Jesus Never Closes

By Shaun N, Maddington. Your move Farmer Jacks. Isn’t Jesus closed on Good Friday except in tourist areas? Bonus megapalm. Looks beyond Cocos to me. Majesty palm?

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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46 Responses to Jesus Never Closes

  1. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Cynical we must surely be
    Crap churches and attendant trees
    If you want to call them that
    Cocos or Jeheosephat…

    Like

  2. shazza says:

    That tinsel really adds to the ambience doesn’t it.

    Like

  3. perthluckystar says:

    That explains why he’s never around to turn water into wine when you want him.

    I think most people would rather head to Farmer Jacks for groceries. There’s more variety. With Jesus, all you get is bread and fish.

    Like

  4. 2bob says:

    But why walk half a k down the road to Jack’s when you can drop in on the big J anytime day or night? You can get yerself proselytised (with Mary maybe?) in relaxed, homely surroundings — Plus there’s no frills.

    Like

  5. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    OT: Not expecting any mention of Wintoning or TWOP, but RN Book Show discussing the possibility of a distinct WA literature – right now!

    Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Great to see another RN listener, getting their daily dose of Ramona Koval. I listen when I can; my faves are Late Night Live (say what you like about Phillip Adams, but his guests are almost always illuminating), The Daily Planet, PM, Awaye!, By Design, The National Interest, Into The Music and the programme before The Book Show, Life Matters with Richard Aedy, which is required listening when you work and study in human and community services.

      That station alone is worth the eight cents a day. RN is a national treasure.

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      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        Then again Turnips there’s Richard Aedy (I’m sure he’s lovely), sell-out Fran Kelly, that James Carlton fellow who seems to have little reason to exist other than to read out newspaper headlines, Amanda Smith from Artworks whose voice makes me want to hit things even more than Rachel Kohn’s, the patronizing and full-of-himself Michael Mackenzie from Bush Telegraph, and Australia Talks. Not holding my breath for the new Lonely Hearts Club show either. Speaking of which, I was thinking about starting a Natasha Mitchell fanclub but Natalia might get jealous.

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        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          Then again there’s the odious Counterpoint, offered as a sop to the Cultural Warriors, as an outlet for equally spurious Right-wingnut, Neo-Con and Neo-Lib cranks and contrarians, as hosted by Michael Duffy. Mind you, there’s the occasional libertarian who isn’t a headcase like many on the far-Right or the far-Left, but most guests are serial deniers, lobbyists, Wiberwal stooges and conspiracy hacks with a wealth of intellectual bankruptcy (there’s an oxymoron, folks).

          @ TLA: I also enjoy those programmes whenever I happen upon them…actually, it’s more a case of listing what I don’t like on RN: obviously Counterpoint, Bush Telegraph (strictly for the NIMBY hobby farmers), Garrison Keillor’s Radio Show (OK, OK, it’s a hokey American import, but it beats most other “entertainment” from Stateside) and…um, sometimes Christian Kerr, one of LNL’s Canberra correspondents (he’s a frustrating beast who occasionally can encapsulate a situation with incisive wit, but is too much wedded to his Wiberwal past and has, what I’d imagine, the voice of a cauliflower, if they could talk), but beyond that, I could listen to it all day. (And speaking of announcers voices, doesn’t Julie Rigg from Movie Time sound a little like ABC1’s Margaret Pomeranz? Did hear them together once and that was a bit confusing!)

          That’s unless I want a change of scenery and give my brain a rest by listening to some music.

          Like

          • Natalia Fan #1 says:

            I actually enjoy Counterpoint, Turnips, however much I disagree with the views expressed therein. I worked in the book trade years back – Duffy (publisher of He Dies With a Felafel in His Hand, believe it or not, together with several volumes of Les Murray) was often referred to as “Fluffy Duffy” – reformed left-winger Greenpeace activist or something. I guess no one’s saying that anymore. Other comments spot on, though I think Garrsion Keillor’s show better than you suggest :)

            Like

          • The Bartender's skills with a Manhatten says:

            Good Lord, you lot are inflicted with Garrison Keillor? My apologies for putting up with him and his Royal Milk Biscuits-levels-of-milquetoast inanities.

            Like

      • All in the mind I like. Background Briefing, Hindsight and The Night Air are all good.

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    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Have had a good listen to Book Show podcast last night. Interviewee Dennis Haskell mentions the usual suspects – Drewe, Gail Jones, Tim (referred to as such), but no Silvey thank Christ. WA literature apparently derives its distinct character through our proximity to Asia. I’m yet to be convinced Dennis – I thought we were far too parochial for that. He’s retiring soon, so I guess he can spout any guff he likes at this stage.

      Like

  6. Rolly says:

    Note the ramped curbing to assist those in smaller cars who are unable to competently navigate the corner; helping them to mount the footpath, all the better to eliminate all those pesky Mums with prams and the kids on bicycles.

    Like

  7. Bento says:

    Frank – what’s Ripper’s policy on deregulated Jesus hours? Anti, I assume? Or is he waiting to see what the polls indicate?

    Like

  8. shazza says:

    Do you think this is referring to Buff Jesus, or another one?

    Like

  9. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Let’s get rid of those cocos palms for a start: my folks have just lopped down 30—that’s right, 30…count ’em).

    There’ll be enough fronds to last month of Palm Sundays.

    Like

  10. The Legend 101 says:

    All shops are closed on good Friday its the day of Jesus.

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  11. The Legend 101 says:

    thankyou thats cool but there all shut in Perth and Bunbury.

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  12. Citizencains says:

    Heaven’s above!? Open on Sunday, I thought that was the day of rest. What were all those ‘Keep Sunday Special’ campaigns about?

    Like

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