiffures of the House, to one of the most egregious examples of the self-administered haircut since the Bayeux Tapestry. Truly new politics.


  4. skink says:

    that link to Darryl Moore’s profile shows several photos of Darryl talking to the general public on Mount Lawley station. I am amazed he found four passengers to talk to.
    Photo 11 shows him assessing the extent of the graffiti problem in Mount Lawley, and photo 5 shows him immediately reporting the problem to the police. Get medieval on the little fuckers, Darryl.


  5. My Ning says:

    Dazza dropped by my house and we had a word. He’s pretty easy to stop in his tracks. For example, I obesrved that John Howard was mean spirited. “Have you met him?” he asked. “I don’t have to – Iraq.” He had no comeback for that one, not a single quick anecdote that he could throw at me about how Howard had a heart of something or a sweet streak of any description. Certainly no quick justification of Howard’s lies and deception rolled from his lips.

    Then he tried to pass off Labor as scandal prone. So was the Howard Coalition, I replied. “When?” he asked. “AWB!” Once again he stoppped dead in his tracks. Then I asked him if, as a petroleum engineer, he supported the PRRT. Yes he did. So why was he so anti-mining tax? “Errr, because there was consultation before the PRRT was implemented.” But Dazz, there WAS consultation for the mining tax – just ask BHP, Rio and Xstrata. Once again, not much argument there.

    He didn’t see living in Dalkeith as an issue – he would push the interests of the people of Perth no matter what. He even claimed that when people voted for their local member, it didn’t necessarily mean they were voting for their local member’s boss. In other words, we don’t have to like the unpopular Abbott to give Dazza our vote … for some reason, the two are separable. Personally, I find this somewhat strange logic for a man of science. Unsurprisingly, at one point, he even tried to push the stop-the-boats line, but that really went nowhere – I wasn’t having a bar of that recycled Liberal racist crap.

    Another interesting thing about this meeting of unlike minds was the fact he acknowledged that Stephen Smith was one of the the ALP’s better performances. So why should people vote for him when the incumbant candidate had a reasonable track record? Again, no substantive answer, except the ALP was bad and they must be punished.

    About a month later we got a mailout from the man, in which he asked the voters of Perth to identify the issues that were important to them. Obviously he doesn’t know them himself, probably because he lives in another seat and has worked for the likes of Woodside, a company that really is off this planet.

    Ultimately, the impression I got was that the Libs had dredged up someone who could convincingly be an extra in a movie about the Third Reich (therefore looking the part) and were now hoping that, because he went to uni, he would be intellectually deft enough to walk through an election that they were assuming was already won.

    Whether he has the ability to do this is in doubt. In some ways it was like talking to an unsavvy 20 year old making a run for guild president at a TAFE college. Vacuous is a word that comes to mind; gullible is another; niave also resonates.

    I know where my vote is going ….


  6. Misspent yoof says:

    Moore is definitely a xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, from personal experience.
    I haven’t seen him for years but didn’t know he’d been dredged up as a candidate for the Libs. Good luck with that. Stephen Smith seemed one of the more honourable Labor ministers, one of the few with a moral compass when most of the others only gave a fuck about themselves and their factional supporters. Sorry to see him go.
    It will be interesting to see if Alannah’s nutty individuality survives the Labor media training – if she makes it to Canberra. I hope so.


  7. PeteF says:

    Does the prospective member have any cats? I hope so. Shame a party leader from the West is so unlikely for the next decade, I’d like to see AM on the world stage alongside some of the nattier leaders.


    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      She certainly would stand out or at least her hair.Things as ever are more nuanced LA.Her good eye, the left one , says “what the fuck you looking at , I’ll take you on” while her right eye says ” if you were important I’d remember who you were,but as I don’t give a fuck ,meh”. More srsly, as Defence Minister , on Australia day , she’d fly a F-22 Raptor over Perth performing a few barrel rolls, some loop de loops , before lifting the nose up , firing up the CSIRO trademarked ramjets, and heading to the Timor Sea, dropping a Barnes Wallis warning device at the reffo boats and a few warning shots making the entire reffo fleet head back to the Indons. A couple of low passes over the Merdeka palace would set Yudiono on his arse, then back to Canberra in time for a long lunch followed by a session on Q&A, There would be a stellar cast on Q&A : Bunbury Joist , Sophie MirrorBelladonna,Anne Summers and some escapee from the forensic ward of Graylands to add some sanity.


  8. Misspent_yoof says:

    She might use one as a novelty port decanter.
    You’d have to clean the seamen out first.


  9. skink says:

    time to put your money where your mouth is:


  10. skink says:

    Lannie was on the radio this lunchtime with She-ra, and Scaffidi endorsed Lannie as ‘the best woman for the job’.

    I’d have thought She-ra was a rampant crony capitalist, but I guess she’d rather work with Lannie than with that halfwit Tory-boy.


  11. Shazza says:

    So let me understand this, Moore reckons having a job in Australia was a way to “discover the harsh realities of the world”? I couldn’t read any further, what a privileged twat.

    Go Lannie and Lannie’s hair.


  12. skink says:

    I took my kids to the cinema and there was a political advert for Darryl Moore before the movie.

    ‘standing for a better deal from Canberra and stronger border security.’

    what a twat.


  13. PeteF says:

    I predict a new hairstyle – teh Lannie Look – a mix of bedhead and spray. Up till now, the lassies have been restricted to the weather/news girl look, or the Jennifer (Anniston). Based on what I saw driving through town and subi just now the Lannie Look is taking off.


  14. keatster says:

    today’s morgan poll would see darryl safely in dalkeith.


  15. Bento says:

    And the Australian Donald Trump Show has announced his team. I’m trying to think what music I would use for the montage where this motley assortment of clowns prepares for the election.


  16. Lucy Jr says:

    I want to move to Perth. My electorate owns a Jensen. Glossy at elections, but stalls on environment and over-heats on nuclear.


  17. skink says:

    I just got a flyer from the Liberal Party in my mailbox
    ‘we will stop the boats.’
    that’s it.
    They are running on one issue.
    no mention of the candidate’s name
    Darryl Moore hasn’t even got the kahunas to put his name on it
    despicable cunt


  18. Rolly says:

    The Mad Abbott on the 7.30 ABC programme used a previously rehearsed reply for at least half a dozen different questions that were put to him.
    I think that his speechwriter may have taken the day off.


  19. Polls suggesting Alannah will flog the Dunce from Dalkeith.


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