Weekend Worstoff 115

Clarkson also gives me the shits. From Reynold. And if you were wondering where Jaidyn Jaxon got his current gravatar, it’s from Leisure Island, where he feels the display is just a bit too Ooga Booga for his liking.

And did I put this one up before? I can’t remember and can’t be bothered to check. Another ill starred attempt at church humour from Natalia seen in Rockingham.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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75 Responses to Weekend Worstoff 115

  1. Shreiking Wombat says:

    C_nt means nothing unless ‘U’ are in it.

    Like

  2. Mike says:

    I thought Ch__ch was Cheech. Far out man.

    Like

  3. Bento says:

    ‘Cutting off your nose to spite your face’ is perhaps pithier, but I’ll be using ‘putting laxative in your own passionfruit to spite your thieving neighbour’ from now on. Nice one.

    Like

  4. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Passionfruit russian roulette. I like it. Can we get an address?

    Like

  5. skink says:

    I can’t help thinking that next time the thief will simply pelt the miserable sod’s house with rotting laxative passionfruit

    who eats passionfruit anyway? the same bastards that eat kumquats?

    Like

    • richarbl says:

      Passionfruit are awesome, fig, quince and pomegranate on the other hand are fucking awful and are rightfully confined to an era when people had nothing else to eat, much like offal or ALP philosophy.

      Like

      • orbea says:

        people ate philosophy? why were the greeks so buff?

        Like

        • richarbl says:

          They didn’t eat it by choice, more it was crammed down their throats.

          Like

          • Natalia Fan #1 says:

            But what is “choice”, RBL, given the merely arbitrary distinction between culture and nature, and the corollary putative division between egological motivation and sheer causality?

            Like

            • vegan says:

              i eat it by choice.

              Like

              • skink says:

                he worries for all those people who had public education, health services, job security, paid vacations, weekends, and state pensions rammed down their throats.

                but apart from that, what has it ever done for us?

                Like

                • richarbl says:

                  Luckily private enterprise was there to pay for it all.

                  I wonder how Rudd feels about ALP philosophy?
                  Probably a massive burning sensation between the shoulder blades I would imagine.

                  Like

                  • skink says:

                    gee, I thought it came out of my taxes.

                    all those silly people in the world, voting for social democracy

                    Like

                    • richarbl says:

                      A simple mistake but I won’t hold it against you.

                      What social democracy?
                      Less than a hundred people voted for Gillard from a voter pool of approx 13 million.

                      Thats practically a dictatorship.

                      Like

                    • vegan says:

                      do you enjoy this, or are you a masochist?

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      Rich – don’t try that gambit. You know full well the PM is not directly elected. Don’t spout the drivel you pick up at Perthnow.

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      Someone needs to explain to him that the parties choose their leaders in Australia. Malcolm Turnbull, perhaps ?

                      Like

                    • richarbl says:

                      For your info Bento I do not even read Perthnow much less use it as a reference.

                      No amount of rationalewill ever remove the stench from Labor’s latest political execution

                      Try reading some proper news websitesif you really want gauge public opinion.

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      My God – you’re Frank’s Bizarro, aren’t you?

                      Like

                    • richarbl says:

                      Do
                      you
                      mean Binder
                      and
                      Papp’s Bizarro?

                      Like

                    • WAtching says:

                      This may be my fault. I may have started this…for a change.

                      Like

                  • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                    Too tired/pissed to write at length right now, but actually mostly agree with RBL. Rudd’s stepdown was a subversion of democratic processes (and yes, I do understand that in out system we vote for parties, not leaders).

                    Like

                  • skink says:

                    I am just having fun reading the number of times Howard contested his leadership:
                    1983 lost
                    1985 won
                    1989 knifed
                    1993 lost
                    1995 won
                    given that only the party room, rather than the full causcus, vote in that party, it suggests that RBL has one rule for the goose

                    Like

                    • richarbl says:

                      The difference here is that the electorate doesn’t get to vote for the the Opposition Leader, nor did they get the chance to vote for our new PM.

                      It was the process that stunk not Gillard, not yet anyway.

                      Like

                    • skink says:

                      the electorate doesn’t get to vote for the Prime Minister.
                      The leader of the majority party is invited by the GG to form a government.
                      pity you didn’t go to school in Oz, you may have learnt something about the Westminster system

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      Exactly, skink, but it’s all worth it for the hilarious hypocrisy of the
                      crocodile tears being shed.

                      Like

                    • richarbl says:

                      Thanks for the lesson on politics Skink.
                      your orsum

                      Like

                    • Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

                      Yet the PM, though a figurehead, is important. The election campaign will be publicised on the back of party leaders. Why did Kevin win in the first place? For not being Howard, duh. Howard, by then an avatar of pure stinginess. No-one likes a stinge. Kevin could have campaigned as a socialist crusader thieving from the rich to give to the rest, but never got the chance because of the money-sullied mediocrity of the Labor elite. 22.5 % guys, down from 40. Sure he may have been open to haggling, but ‘we just shot the shopkeeper, let’s make a deal’ ain’t the greatest way to turn a profit.
                      O

                      D
                      A
                      Y
                      U
                      M
                      N
                      !

                      Like

  6. skink says:

    I rest my case

    Like

  7. Bag O'Turnips says:

    CH-CH means something to those who live on the South Island of the Shaky Isles: it’s shorthand for Christchurch.

    Like

  8. Paracleet says:

    Zing!

    Like

  9. orbea says:

    the owner of the passionfruit should be told to plant another vine soon. The current one is reverting to root stock and will stop fruiting after this season – leaf shape.
    How am I going to keep my supply of pavlova condiment?

    Like

  10. Bento says:

    Leisure Island is a serial offender, I note.

    Like

  11. Sir Crispy Chicken Caesar says:

    Fuck you and your future c_nts … I’m eating pavlova. Should see what the kiwi fruit farmer posted to his bush.

    Like

  12. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Theme for this week : something better left unexplained.

    Like

  13. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    As much as I’d like to claim the Rocko ch__ch photo as my own (as much as the misguided attempt at placing me in that locale for even the few seconds it would have taken to gain this photograph is mildly insulting, TLA), its not from me. Perhaps Natalia herself is now contributing?

    Like

  14. richarbl says:

    To answer your question Vegan, even though questions are actively discouraged on TWOP and answers are even scarcer, I am not a masochist but I will admit to trolling the Lefties. They make it so easy.

    But hey, its all good fun and the comment count for a Weekendworstoff is much higher than usual. Whats not like?

    Like

  15. skink says:

    looking at the number of times Howard recontested the leadership, even after being firmly rejected by his party

    and how he refuses to renounce his nomination for the cricket job even when more than half the world has said ‘do one, you narrow-minded little bigot’

    it occurs to me that some people just won’t accept ‘twat’ as an answer

    Like

    • orbea says:

      I’ve never voted for Alexander Downer, John Howard, Brendan Nelson, Malcolm Turnbull or Tony Abbott.
      Likewise I never voted for Kim Beazley, Mark Latham, Kevin Rudd or Julia Gillard.
      How can a superficially intelligent person such as Richarddribble argue along a presidential direct election angle where none exists?

      Like

      • Snuff says:

        Superficially, orbea ? See here.

        Like

      • richarbl says:

        No you probably haven’t but if you were enrolled to vote in the electorate which one of the candidates was the leader of a political party then you could effectively vote for a potential PM or Premier.
        To further my point. Internal figures provided by the major political party to which I WAS a member of suggested that approximately forty percent of the votes for that party was based the personality of the the leader of the party and how they might be perceived as a leader.
        That is approximately three million votes being cast indirectly for a potential PM. Obviously those figures are subjective and open for interpretation but interesting regardless.

        And yes I am aware of how our political system works.

        Like

        • Snuff says:

          Probably haven’t ? Which part of never don’t you understand ? Suggested, approximately, based, might, indirectly, subjective, open for interpretation ? Malcolm must have finally explained it.

          Like

    • richarbl says:

      No arguments from me on that one Skink

      Like

    • orbea says:

      Clearly Australia and New Zealand cricket bureaucracy have not put up the right person for the job. Cricket is a Indian game now, purely by weight of economy and advertising, and the sooner the colonists stop trying to run the game as an extension of the East India Company, Major-General Howard as the glove puppet, the better.

      Pomegranate is awesome!!

      Like

  16. skink says:

    I guess I will have to be a real pedant and point out the feckin obvious.

    even if you accept RBL’s spurious argument about voting for the PM, a majority of seats were not won by John Howard’s party.

    The Liberal Party only won an outright majority in ’96. Mostly they only formed Government in coalition with the Nats. More people voted for someone that wasn’t John Howard.

    Like

  17. Snuff says:

    And so it goes. A conservative figure eh, Mike ? I’m looking at you, Barnaby. And where do you think you’re going, Mad Bob ?

    Like

  18. hectic says:

    The crisis of the passion.

    Like

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