No Chairs No Cry

Have had sooooooooo many good submissions lately. Hard to choose, but I’ve been laughing all day at this from first time submitter Tristan H. Might have been a worst on its own, but when the dude tells you he has a large table but no fucking chairs, hooooooeee, that’s tasty worsting! Dude, no chairs?  Could I suggest it’s too niche a market – those who want to learn Dungeons and Dragons from someone with no chairs? Can supply bean bag covers but NOT beans. Highgate.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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45 Responses to No Chairs No Cry

  1. skink says:

    dude, you should know that all serious Dungeon Masters stand up to play,
    like Jerry Lee Lewis at the piano

    did Gandalf carry a chair all the way to the Gates of Mordor so he could have a nice sit down when he got there? did he fuck.

    Like

  2. Shreiking Wombat says:

    You sure that notice wasn’t put up by Raymond XXXXXXXXXX?

    Like

  3. shazza says:

    I can’t help but feel a little sorry for these Xandiaver,JubeiThosHorde types.

    Like

  4. WAtching says:

    Expereinced Dungeon Master.

    Just call Joseph Fritzl.

    That’s right. No chairs.

    Like

  5. David Cohen says:

    Has anyone else noticed the die are the wrong shape?

    Like

  6. Shreiking Wombat says:

    OT, but good heavens. Who would ever have guessed there was such a thing as the Lithuanian Association of Blondes?

    http://www.goblonde.lv/eng/

    Like

  7. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Curiously enough I know an experienced Dungeon Master (note the capitals) with chairs, food & drink but no venue or large table. What are the odds?

    Players 16 years or older? Have they left out the ubiquitous “must be broadminded”?

    Like

  8. richarbl says:

    This seems as a good time as any to post this.

    Like

  9. Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

    Surely they can just raid some kobolds for provisions

    Like

  10. Indira carmichael says:

    I didn’t think chairs were allowed in dungeons. Isn’t everyone supposed to be chained to the walls?

    Like

  11. Observer says:

    I’m floored by their statement.

    Like

  12. Bag O'Turnips says:

    I’ve found a better version, which has the whole story in context, as well as in-sync sound. Much funnier.

    Fucking geek alright!

    Like

  13. Bag O'Turnips says:

    WTF?!?! I’m just trying to be too clever-by-half with HTML code…one fault in the chain and all you get is a nonsensical mélange of characters.

    I’ll just post the link, it’s easier that way. Take it from me, this is pissfunny. Take four.

    http://www.bauer-power.net/2008/10/think-twice-before-playing-d.html

    Like

  14. WAtching says:

    Shouldn’t it say- “No Time Wasters?”

    Actually, no it shouldn’t.

    Like

  15. Pingback: An bring me that tiger lickin’ stick | The Worst of Perth

  16. Ljuke says:

    I keep coming back to this worst. It’s so good. I hope this will be in the TWOP 2011 calendar.

    Like

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