Lyin’ Zion

Thanks to the design and The Worst of Perth fans who came to Kulcha last night for my talk to the Australian Graphic Design Association. Good night. This was in the gents. Nuff said.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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51 Responses to Lyin’ Zion

  1. Snuff says:

    I didn’t think this could end well.

    Like

  2. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Couldn’t go last night, was required at work to do the graveyard shift. Oh well. Hope all and sundry had a fine ol’ time.

    Been busy for the last few days, ergo my absence. Should now be back with some vigour!

    Like

  3. Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

    taxidermy alert

    Like

  4. smack says:

    Great talk last night, thanks very much.
    So much amazing design out there.
    Where can I get a copy of Gill Sans Ultra Fuck-off?

    Like

  5. orbea says:

    At last intelligent design is proven.

    Like

  6. This could have made a nice inseminators poster.
    Will be doing the finalists on the weekend.

    Like

  7. vegan says:

    ot, but the cookster has a good rant over at the wangle on the fowf stickers:
    http://www.wangle.com.au/rantrave/small-minded-nuff-nuffs

    Like

  8. Dinkum, I saw a two-faced cat like this once when I was a young reporter in Ballarat, the home of the Eureka Stockade. A little known fact regarding the delightful city by Lake Wendouree is that it tried unsuccessfully in the early 80s to market itself with the helpful motto of “Crack a Fat in Ballarat!”. That said, the cat I saw was just two faces branching out of one head, as opposed to this, which is what happens when miscegenation and pussy goes all wrong.

    Like

  9. skink says:

    he’s back:

    http://au.news.yahoo.com/thewest/a/-/newshome/7596002/winton-sinks-his-teeth-into-shark-campaign/

    can I request some shark-themed Wintoning from the usual suspects?

    Like

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Can’t believe I’m too tired for Wintoning, but will sleep on it.

      Like

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Here’s a tired and possibly ungrammatical attempt Skink, though not sure I am exactly “Wintoning” anymore – i.e. perhaps has taken on its own legs as self- or WA- parody:

      Clem scratched under his beanie, and then at the stump, just below the knee, of his former leg. He took grim satisfaction in the momentary delight that his calve and ankle would have brought the Great White Pointer that had taken half his leg – indeed, his entire livelihood. Back in the Old Days they’d called him the Predator – the Big Fish at least – of the local surfing world. The cycle – perhaps even circle – of life was complete, he mused – writ large through the phantom of his former mobility; the lost ability to ride a wave, commune with the deep blue depth; with its simultaneous permissiveness and fury. Ultimately he simply stole from the vastness of the Indian Ocean; and eventually, as all things must, it stole back from him. Now reduced to talks to primary school children, aspirants to the Western Suburbs birthright to salt-water, and consequently to the possibility of the same fate he had known, he lectured kids on the “dangers” of surfing. “Kids”, he’d say, trying to hide the extent of his own useless, emotionally unfulfilling fulminations against his own peculiarly Scarborough disaster (“Could happen to anyone”, he told himself; while he continued to scratch his stump, all the while thinking: “Why me; why me?), “kids, be careful in the water”. Constantly buoying him was the thought that, no matter what, he was an undisputed Aussie hero; like Ponting, perhaps; for whether he lived or died, whether he triumphed or succumbed, as entrenched Turk over Gallipoli digger (as he liked to imagine); or as his own once beautiful body was given over to the jaws of the Great White, he cried: “WHY ME? WHY ME!” He caught himself up, before his apparently captive audience, as young as they were – thinking of billy-cart races after school – began to faintly demur, as a shark might in the seconds prior to being caught up in a lobster net…

      Like

      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        Largely incoherent, an faintly embarrassing, but not too bad for a piece of drunken writing, I say. Clearly you are too busy (hopefully with the judging of the poster finalists) to post any new comments this morning, TLA.

        Like

      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        The billy-cart reference is almost irrelevant to my own piece (Nintendo maybe?), but I had to include some jibe at the latest Peter Fitzsimons boo, A Simpler Time: A Memoir Of Love, Laughter, Loss And Billycarts. Could the title be an oblique reference to the simpletons who adore his work?

        Like

        • skink says:

          ooh, Peter Fitzsimmons is a personal bugbear of mine. I tried reading his Tobruk but it was unreadable unstructured sentimental nonesense

          Beevor he aint

          at least now he is writing about a subject dear to his heart – himself

          Like

      • …but no, twas not a lobster net (I suspect Tim would prefer crayfish?) but a Taiwanese Shark Fishing boat. Poor Sharky Splash Pants had his dorsal fin cleaved off in a flash of a nasty sharp thing, and was tossed back into the pellucid depths like a discarded turd….
        There he ruminated with much bad humour on his reversal of fortune as bubbles, nay, hyperbaric diamonds, floated towards the surface like lunatic cathedrals of smoke.

        Like

    • Shreiking Wombat says:

      The sharks are fucked.

      Like

    • Snuff says:

      Clearly, I was a bad kid, skink. As I witnessed the very same vision of hell, at the same age, all I could think was, “Cool.” And, “I’m off for a surf, while all these bloody sharks are over here at Cheynes.”

      Like

  10. I thought it was quite a nice photo.

    Like

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