Beds Eleven

“My God! What have I done?” – Master bedmaker.
Marble backing. Nice. From Cobbler. Another from Osborne Park.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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34 Responses to Beds Eleven

  1. shazza says:

    Can we get a close up of the price TLA? I just got to know what someone thinks this is worth.
    Well spotted cobbler.


  2. skink says:

    what’s wrong with this?

    the reproduction onyx is the crowning touch

    what woman could fail to get moist in the gusset when presented with that bunch of long-stemmed silk roses, fed the finest Belgan chocolates, and led to this magnificent swan bed with matching side tables?

    it’s classy

    I can picture Bree lounging across it seductively shoving something.


  3. Cobbler says:

    I seem to remember it was $1395.


  4. rolly says:

    It would be the perfect frame for a water bed, what, with all those wavy swirls and things.
    Add fancy lighting effects, and seaside sounds and you could think that you’re making love in a canoe.


  5. rolly says:

    ……or drinking Heineken.


  6. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    White furniture … never a winner.


  7. Cobbler says:

    The headboard looks like stop frame animation of a swan dying.


  8. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    The bed reminds me of this little Mallarmé ditty, in which a swan attempts to free itself from a frozen lake:

    A swan of old remembers that it is he,
    Superb but helpless, for he would not sing
    Of regions where life still was beckoning
    When winter spread its sterile, cold ennui.

    I expect I should have adapted this, but no time today.


    • Snuff says:

      Which reminds me of this, NF#1.


    • ronggly says:

      Your verse reminds me of another, the Roast Swan, from the Carmina Burana

      Once I lived on lakes,
      once I looked beautiful
      when I was a swan.

      Misery me!
      Now black
      and roasting fiercely!

      The servant is turning me on the spit;
      I am burning fiercely on the pyre:
      the steward now serves me up.

      Now I lie on a plate,
      and cannot fly anymore,
      I see bared teeth


  9. J Bar says:

    It’s classic furniture.


  10. rolly says:

    Last comment (by NF#1) at 4.23pm and it’s now 10.25pm.
    Everyone asleep?
    Or just the moderator?
    Good night.


  11. Shreiking Wombat says:



  12. hectic says:

    champagne furniture


  13. The Legend 101 says:

    Even the hotels don’t enough beds and why don’t they just put beds on the street for all the homeless people.


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