Free bags

Can I suggest that Tupac would have been glad that he was shot dead if he could have seen the free bag that he has become in Bayswater. What debasement is left for the rap star. Perhaps his corpse could be raped by Tone Loc. In Morley.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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10 Responses to Free bags

  1. Is this thing working? Tupac, what can I say?

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  2. My Ning says:

    The secret diary of Mark McGowan (aged almost 45 years old)

    It was timely that the Bayswater Tupac bag was sighted around the time that I launched my tough new anti-crime policy for, as we all know, poor old Tupac was a victim of crime. Given this, I’m sure he would have been sympathetic to my efforts to reduce crime (that is, of course, if I win the next election).

    My tough stance on all things criminal will be hailed as a victory by rappers around the globe, meaning my vote amongst the Rockingham and Kwinana hoodlams is almost guaranteed. The outlawing of people carrying Swiss army knives is a case in point. These instruments of evil have had their day in the sun for too long – the breadth and depth of the havoc they have caused are practically impossible to describe in these journal pages.

    But it was my party registration idea that will really score points amongst the youth. If there’s one thing I learnt during my days in the navy it’s that surburban parties involving beer swilling yobbos and profanity laden slappers take weeks to arrange. I also learnt during my long hours on the high seas that these young tatooed (and sometimes shirtless) bogans enjoy paperwork – particularly when it involves going down to the local constabulary and filling out a few forms. I suspect that the party in Girrawheen on Saturday night would have been more orderly if the owner of the premises had taken the time to fill out the appropriate documentation, regardless of how much piss and drugs were consumed on site during the night.

    Under a McGowan Labor Government the days of spontaneous partying will be over. Kegs will have to be ordered weeks – no, maybe months – in advance so their planned consumption can go down on a state-wide registry. And if people want to snort some speed at the shindig of their choice, they too will have to put their orders in much earlier in order to comply with this revolutionary new legislative framework. Same goes for sheep on spits. This last part will no doubt get me the butchers’ vote.

    As for gatecrashers, they can no longer relay on social media – they too will have to plan ahead.

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  3. My Ning says:

    Not on Planet McGowan

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  4. Russell Woolfe's Lovechild says:

    In a city paved with bad brick paving, that is bad brick paving.

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We can handle the worst

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