Authorised by Dudley Park

Some worst fans got to go to a Canning dinner for Alannah. Apparently she was suspiciously extremely intelligent-  ie, if she’s so fucking smart, why is she in a hole like Canning, covering some of Perth’s most crapulous suburbs? They saved me a balloon. Another suburb I’ve never heard of, Dudley Park? Google maps puts it in crabtown.

68 Cambridge Street Coonaroo QLD seems a sad place for such a proud balloon to have come from.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorisable Worsts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to Authorised by Dudley Park

  1. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Really hard to say whether having MacTiernan as a candidate for Canning is something useful for a person of her talents (and besides, there’s already the Armadale Line). But anything would be better than having the Wiberwals’ Don Randall, a timeserver if there ever was. At least you could count on her to add to the canon of withering rhetoric, in the fine tradition of numerous Federal ALP MHRs who have gone before her.

    When I worked in that neck of the woods (thank God I’ve never lived there), I had this burning desire in the back of my mind to do some alteration to the sign outside Randall’s electorate office in Kelmscott, inverting his slogan “You talk, I’ll listen”, into the more appropriate “I talk, you’ll listen”. Only reason I didn’t go ahead, beyond my good standing with the Law, was the high likelihood that such subtle protestations would go over the heads of the local boganry and simply get lost amongst the static of mindless “[insert tag name] woz ere 10” tags that are du jour along that corridor.


  2. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Why the fuck would anybody want to put Canning on the map? And what is that crapulent munted cunting font?


    • Bento says:

      Spot on. We really should be looking into ways to get Canning off the map. I’m drafting a strongly-worded letter to the President of Google Maps as we speak.


    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Both extremely valid, not to mention pertinent, questions, SW. “Peel” is this mental and otherwise blank spot I have between Perth and Albany. Creery Island infuckingdeed.


  3. Pete says:

    SW, thanks for my word(s) of the day – crapulent munted cunting. I was going to go with Plongette but cmc leaves no doubt or confusion.


  4. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Apart from Fremantle (a begrudging concession to SW and other contributors, though it does frequenty, quite literally, stink like shit), is there anywhere south of the mighty Swan that doesn’t stink like shit?


    • orbea says:

      Woodman Point would have to be the epicentre of ordure. For years Water Corp has been ignoring their shit farm licenses.


    • Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

      Fermentle doesn’t so much stink like shit as like a hobo’s ghost – there is a difference. I’m quite fond of Nornalup – does that count?


      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        That would be the other side of the Peel black hole, amirite. Actually, it’s inaccurate to describe Peel as a black hole. Real black holes attract everything, even light. Peel attracts poms and bogans. (Interesting fact – Murdoch Uni staff frequently refer to the Peel “campus” as The Gulag).


  5. orbea says:

    I’ve got the fucking horn and I want to know what Alannah is going to do about it.


  6. M & A ask from Queensland, “Why is Mandurah so hated? Is it only because they haven’t yet seen Mackay?”


  7. Bill O'Slatter says:

    How threatened is Boganvillea by the RSPT ?


  8. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Anybody who can source a ballon in Queensland and ensure it ends up in the right electorate on the other side of the country has my vote. It would have been a shame if it blew off course into somewhere more scenic (but less marginal) like Curtin.


  9. Cobbler says:

    Blue ALP balloon?


  10. David Cohen says:

    I wonder what else Conan Products can do?


  11. richarbl says:

    Alannah is the ballon girl? Smells like a publicity stunt.


  12. Terangeree says:

    Cambridge Street’s only a kilometre away from my loungeroom, but it’s in Coorparoo, not “Coonaroo”.


  13. Bartender's Skills with a Manhatten says:

    Put Canning on the map?

    Pretty sure the Campbell’s Soup Company beat her to it.


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