Purity of Essence

Baravan afficionado Rolly maintains that this picture shows the essence of the City of Stirling.While Paracleet claims this sign is the essence of the City of Perth. And WAtching asserts that this is the essence of the Town of Vincent. Purity of Essence must preserve our vital bodily fluids in our vibrancy ravaged boroughs.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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154 Responses to Purity of Essence

  1. Hugh Jass says:

    Could the town of Vincent not have put a coat of paint on that sign while erecting the advertising?

    Like

  2. Richarbl says:

    I’m voting for Rolly on this one.
    WAtchings submission, though worthy, had too much focus to be considered a worst.

    Like

  3. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Thank god it’s a Nuclear Free Zone. So what’s with the general feel of post-apocalypticism?

    Could it be zombies?

    Like

  4. Shreiking Wombat says:

    And as to NYE Countdown, I don’t want to spend any NYE with Times New Roman all caps, thank you very much.

    Like

  5. Snuff says:

    Now that’s a Gateway to Dog Swamp, and a timely homage to our favourite Councillor.

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    • WAtching says:

      Precisely why it was taken Snuff.

      I cant recall the details and I can’t be bothered reading the whole thread, but I do beleive “our Matt” said something along the lines of…

      “I was born a Gen II man , but I’ll die a Gen III”

      Like

      • Shreiking Wombat says:

        Does that mean he’s some sort of transcendant being?

        Like

        • WAtching says:

          That’s probably for others to decide, but as Snuff pointed out, he did make 2009 TWoP Comment of the Year.

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          • Shreiking Wombat says:

            And a fine comment it was, too.

            Why does everyone hate Richardbl?

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            • vegan says:

              actually, i think the question is why does richardbl hate everyone?

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            • shazza says:

              I don’t think we hate him SW (at least I don’t). The whole thing with Rich has developed over time. He’s a bit touchy. And some of us cheekily play on that.

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              • Shreiking Wombat says:

                I see. TWOP Lore.

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                • skink says:

                  light the blue touchpaper at arm’s length and retire to a safe distance

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                • Snuff says:

                  If you’re a masochist, SW, you could trawl through the reams of abusive comments he’s posted and see that he’s a self-obsessed, self-pitying, approval seeking drama queen. I doubt that anyone could be bothered hating him for that alone.

                  As is usual in these cases, those who dish it out the most are least able to take it, and it’s on this point, which shaz and skink allude to, that tremendous fun was once to be had. Sometimes a single word would be all it took to engender a tirade of hissy fits, as he then played the persecuted victim. Unfortunately, so Pavlovian were his responses that they simply became tedious, until TLA had to finally implore him to cease and desist.

                  Nowadays, he just alternates between abuse and sycophancy. I prefer the former, personally, as it’s less disingenuous. Hope that helps, SW.

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                  • WAtching says:

                    You wouldn’t have to trawl too far back to find out and out abuse, SW.

                    I tale little offense from the abuse, what I object to is that playful enjoyable discussions are dragged down, and they become sincere investigations of who said what when. I find sincerity to be so unseemly.

                    If I wanted entertainment of that type I would watch senate committee hearings.

                    Like

                    • Richarbl says:

                      I should offer an detailed defense to snuff and little snuff’s typically erroneous statements but its such pathetic garbage that its hardly worth even writing this brief reply.

                      They are nothing more than prime examples of haters needing to hate.

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                    • Snuff says:

                      Don’t forget TLA, Richarbl.

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                    • Richarbl says:

                      Good point, I forgot he deleted several of your abusive comments.

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                    • monkeypants says:

                      Ah WAtching – that is my favourite comment, “I find sincerity to be so unseemly”.

                      This sketch could be of Mez?

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                    • shazza says:

                      Prior to the impending implosion I implore people to consider the question:
                      what would buff jesus do?

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      TLA has never had to say this

                      “Perhaps you can just stop now Richarbl. I wanted you to come back and make some amusing comments on the topics as you have done in the past. Why can’t you do that? Why you are doing this baffling and ridiculous commenting I really don’t know. You seem hell bent on making yourself look like a dickhead. Time to make some real comments or just stop altogether OK? I really don’t want to ban you but you are just making it tedious for other readers now. Confine your comments to the subjects alone from now on please.”

                      … to anyone but Richarbl, SW.

                      Like

                    • WAtching says:

                      MP: I see the resemblance…

                      Shazza: Great Call

                      Hmmm… Steak Sandwich.

                      Excuse me.

                      Like

                    • Richarbl says:

                      Snuff Inseminators 09 5:17

                      “Speaking of waiting, anyone who enjoys torturing kids, and hey, who doesn’t”

                      That one single comment is all anyone would need to know you snuff.

                      Like

                    • WAtching says:

                      RBL: I demand that you retract your comment right away.

                      Readers: Can I point out that Snuff in no way endorses or encourages the torture of children. Apparently it ruins the flavour.

                      Like

                    • Snuff says:

                      And then you need to garnish them with marshmallows, WAtching. Looks like he forgot the bit about sarcasm, again.

                      p.s. Here’s the full quote, and here’s the video it referred to, just in case anyone might be misled by Richarbl’s pathetic attempt.

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      I torture kids and I vote.

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                    • Snuff says:

                      Well that does it, Bento. I’m now going to completely ignore the thousands of fine comments you’ve made and obsess on part of this one. Voting.

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                    • Richarbl says:

                      Yes you are correct snuff, collecting comments and photos to use against other contributors is pathetic.

                      Like

                    • Bento says:

                      I collect comments and photos and I vote.

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            • Richarbl says:

              Good Question SW I think it stems from the fact that many of my comments have interpreted as being provocative when in fact they were intended to be funny.
              Often my humour is not recognised and in many cases a TWOP contributor has taken a comment to heart that had nothing to do with them at all and made an entire literary career out of it.

              Any normal person would google an unknown word or phrase or request clarification but instead some have chosen to spend the next hundred posts criticising every single word I have said (exaggeration intended).

              The fact is TWOP is maelstrom of entertainment and I think at times I have added to the colour if not the mood.
              Having said that Richarbl is a slow learner but fortunately he has had very good teachers.

              In answer to vegans cheap shot (#117), I do not hate anyone on this site.

              Like

              • shazza says:

                Thanks Rich, that sums it all up far better than anyone else could have. It had to be in your words for full comprehension

                Like

              • vegan says:

                oh gosh, rbl, but that was only a joke.

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              • Matt b says:

                I like Richarbl – his just happened to be the 1st post after my 1st in the epic spreading tentacles thread, and planets aligned with his RSVP.com profile, and the rest is history.

                Like

                • If you do go gravatar Matt, I would suggest a “real” one of you, especially if you want to comment seriously on other blogs. Gravatars show up on most of the blog platforms. If you only intend to comment here, thensomething amusing would be good.

                  Like

                  • WAtching says:

                    I like this one Matt…

                    Like

                    • WAtching says:

                      OK OK.

                      I am sorry about the nuclear jokes. No More.

                      You did say that you were weaning yourself off those sites, which is a good thing, and should
                      be encouraged.

                      Nuclear really isn’t a burning issue for me. But you can see why I took the picture of the sign.

                      Like

                    • Matt b says:

                      I don’t mind the nuclear commentary. I’m open about my position that nuclear power is a sensible and safe option to provide low-carbon energy.

                      *end of political statement*

                      Also “those sites” are the crank climate ones, I still think it is valuable to know what they are on about but the arguments don’t go anywhere. I’ll be sticking with Bravenewclimate though – hardly a crank blog.

                      Like

                    • WAtching says:

                      I’ll take your word for it.

                      More importantly, Can we please have an Osaka Duck?

                      Just imagine it in the pond at the Freeway “on Ramp?”

                      Hyde Park?

                      Like

                    • Pfortner says:

                      ah, the ole ‘I’m open to an enormous bribe over nuclear power’. So very familiar. Just not in your backyard eh Matty?

                      Like

                  • Matt b says:

                    TLA – I have a nice one of me on a boat. It has it all – self-administered haircut, slightly flared jeans, smug smirk… you may remember it:)

                    Like

                • skink says:

                  I have always imagined Councillor Buckels as as the bastard love child of Josh Byrne and Hugh Fearnley-Wittingstall

                  Like

  6. shazza says:

    Rolly, I’ve always had visions of you living in the countryside. Despite the fact your submissions all seem to stem from CoS (that’s City of Stirling not ‘Church’ of Scientology)
    Anyway great shot old man.

    Like

    • rolly says:

      It’s where my heart resides, dear shazza.

      The references to Dumbleyung are all a figment of the hyperactive TLA imagination.

      But please, less of the “old man”: I’ve still a few years to go before I join the “Life begins at 70” brigade’.

      Just.

      Like

    • WAtching says:

      I agree. Very Nice.

      Hillarys?
      It is pure folie. No function is served by it at all.
      Perhaps goodkid would like to see that atop Cockburn Central.

      Like

  7. orbea says:

    Rolly FTW, is this a competition, did I win?

    Like

  8. Pfortner says:

    Let me just chime in here and confirm that the Leederville Carnivale was indeed the most completely burlesque and thoroughly tapas event Perth has to offer

    Like

    • rolly says:

      You some kind of futurist Pfffffft?

      Next Sunday week, folks.

      Like

      • Pfortner says:

        I read about it in the Lonely Planet.

        Like

        • Natalia Fan #1 says:

          Nothin’ better than a few olives and a bit of fishnet Pfort. Get with the fucking program. Not only is burlesque an ART; it also gives women (and not just the lookers) the means for expressing their sexuality within a healthy, non-exploitative framework.

          I sincerely hope that the Leederville Carnivale will live up to the excitement its advertising suggests, i.e. by
          feature contributions from the local pole-dancing club, a lame Latin band, and some overpriced bits of fried sausage on little plates.

          While I’m thinking of it, any reports on the most recent Perth beer fest?

          Like

          • shazza says:

            A non regular commenter recently reported to TWoP that it was yards (pun intended) ahead of the previous one.

            Like

            • Natalia Fan #1 says:

              Yes, I now read that it was actually beery good this year.

              Like

              • Pfortner says:

                Hop along now, that was barley a pun at ale.

                Like

                • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                  Your irrational hatred of burlesque/tapas leads you into some dangerous territory sir.

                  Like

                  • Pfortner says:

                    Definitely a case of the whole being greater than the sum of its parts, it’s the unwholesome conjunction of the two that really gets my goat. For some reason I find the notion inextricable from clouded nightmare visions of thumbing through ‘Lonely Planet Bolivia’ while Leonard Cohen lilts mournfully from the iPhone

                    Like

                  • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                    “Honey, if you’re hungry for something a bit more than tapas, we could always pop into Jus Burger, or that new pizza place run by that Theo – you know THEO? – yeah, the book I got you last Christmas. Best pizza in the world, apparently. Anyway, I’m just going to finish watching the burlesque – it is considered an art now you know – so if the baby’s kicking, or your feet are getting sore, just sit down over near the band. Quite good, aren’t they – a bit like Buena Vista Social Club. OK, see you in a minute”.

                    Like

          • And those god awful druming cunts. Sambanistas or something.

            Like

          • Snuff says:

            That’s not burlesque. This is burlesque.

            Like

  9. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Why is the N.Y.E. COUNTDOWN text aligned with the right side of the sign?

    The shift from writing any kind of public announcement LIKE THIS to all-lower-case yuppie minimalism has always intrigued me.

    Good to see Natalia getting her due, but I truly am her #1 fan.

    Like

  10. Matt B says:

    Ahhh the old Nuclear Free chestnut.

    Maybe WAtching you’d like us to hold an arts competition to design new, vibrant and innovative entry statement. The current sign is probably less worst than whatever might win.

    Like

  11. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Warning : there may be a logical error in the above statement.

    Like

  12. Bill O'Slatter says:

    root brewed brothel piss

    Like

  13. Maryam says:

    Write to Me. Paul I hope this is you

    Like

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