Signed Nospellyngleft

Another battle of the Titans here with a spelling deficient and also letterform, grammar and logic deficient note poster, versus number plate and car buying dumbarsery. Reminds me of the battle between Barra and Glen Jakovich. Wouldn’t a simple keying have been sufficient? By S. William Street central city.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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66 Responses to Signed Nospellyngleft

  1. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Pride and joy now shamed, tho feeble page
    Can scarcely take the shine off urban beast,
    Smothering not its dull complicit rage
    At petty economics in the least.

    Driving at certain penury invites disdain;
    Fellow city denizen’s contemptuous envy
    Duller advantage seeks, and though they twain
    Attempts to scythe the self-conflicted poppy.

    Neither knows the noble joys of grammar,
    Shared disesteem of right unites the two,
    Both party to an abrogative manner,
    Neither can stand tall and less so true.

    Alas the world turns, nothing stays the same:
    Yet need sticklers exchange gravity for game?


  2. The Legend 101 says:

    Its even got a note LOL.


  3. perthluckystar says:

    Looks like kids writing on the note, but I could be wrong. Of course there’s no money left. Not after having to fix that ba$tard every couple of weeks when it breaks down and with the exorbitant cost of servicing.


    • skink says:

      the pre-cursive font is indeed very similar to the stupid stuff they are currently teaching my children.

      you can see where this young person is unsure whether to printing or use joined-up writing

      this site really should investigate the handwriting that is taught in WA schools, which uses a typeface which I believe is entirely unique to this great state of ours, and a Worst in its own right.

      I insist. I am most indignant.


    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Just teach the kids to write in comic sans and be done with it I say.


      • Bag O'Turnips says:

        It’s not just the poorly written note (yes, we learned that rubbish handwriting style at my Catholic primary school), nor the licence plate’s hideous textspeak (vanity plate is an entirely appropriate term, particularly when they can’t have it with the correct spelling), it is how the Department Of Transport have succumbed to the Arial virus with their polycarbonate personalised series plates.

        Time again calls for an outburst of my font fascism.

        When they originally surfaced in 1985, white with blue characters, good ol’ Helvetica was utilised, and continued to do so when the colour scheme was inverted around 1991. Circa 1994, a new serifed typeface (of which I’m struggling to name) was utilised, which continued when a whole new palette of colours was made available at the end of the 90s.

        However, about five years ago, some bright spark thought they’d revert to a sans serif font, but instead of returning to the most popular professional typeface of the last 40-or-so years (or even something else similarly legible but commercial-grade like Univers, rotis, Frutiger, Bell Gothic or even Gill Sans Ultra Fuck-Off), that ignoramus (or those ignorami) thought it suitable to put in amateur hour Arial, straight out of Windows Vista. Great. Easier to forge. Oh. Yes. Afterthought. We’d better put serifs on the “I”, so Karl’s Keystone Kops kan’t konfuse it with the karakter “1”, add a token bit of security (betcha your Windows Arial don’t got a topped-and-tailed “I”) and as an identifier for this syphilitic signwriter, as if to say “I WOZ ERE”, which is probably their payment in a personalised plate, possibly in purple or pink, complete with their own further reverse engineering on an already reverse engineered font.

        Combine this blatant ripoff with the tendency for vanity plate owners to not only put their insecurity on display, but delude themselves with delusions of kewl in their madd skilz in mixing alphas and numerics to form words (or worse, like using numerals to replace similar looking letters when the original name’s taken, such as “M4RIE”, “MAR1E,” “MARI3” or “M4R13” when “MARIE” has been long gone), you have an instant identifier of someone who is likely both a dickhead and a bogan.

        Or would that be a “D1KH34D” or a “8064N”?


  4. pete says:

    The license plate people screwed it up. It was supposed to say.

    No. Monylft.


  5. Pete says:

    TL101 – it is unethical to stage your own Worsts.


  6. orbea says:



  7. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Who spells “of” wrong but “piece” right? Looser.


  8. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    You’ll be able to buy a range of “NOMONYLFT” t-shirts in Bali next week, with illustrations of things such as Holdens, jet skis, and holidays in Bali. Bunnings shirts are sooo yesterday. And I’d like to hear a graphologist’s view on the handwriting.


    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Don’t worry, those stickers—in fucking Arial, as they tend to be—will surface in the holiday destination of choice for those with both meagre fiscal means and functional illiteracy.


  9. BrownBook says:

    The latest phallusy graffiti post is a bit down the list now, so I’d thought I’d share this here:
    Russia learning from Perth?


    • RubyRuby says:

      There seems to be too much thought given to that graffiti work for it to work as a Perth style one. I like that each culture embraces a similar idea yet makes it uniquely of a place…


  10. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Morm Nullborough’s lawyer Mary McKillop argued there was ambiguity about the question the former cabinet minister was answering in giving the evidence.


  11. anthr gr8 abrvtn of the langwg


  12. The Legend 101 says:

    A teacher a my old school complained that the writing in our handwriting textbook wasn’t proper Victorian Modern Cursive. For good sake its just letters.


    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      In time, you might develop your own style of handwriting, as I have (which in either case, resembles nothing like school-taught cursive).

      But then again, someone of your youth would most likely be more at ease with a QWERTY keyboard than a BiC or Faber Castel.

      Mind you, top marks if you do enjoy the art of writing…if you’ve noticed in previous posts, besides my unhealthy preoccupation with all matters automotive (I probably know more about cars than others have forgotten), I’m also known as something of a font snob who happens to like Helvetica (having unconsciously cultivated my handwritten print style back around 1989 on that particular font), Gill Sans, rotis and Microgramma and will shoot on sight at professional misuses of Comic Sans, Arial, Papyrus and Curlz MT.

      So say what you like, as long as it isn’t in Comic Sans. Or we’ll send you here.


  13. Bojelai says:

    More importantly, why does it still have a rego sticker on the windscreen?


    • Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

      Rego stickers are so 2009.

      Who set the exposure for the 1st photo – looks wrong, unless there was an alien spaceship landing at the time. Everyone looks pretty relaxed for an alien landing but you never know in Perth.


      • WAtching says:

        Dude? Exposure?


      • Bag O'Turnips says:


        They did persist as a fashion right up until January, believe it or not (there were optional 1/2011 stickers in green, and that was it).

        Still heaps of vehicles with fading and peeling brown ’10 stickers no doubt…my dear departed Pop wouldn’t have been pleased, for he expertly removed and applied rego stickers onto all the family’s vehicle windscreens and would’ve been at a loose end. Or moved to another state where they’re still used.


      • Bento says:

        I think Steve Jobs probably set the exposure.


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