Tub Boy

Shazza is calling this not worst, this guy that drives around in a bathtub in Freo (where else?). I suppose it does have a certain eccentric charm. I’m just glad it’s not tub girl. (And I would reccommend you don’t search for tub girl. Read the description in urban dictionary if you must know.)

The shadows of Shazza’s family are a little sinister though. Is the child holding a tyre iron?

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorisable Worsts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

149 Responses to Tub Boy

  1. Bento says:

    The Osaka Duck is a nice touch. But the flames clinch it.

    Like

  2. Shreiking Wombat says:

    All I can say is thank god I no longer live in South Fremantle.

    Like

  3. poor lisa says:

    Fantastic shazza! Definitely not worst. It reminds me of brum

    Like

  4. Bento says:

    What’s the writing on the chassis? I drive a bathtub and I vote?

    Like

  5. skink says:

    I will not be impressed unless this hot tub is also a time machine

    I suspect that it is, as it appears to have brought back a miner from the gold rush, Coolgardie, 1894.

    Like

  6. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    I concur: not worst.

    Like

  7. WAtching says:

    May Hot Tub guy be an arrester bed for Adele and Troy.

    No doubt this will be the major attraction for the May Day celebrations this weekend.

    Like

  8. G'day from WA says:

    Is that the end of a rake, now painted silver, acting as the grille of the tub machine?

    Like

  9. David Cohen says:

    For God’s sake shazza – think of the children.

    Where were you off to/back from – a lazy afternoon of pushing over shopping trolleys at Woolstores?

    Like

  10. There’s 97 people online. Not sure where spike is coming from. Tub drivers?

    Like

  11. There are numerous fellows who look exactly like this who overtake me on ancient 10 speed bikes riding in incredibly low gears. What’s the deal with bearded codgers? How can they ride so fast?

    Like

  12. 13th Oyster says:

    He sells bathtub speed.

    Like

  13. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Perhaps we’re awash in drugs?

    Like

  14. Jaidyn-Jaxxon Taylor-Shanesmith says:

    So, wilfully submitting a ‘not worst’ and everyone else unanimously hailing it as such? WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS

    Like

  15. orbea says:

    NOT WORST!!
    What really fucken shits me about Perth is the self-aggrandizing fetish for Prado’s/Landcruisers/Murano/Navara whatever fucken huge four wheel drive.

    Too large, too heavy, wasteful of fuel, dangerous for other traffic, fuck off to the bush with your inadequate ego and large unsafe tractor built to protect it.

    Like

    • Onanist says:

      95% of them only go off road when they pull into the driveway.

      Like

      • Bag O'Turnips says:

        About the only offroading they do otherwise is to jump the kerb to park on the verge adjacent to the oval, natch playing fields, to watch their private school progeny play some ball sport from their personal portable corporate box on a Saturday morning.

        Like

        • hovean says:

          It’s fascinating watching fat shelias getting behind the wheel of their 4wd.
          With knee bent, the left leg is raised above seat height – thus allowing the seat edge to be gripped/bitten firmly enough to enable the rest of the driver to be hauled in. A light grip on the steering wheel is used only to ensure it is cleared and not damaged by the momentum of the entering driver. Seems to work better if a dress is worn.

          Like

          • Bag O'Turnips says:

            No doubt the motor companies factor these ergonomic considerations in when they design theses beasts, all the while pushing the Great Outdoors line in their marketing.

            A tacit understanding exists there: if it were revealed, then the fit might hit the shan, like in the early 70s with the Supercar Scare, a moral panic of the time when suburban chariots such as the Kingswood, Falcon and Valiant in just over five years had added increasingly powerful hero cars to their ranges, which served to promote hoon driving in the eyes of the authorities, which were then duly legislated into oblivion. All because of a visible contingent of dickheads who abused the abilities of these cars. Kinda like what’s happening with 4WDs now, purposeful vehicles inappropriately used.

            Like

  16. I see “Colonic irrigation Kelmscott” in the search items from google. Sigh.

    Like

  17. B.T. says:

    Great flames.

    Like

  18. rolly says:

    Most decidedly *Not Worst*.
    We *need* people like this to demonstrate to us just how limited our precepts of normality actually are.
    Give the man a medal.

    Like

  19. Ljuke says:

    I like how Shaz has tried for the obligatory crotch shot. That’s how you get a worst, people!

    Like

  20. Mez says:

    Good on you Shaz – making the home team proud

    There is another one I have spotted a couple of times coming from the Hilton direction. Not as pimped as this one but the driver looked just as happy with himself

    Like

  21. And on a relatively uncontroversial day, with a “not worst” in the spotlight, TWOP has its biggest day ever.

    Like

  22. Hugh Jass says:

    In breaking news, leaked via Twitter:

    #6PR Paul Murray in for Howard Sattler from 3pm…Hear Mooner’s thoughts on the Macquarie Bank CEO’s 9.5mil pay-packet. 882AM http://www.6pr.com.au

    Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Also on the radio today, on another right-wing wingnut programme (Radio National’s token neo-con slot, “Counterpoint”), of some small note, was David Fucking Outrage Cohen moderating a discussion on the infestation of weasel words and management-speak, featuring Don Watson of Death Sentence and Recollections of a Bleeding Heart fame and Prof. A. C. Grayling, a British philosopher, at the Perth Writer’s festival. This was a repeat of the programme, which originally aired on Monday evening. DFOC gave some marvellous prompts and remarks (bouquets to you Outrage). ‘Twas most entertaining and had a great laugh, most enlightening and enjoyable.

      Unlike the normal fare usually highlighted in “Counterpoint”. This programme is a Howard-era Culture Wars beachhead on the decidedly pink shores of RN, a forum for apologia favouring the ABC board of that time, in the name of balance of course, to give voice to “seldom heard commentators” and “challenge[s] widely held views”. Namely a soapbox for the better-spoken elements of the climate denialists, flat-earthers and social Darwinians.

      I guess what they have to say would go over the heads of the average 6PR demographic, but the message is the same: just get some shameless marketing type who is a virtuoso the dog whistle with populist tunes to nail the message home in a language and context they understand. As for balance, well shitpissfuckcunt! I’ll listen to 6PR and listen to commercial radio fellatio and watch 7 and 9 (10 is for the politically tone-deaf). But Prattler notwithstanding, it’s not like they’re actively pushing a right-wing agenda, one would say.

      But that’s the genius of neo-liberal and neo-conservative types: they fuck yers from behind and tell you you’re enjoying it so smoothly, you think you’re the one getting the sweet deal. But you wake up and though you kinda realise that you’re incubated with the syphilitic headfuck aspect of modern consumption and the chlamidya of indifference, pretending that it somehow it doesn’t affect you, even as you are stricken by donovanosis of indebtedness. Apathy, distraction and unfair targeting of Other are the devices used in mass meeja, to keep the great unwashed from asking too many questions and have then lusting after things that a bit of easy credit can get you, to fill your days and your unused back bedroom (or formal dining room) with junk, though flashy, you don’t actually need. That’s the headfuck. That’s what rightwingnuts want you to do. Consume. Consume. Consume. Growth at all costs, or the sky will fall! Well it mightn’t fall, but I suspect that it’ll get filthier…

      Sorry. Did I go off on some polemic? Aw, scheiße! Did like the South Freo hotrod. No one can say that wasn’t built on a tub chassis!

      Like

      • Bento says:

        Nice rant, BO’T. But surely you are mistaken. The ABC is clearly a mouthpiece of the Liberal/Green conspiracy.

        Like

        • Frank’s, grappa nexus, is a little disturbing.

          Like

        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          Maybe on 720, where there’s more scope for parochialism. But have a scroll-through of the programme list of RN. Examine the basic outline of each show and the only one that can be considered nominally right-of-centre would be “Counterpoint”. It was put in place as a sop to the Howard-rigged board, to have an anti-“Late Night Live”, to act as a foil to Phillip Adams.

          And the only talkback on that station is “Australia Talks”, which somehow has escaped the serial cranks and pests who dial in on the likes of Prattler, Price, Mitchell, Hadley and Jones. Maybe they don’t want to take the risk of being subjected to views that challenge their prejudices and broaden their poxy vistas.

          Then again, I take prophylactic action by doing the same: I never deign to have 882 on my AM band and whenever I hear the trad-jazz opening strains of “Counterpoint” on the otherwise safe-haven (or sheltered workshop, if you think RN is for wankers), I immediately scramble for the station dial and hope for something better wherever I can, sort of like when I was five and couldn’t handle the and scrambled for either another channel that wasn’t closed or hit the off button!

          Like

          • Bag O'Turnips says:

            Merda. Did it again. It was the test pattern that had me scrambling like mad. Let me try to practice doing hyperlinks.

            Like

            • Natalia Fan #1 says:

              Always enjoy a good RN rant Turnips. I actually enjoy Counterpoint sometimes. The two shows that really shit me are Life Matters and Bush Telegraph. This means I simply turn RN off between the hours of 9 and 12 on weekdays. You do get crazies on Australia Talks, but the worser offenders tend to leave the show alone because (a) it so fuckin’ boring, and (b) the format only allows each caller to speak for a mere few seconds.

              Like

              • JaneZ says:

                Not that I suppose anyone is all that interested, but Phillip Adams shits.me.to.tears.

                Like

                • Bag O'Turnips says:

                  Not as much as the rightwingnut habitués of the AM band do: sure, he might project himself as a smug old fart and a bit of a clever wanker, but his guests are oftentimes intriguing and have good stories to tell, and what’s more, not all come from the pink end of the political spectrum. I can also dig that he is something of an autodidact, like I am.

                  Like

              • Bag O'Turnips says:

                I actually really like Life Matters, so horses for courses there NF#1: in the fields I both work and study in (allied health care and community services), this programme has some fascinating guests and stories relevant to what I do and I enjoy Richard Aedy’s presentation, it beats Julie McCrossin hands down.

                As for Bush Telegraph, it is truly a niche programme to cater for the un-bumpkin rural set: y’know, the one’s who run biodynamic farms and drive either diesel Audi Allroads or Subaru Outbacks (which IMHO are better alternatives for most of those who needlessly motor around in heavy-duty 4WDs and in suburbia at that). The ones who don’t automatically put “1” alongside either the Nats or Ironknob Fuckey on the ballot paper. At least the show has something useful to say, even if it ain’t your bag or mine (I don’t live in the bush).

                Live and let live. Unless they step on your toes on purpose.

                Like

                • Bag O'Turnips says:

                  Oops. “One’s” is meant to be “ones”; plural rather than possessive. I’m the loose nut always rattling on about the poor application of apostrophes.

                  What a fucking hypocrite I am. But I nonetheless profess that it was done in error. Still a hypocrite, though.

                  Like

  23. David Cohen says:

    I thank you for those kind (yet perceptive) remarks, Bag.

    On to more urgent matters: I have just noticed the sinister writing on the palm of Hot Tub Man.

    What does it mean? The Rapture is around the corner?

    Like

  24. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Maybe Teh Rapture is roundin’ the corners of the mean laneways of SF, ’tis maybe a of things to come!

    Like

    • Bag O'Turnips says:

      Oops, trying to master the hyperlink and I fucked up the punchline in teh process.

      I meant:

      “[T]is maybe a Haflinger of things to come!”

      If you see it, it’s similar in roadworthiness to the Hot Tub. Maybe it’s his weekend ride.

      Like

      • rolly says:

        Not to be judged by normal vehicular standards, the Haflinger had the cross country ability of a mountain goat; it was just not quite as fast.

        Like

        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          Get Smiley Beardface some stimulation (or a stimulant, organic preferably), a solar panel (or a homemade perpetual motion flywheel made from the scraps of a Morris Marina) and paint some flames on the side à la Hot Tub on the Haflinger, then it’ll go like a hairy free-range goat. The perfect weekend getaway device.

          I’d say “love that car!” to that, as opposed to the aptly-named Pajero by the company produces to whom that catchcry is attributed to.

          Like

  25. Mez says:

    Beardface Smiley Tubman gets a whole page in the Femantle Herald today (p.39)

    Like

  26. Mez says:

    gone a bit zoroastrian on us there TLA?
    …marginally I mean

    Like

  27. Adrian says:

    I’m more intrigued by the collection of shadows arranged around him. Kind of reminds me of the closing scene in the “Seventh Seal”.

    Like

  28. fluffs says:

    This should be renamed “Hot Tub Bloke” !!!
    I have met him … really nice bloke … does his bit for the “Community”.
    Is also helping others with mobility scooters, oldies, sorting out scooter issues etc.,
    to get them back on the road to be mobile and a better quality of life.

    Excentric … Yes, … but … Mad … definitely NO.

    All I know it brings a smile to my face each time I see him cruising the streets of Fremantle … in the HOT TUB, … or his Chopper …
    That sort of sums it up I suppose.

    Some words to describe Fremantle …
    charm, diverse, party, café, food, craft, fashion, music, art, beaches, multicultural, fun, tradition, proud, trendy, historic, sustainable, tourist and exciting.

    {;^)>

    Like

  29. The Legend 101 says:

    What does mez mean?

    Like

  30. The Legend 101 says:

    What an idiot lying on the street like that, He could git hit by a car

    Like

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