Pimp my Stigma

Angiepangie saw this in Hobart Street North Perth. Under those slick modifications is it still possible to make out the shape of a Sigma, the journalist’s choice? There’s no way a journo could afford to live in North Perth. Reminds me of this apparently vanished worst.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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46 Responses to Pimp my Stigma

  1. David cohen says:

    Christ o mighty mate!
    See a shrink, wrap it up and
    Park it on page one.

    Like

  2. rolly says:

    We-e-ll, it beats the ‘go-faster’ stripes and twin overhead fox tails of my misspent youth.
    Prolly as a result of a bucks nite or summat.
    Not half as worst as actually getting married.

    Like

  3. Tone says:

    Sorry to complete screw your gag over, but it’s a Corolla. KE70 Corolla to be precise, judging by the shape of the front end it was made sometime between 1983 and 1985.

    Notwithstanding this, it’s still a worstworthy photo.

    Like

    • Shame. Journos can only dream of Corollas.

      Like

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Turnips by another name?

      Like

      • Bag O'Turnips says:

        No, alas. I have been doing nightshifts the last couple nights (as well as doing useful stuff out in the sunshine!), so was unable to visit TWOP.

        Quelle surprise, I too did identify that as a Corolla from 1984-85, as correctly identified by Tone (well done, doffs me turnip top to yer) before I got to read this blog entry.

        Perhaps it is being preserved for the benefit of a used car dealer, as this particular model—which was the last iteration of rear-wheel drive Corollas—was very highly regarded on the used car market until the early noughties, due to their easy maintenance and long life…in fact, they did command a far better resale than the successive front-driven model from 1985-1988.

        Like

  4. skink says:

    I am impressed by the carboard exhaust and the bonnet scoop made from a Wheeties packet

    but it needs some lime green highlights to really set it off

    Like

  5. 13th Oyster says:

    Corawler seconded.

    Like

  6. Bento says:

    Another sucker that fell for the ‘paint protection’ car dealer scam. The technology was clearly a little more basic in the mid 80s.

    Like

  7. orbea says:

    Germaine Greer uses words and sentences to write opinion piece.
    Fuck I laughed. Germaine is still hot!

    Like

    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      Almost faultless. I would only quibble with the statement “In any grown-up country her opponent, Tony Abbott would have been unelectable.” Abbott would be elect-able in Ireland or Italy , but whether you call either of those ” grown-up” is another thing.

      Like

    • Search the Web on Snap.com says:

      that’s gold. I hadn’t heard the ‘Haystack Amigos’ crack
      if they push out the GG with that stuff about conflict, then there is a ready replacement

      Like

    • shazza says:

      Yes she is.

      Like

      • ronggly says:

        Back in 2002, on Tony Blair: Referring to Cherie Blair’s latest pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage, she said: “I want to say to him ‘Leave her alone, for Christ’s sake.’
        “She’s 47 years old, she doesn’t practise contraception because she’s a Catholic – stay off her, it’s pretty simple. What are you going to do, wait till she dies?
        “I find this government hilarious in the sense that the top honcho appears always with his wife as a pledge of his heterosexual activity. We’ve had enough of those pledges, you can leave her at home. In fact, she’s got an important job to do, I just wish she’d bloody well go off and do it for a change.”

        And she likened the way the Labour Party treated wives to the behaviour of a band of gorillas led by a dominant silverback male.

        “Everybody else appears without his consort because they’re all junior males and we’ve only got one silverback.

        “John Prescott used to be allowed to produce his wife but you’ll notice that she hasn’t been paraded for a long time so we don’t want to know about his heterosexuality, he’s been relegated to junior status.

        “Then we’ve got all the men who are still living with their mothers and will probably never marry who are very useful acolytes in the train of the silverback. The sexual politics of the Labour Party always were Neanderthal and they still are. At least the Tories are just straightforward, sexually perverse and corrupt.”

        Like

  8. B.T. says:

    It’s a Sigma wanna be.

    Like

  9. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    One can only applaud the achievement of this suburban Christo. I am moved by this piece that draws out the inner form of the early ’80s Corolla, its time and place. It challenges the viewer to ask – is this all there is?

    Coming so soon after that Rockingham Greco-Bogan masterpiece I will soon be able to abandon Sunday Arts on the ABC and rely solely on TWOP for my cultural nourishment of my existence here on the edge of the desert. Bravo.

    Like

  10. greggo says:

    It’s an curtin fine art student christo wrap that’s for sure. But look at what has been wrapped: not the orginal neutral toyota object but one willfully transformed by the wrapper (who calls himself an artist these days) into an object of boggery – fake spoiler, scoop, it’s not the meat it’s the motion exhaust. Then wrap it, fix it like a nasty poisonous insect, to ward off the horror of cultural contamination of course. That’s because North Perth is finished. You have to invent your own entertainement there. Don’t blame it on the noir-seeking backpackers and don’t get me wrong, it’s infinitely preferable to the capitalist wastes of West Perth and the hippy home-birthing swamp of East Perth. The only real threat is to the North, the haute bourgeois of Wembley, the new rich Alan Bond sunset beach fantasies of City Beach. The fate of North Perth is best appreciated at the Kingston Av end, which hangs like an unfinished flyover over a mass of interchanges which will one day become the WA Football 15 Feet of Pure White Snow Freeway. That won’t redeem it either, nor the stupid beached whale I used to go out with who lived there. But it’s about cars, at least you got that right.

    Like

  11. alexei gregorov says:

    Arseholes. It’s not a Corolla, nor is it a Sigma. It’s a 1984 Corona. And I should know because it’s my f****** car. No, I wasn’t engaged in some sad pathetic attempt to “pimp” it with bubble wrap, bits of cardboard or anything else for that matter. It was a “mate’s” idea of a practical joke. Along with stuffing a dead magpie into my letterbox this “mate” of mine thought it was all pretty hilarious. Yeah, running nearly an hour late for work as a result of this misguided attempt at humour was really hilarious.

    Like

    • Dead magpie? A call of “Dude!” just wouldn’t be enough under those circumstances. Did he actually kill the magpie for the jape or was it a found object?

      Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Keep it under cling wrap! There are indeed people left who would indeed desire one of these Corollas in good nick. Alexei, if you have indeed peeled it off, I suggest that you go to your local supermarket and purchase a caterer’s pack of Glad Wrap post haste and wrap it up again when you’re not driving it…it will be worth it in the end!

      As for Sigmas—or Cortinas for that matter, well they can go to buggery. Let them rot under the elements! That is if you can still find one of either traversing teh streets of Perth. Or even disintegrating by tinworm on someone’s registered front lawn.

      Like

      • He’s saying it’s not a Corolla. Tis a Corona.

        Like

        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          That chap may be the owner of that car—of which both Tone and I agree is indeed a KE70 Corolla—is either not 100% au fait with his Toyota (hardly a surprise amongst Toyota owners, of both old and new models: bet you many who own Aurions would say that they drive a Camry), or that they are hiding behind the cling film, hoping that they could pass it off as a ST141 Corona, which is similarly boxy in silhouette, but the front has a peak and the taillights slant down towards the bumper.

          I should know: I had the misfortune of owning one for about 18 months a decade ago, given to me by a family member who took pity on my tired old VH Commodore. They shouldn’t have bothered: it was a complete nail, with the dream combo of the 2S-C two-litre SOHC motor with a three-speed auto…s-l-o-www. And that’s when it worked. More often than not, it would break down, making a mockery of the reputation of legendary reliability, despite their dull dynamics—it made my Mk II Escort 2.0 GL van seem utterly dependable, to which that was a car I had learned to tune regularly myself, as well as rebuild the carby and replace clutch cables every 12 months.

          He should stop fooling himself and just see the badge on his bootlid to put him right, and if that is missing, pop the bonnet (which you don’t have to do too often in a Corolla, whereas that was a natural state for the car that swapped two Ls for an N) and see the compliance plate, which will surely state that it will be a Corolla KE70, built for Toyota by Australian Motor Industries (AMI).

          If I had half a brain, I’d have advertised my shitbox as a Corolla, after judicious removal of the badges…like I said, many Toyota drivers wouldn’t have known the difference!

          Like

          • Whoa. You’re telling the guy he doesn’t know what car he owns? That’s worse than the joke Bara told about the Irish Glen Jakovich who was going to be the first man on the sun by landing at night.

            Like

            • Bag O'Turnips says:

              I know it’s hard to conceive, but it may well be very likely that this Toyota driver has misidentified his conveyance.

              Many owners of that marque see cars strictly as an appliance, ergo why most Echos/Yarises, Corollas and Camrys are white, thus dubbed (not entirely unfairly) as whitegoods on wheels. Generally as reliable as said appliances, but about as inspiring to. To those drivers, as long as it’s a Toyota, that’s all that matters, often not being able to discern approximately what type of car they have (it’s happened to me a number of times over the years, where I’ve had to correct them about the model of Toyota they own and drive!)

              Do not mock my ability as a carspotter!

              Like

          • Natalia Fan #1 says:

            I wish I had an interest such that if I wanked on about it at length here I wouldn’t be castigated for being the wanker that I am. Self-directed criticism Turnips – your eloquent posts are always a joy to read.

            Like

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      I distantly though increasingly distinctly suspect that someone’s having a lend here – what do you think Alexei?

      Like

  12. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Anodyne motor
    Transport favoured by grannies
    Much prized Corolla

    Like

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