The Worst of Perth can reveal Swallow – aka Madkuntz, aka Knobgoblins, aka Spitz – will open Sunday, July 1 (which is also Canada Day).
How did we get this world scoop? We called Zoe and identified ourselves as a TWOP reporter.
“We don’t have a date yet,” Zoe said. “Soon we’ll start on our final inspections and it depends on what they say.”
“They” are the council, Racing Gaming & Liquor, and the Health Department: “They are pretty happy with the progress,” Zoe said.
But Zoe did mention July 1 as a possibility. We said we couldn’t wait. “We can’t wait either,” Zoe said.
Swallow needs workers: “We are still definitely putting it out there,” Zoe said – and then asked if TWOP was interested.
At this point our minds flashed back to 1989, to the restaurant on a Thames barge we worked at for three weeks to finance a trip to France. A typical moment was serving wine, and realising the end of the tie had fallen into one of the glasses. We just took it out and served the drinks.
We assured Zoe we were not the people she needed – but we would spread the word. Finally, what hints could she give us about the Swallow cocktail selection or wine menu?
“We won’t have a huge selection of cocktails,” Zoe said. “The lists will move a lot. The wine list and the food menu will change quite often.”
Save the date.
The Worst of Perth 
Alannah rhymes with profit
my mate
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Warm, capable and mature? We most certainly are not the people she needs.
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but we do have a real interest in wine
my local bottlo now sells wine in single-serve goon bags, which I think is classy as.
Add a straw and I think that might be this bar’s signature beverage.
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Wonder if Howling Wolves will make the cut?
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Pics show prints of major lezzo painter behind bar. Isn’t rug munching conflicting with the knob goblin motif?
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“Mature people”, ie. those who will not spend an entire shift sniggering at the word “Swallow”.
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any self-respecting establishment with a penchant for hard drinking should include a Negroni on their cocktail list
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Slow down there fella! The only just narrowly avoided hiring a Jew.
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It’s a tight labour market already.
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Together , united , the people of Maylands will always be the drunkards. From Kathleen St up Eight Ave , through Stone St to the up market section near the old police academy , plonkos have been wandering direction-less. Now they can hobknob with third rate celebs any night at Hobgoblins.Frinstance on trad jazz night Troy ‘The Buz” might pop in, and then next night at the poet’s corner Lannie McT herself. Wow.
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To give it that real touch of class it should be opened by Craig Thompson.
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Did see Sniffer at Dinglewood NIGA recently, board shorts an’ all, so appearance at Knobgobblers wouldn’t surprise me.
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Christening a child Zoe almost certainly ensures they will end up in hospitality.
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Really? Zoe Saldana? Zoe Goss? Zoe of Rome? Can we include Zooey Deschanel?
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it entirely depends on whether they are pretentious enough to insist on the diaeresis
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Is that what it’s called? I was thinking “umlaut”?
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LOL Rottobloggo, are by any chance a Taxi Driver or a Bus Driver?
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Are you looking at me, TL101?
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Sigma driver. Even worse.
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Yes indeed , he moonlights as Cowpat Sorty.
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What chance a decent Bloody Mary making their cocktail list? OK, yes, I know that technically the Bloody Mary is not a cocktail, but if it’s good enough for Mad Men then bring it on. Has anyone ever been served a decent Bloody Mary in Perth? Not me, bah humbug.
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I ordered one at the Queens once. The barman said “I’m no good at those”, and proceeded to hand me a glass with ice & vodka, a small bottle of tomato juice, a bottle of tabasco (no Worcestershire), and a pepper shaker. And then fucking charged me full whack.
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Bloody Mary not techincally a cocktail? Au contraire.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Mary_(cocktail)
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Excuse me but a Bloody Mary is breakfast
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Breakfast of Champions.
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Curtains up at Swallow, a source just told me. Zoe missed July 1 but perhaps not much longer??
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Do the curtains match the carpet?
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I went past this morn and still paper.
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They didn’t mean June THIS year.
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