Unauthorised Toiletry

Surely this is just the thin end of the wedge for an infinite regression of “please read” signs? And what is unauthorised toiletry? Does that mean Blue Stratos? From Brer Bento.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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34 Responses to Unauthorised Toiletry

  1. munkipants says:

    do they not want you to use their toilet or toiletrys?

    does this make Myer – the “toilet store”?

    Like

  2. shazza says:

    There’s the use of refrain again.
    I was born a ‘cease and desist’ woman and I’ll…..

    Like

  3. Bento says:

    Funnily enough, I was on my way to the ladies’ to do an upper-decker. Lucky that sign was there – it saved everyone a lot of embarrassment.

    Like

  4. Toph says:

    The sign also seems to reflect their customer service skills – muddled and basic

    Like

  5. Richarbl says:

    Shouldn’t the ladies toilets be located in the babywear section, just next to kitchen utensils and handbags.

    Like

  6. Hugh Jass says:

    I think they put those signs up because I keep going in there all the time for a reverse kanga. Someone must have complained.

    Like

  7. Onanist says:

    Terrible, I was there last Saturday, touching cloth, turtling some would say.

    I made my way to the second floor and the toilet attendant said “I’m sorry sir, no entry without a romper suit”!

    Very embarrassing.

    Like

  8. skink says:

    Mystool Myer

    Like

  9. cookster says:

    Just dropping the kids off in babywear.

    Like

  10. flynn says:

    the whole floor is the gents toilet?
    Shouldn’t miss then.

    Like

  11. Pfortner says:

    I just don’t get how ‘using the wrong toilets’ translates into ‘unauthorised toiletry’. It’s like saying ‘irritationwise signry’ or ‘unperpetrated laminationry’.
    ‘WHEAS BROGAN! WHEA ISSIE!’
    ‘Eaux don’t be so crass mother, we are in Myer after all. If you must know, he’s up on the second floor, executing a performance of shitry.’

    Like

  12. ronggly says:

    I was in Myer’s perfumerie the other day, pretending to select a cologne, while getting a free blast of Dune onto my watch band, when two heavily-bearded homeless guys stopped nearby and proceeded to spray themselves from the test bottles. Within seconds they were covered in Christina Aguilera, Kouros, Kylie Minogue, Maybelline, DKNY, BVLGARi and (appropriately) Dunhill. The then laughed and flapped their way out onto the Hay St Mall. I have not seen anyone look so happy in ages. The staff were obviously used to this as they maintained a back-to-the-wall stance and let them go.

    Like

  13. Shreiking Wombat says:

    WTF is wrong with these people that they can’t put up a sign that says ‘Womens Toilet. Mens Toilet on second floor’?

    *bangs head on desk @ crap grammar*

    Like

  14. Shreiking Wombat says:

    I’m surprised they didn’t plonk ‘This is a Sign’ somewhere.

    Like

  15. Paracleet says:

    Surely that sign only precludes your average male punter from helping themselves to the soap and TP. It doesn’t specifically fobid their entry.

    Like

  16. graham says:

    If it says ‘unauthorised toiletry’ does it mean ‘Don’t piss here, there is a toilet not far away’?

    Like

  17. JaneZ says:

    No way, toiletries are things like toothpaste and soap.

    “Please refrain from using unauthorised toiletry”, accordingly, must mean you can crap your heart out but you can’t bring your own soap.

    Like

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