Jaydyn Jaxxon was enraged by faux brick on Vincent. Tim D was confused by faux wood in Subiaco. I wonder what the Manhattes barkeep would make of these materials. These are the stuff of Perth. Maybe throw in some mini-orb and some salmon brick.  He was bemused by normal colourbond. Any fake brick down Hudson River way BSWAM?

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
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32 Responses to Faux

  1. NF#1 says:

    I met my love by the colourbond wall
    Dreamed a dream of a brick paved mall
    Kissed a girl by the faux wood wall
    Phony old town
    Phony old town


    • Falun Bong says:

      The Fauxgues make me want to hang myself, I can only handle listening to them for no more than 7 or 8 hours a stint.


  2. Bartenders Skills with a Manhatten says:

    Fake Brick in the HRV? Hell yes–Port Ewen is coated with it.

    Speaking of which delightful spot, I regret to inform you that Lindy’s Diner, of Port Ewen, is no more. A grassy lot is all that remains.

    Halcyon Hall, on the other hand, is still standing.

    Well, slouching.


    • Port Ewen sounds like it needs a colourbond revolution.


      • Bartender's Skills with a Manhatten says:

        You mean the steel pretend wood fence? That we do not have, not even in Port Ewen. Hell, not even in Middletown, where they could probably benefit by it.


      • Bartender's Skills with a Manhatten says:

        If this isn’t the most idiotic thing I’ve read in a long time not something to do with Mitt Romney.

        The hotel is in clear view of a string of houses on the other side of the road and abuts a condo development. Not exactly the middle of nowhere or at least not any more so than Millbrook itself is.

        “What sordid things went on here???” I imagine bitching about grades, hand-rolled cigarettes, the odd bit of sexual fumbling, pretty much like any other school. My blood runs cold at the thought of all those bong hits.

        It is not about to be demolished any day unless the town magicially finds the money to do the job. Places they could look: under the sofa cusions, in the glove compartment, somewhere in the 200-year old 80-room mansion next door. The last might actually be a likely place but I’m pretty sure there’d be a bit of a tussle involved.


    • orbea says:

      BSWAM – how does one travel to the Hudson Valley from Manhattan? Trains or should I hire a car?


      • Surely it would be difficult to stop and buy old blacksmithing tools or rusted advertising signs by train.


      • Bartender's Skills with a Manhatten says:

        The train is fine if you plan on exploring places like Cold Spring or Beacon; a car is necessary for other locations. The train ride itself is beautiful, so there’s that to consider.


  3. Bento says:

    A label kind of defeats the purpose of faux anything, doesn’t it?


  4. valerie woodruffe says:

    very elegant shame they are not diamonds though …


  5. janezee says:

    Where do we stand on the giant rabbits?


  6. Hendrikson says:

    I know it’s not original content but this is certainly worst-worthy. An instaworst, really. http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/wa/13889122/bunnies-to-brighten-buildings/

    Also, it would be really cool if you could publisie this, if it fits. http://www.facebook.com/betterwaterfront



    • Bento says:

      I confess I was skeptical about the benefits of another waterfront plan, but then I saw that you were offering $1000, and I’m now confident this Facebook campaign will draw the cream of urban design talent.

      Perhaps we could build the Aboriginal Cultural Centre out of the various waterfront plans rejected since the Swan River Colony was established.


    • vjzookat says:

      Indeed, Hendrikson. We eagerly await your suggestions on how to improve our design :P


  7. skink says:

    what about Faux Policemen?


  8. skink says:

    breaking news…

    tornado rips through Morley and does millions of dollars of improvements


  9. The Legend 101 says:

    Where so lucky our house was not hit!


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