You can’t take the cock out of Cockburn…

This is disgraceful. Have pride in your area man! If you do business in the land  of the burnt cock, then err, suck it up. It’s COCKBURN! COCK plus BURN! What part of cock and/or burn don’t you get? You’re in the City of COCK BURN, right on COCK BURN fucking  Sound. Who gave you the right to drop the cock?
Of course the owner’s name could be Coburn I suppose, but then shouldn’t it be Coburn’s Cockburn Caravans? From Pete F. Wait, this is Naval Base? Could I suggest Naval Base Caravans if you’re really that cock shy? Open Saturday? Don’t bother. TWOP readers won’t be buying Baravan one until the cock is back in the house. And is that Comic sans with a palm tree garnish? I’m not even going to look. Might make a nice T Shirt though, Clint Coburn’s Cockburn Caravans. What is nicest about this worst is that one, Pete F was in Naval Base, two, he had the perspicacity to notice the dropped cock, and three he actually stopped for a photo essay. Absolutely out fucking standing. Here’s a lesson for all those who see Tim Winton in the ladies’ toilet, and then claim (lie) that they didn’t have a camera. As Barra would say, “Toughen up Princess Jakovich”.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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31 Responses to You can’t take the cock out of Cockburn…

  1. skink says:

    are you calling me a liar?

    are you suggesting the missus and I should carry a camera whenever we visit a bathroom just in case we see Perth’s greatest living novelist curling one off?

    Perhaps Twop contributors could be issued with miner’s helmets fitted with webcams so that you never miss a thing

    Like

  2. WAtching says:

    What a week.

    Met the Guy who started Howling Wolves, got stalked by Barra, and now this.

    Clint? Why would you drop the Cock? Put the Cock back into Cockburn…

    Like

  3. rolly says:

    C’mon, TLA, a degenerate who would approve such a mutilation of a proud suburban appellation would never reach the rarified heights of Baravan retailing.
    Quality veteran and vintage? No way man!

    Like

  4. David cohen says:

    Fine images.

    A lot of copy, though: were you drunker than usual?

    Like

  5. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    I don’t see businesses in Upper Swan or Innaloo getting self-conscious over their suburbs’ names, so what’s up with Cockburners?

    Like

  6. vegan says:

    perhaps a case of ring burn?

    Like

  7. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Or a rather common case of “Sex On Fire”, finally realising what the lyrics of the song actually are discussing (i.e. herpes) and trying to conceal their condition?

    Like

  8. Pingback: LOLburn | The Worst of Perth

  9. meccano101 says:

    Is it just me or does the ‘O’ have a slight backdoor feel? like the anal animation you are confronted with when you turn on your apple computer.

    Like

  10. Andrea says:

    welll written,,,there are a 100 jokes we crack evrytime we passed cockburn…my english friend goes co-burn…we just shot him down!

    Like

  11. Busboy says:

    Fun fact: Cockburn is rendered phonetically as ‘cock-burn’ on the Japanese version of Google Maps. Would be interested to know whether that’s automated or human transliteration at work. Anyway, I’m happy about this because I have the misfortune to live in Cockburn–home of bogans by the sea.

    Like

  12. Anonymous says:

    The Surname derived from a Guy in Colchester Uk Mid 14th Century when they were starting to use Surnames. And this particular individual had a Burning Cock at the time of Census Entry. Hence the Reason Cockburn.
    Ramsbottom is another funky 1

    Like

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