Unauthorised Toiletry

Surely this is just the thin end of the wedge for an infinite regression of “please read” signs? And what is unauthorised toiletry? Does that mean Blue Stratos? From Brer Bento.

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About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
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34 Responses to Unauthorised Toiletry

  1. munkipants's avatar munkipants says:

    do they not want you to use their toilet or toiletrys?

    does this make Myer – the “toilet store”?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8YVVHjZzRE

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  2. shazza's avatar shazza says:

    There’s the use of refrain again.
    I was born a ‘cease and desist’ woman and I’ll…..

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  3. Bento's avatar Bento says:

    Funnily enough, I was on my way to the ladies’ to do an upper-decker. Lucky that sign was there – it saved everyone a lot of embarrassment.

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  4. Toph's avatar Toph says:

    The sign also seems to reflect their customer service skills – muddled and basic

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  5. Richarbl's avatar Richarbl says:

    Shouldn’t the ladies toilets be located in the babywear section, just next to kitchen utensils and handbags.

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  6. Hugh Jass's avatar Hugh Jass says:

    I think they put those signs up because I keep going in there all the time for a reverse kanga. Someone must have complained.

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  7. thededicatedonanist's avatar Onanist says:

    Terrible, I was there last Saturday, touching cloth, turtling some would say.

    I made my way to the second floor and the toilet attendant said “I’m sorry sir, no entry without a romper suit”!

    Very embarrassing.

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  8. skink's avatar skink says:

    Mystool Myer

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  9. cookster's avatar cookster says:

    Just dropping the kids off in babywear.

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  10. flynn's avatar flynn says:

    the whole floor is the gents toilet?
    Shouldn’t miss then.

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  11. Pfortner's avatar Pfortner says:

    I just don’t get how ‘using the wrong toilets’ translates into ‘unauthorised toiletry’. It’s like saying ‘irritationwise signry’ or ‘unperpetrated laminationry’.
    ‘WHEAS BROGAN! WHEA ISSIE!’
    ‘Eaux don’t be so crass mother, we are in Myer after all. If you must know, he’s up on the second floor, executing a performance of shitry.’

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  12. ronggly's avatar ronggly says:

    I was in Myer’s perfumerie the other day, pretending to select a cologne, while getting a free blast of Dune onto my watch band, when two heavily-bearded homeless guys stopped nearby and proceeded to spray themselves from the test bottles. Within seconds they were covered in Christina Aguilera, Kouros, Kylie Minogue, Maybelline, DKNY, BVLGARi and (appropriately) Dunhill. The then laughed and flapped their way out onto the Hay St Mall. I have not seen anyone look so happy in ages. The staff were obviously used to this as they maintained a back-to-the-wall stance and let them go.

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  13. Shreiking Wombat's avatar Shreiking Wombat says:

    WTF is wrong with these people that they can’t put up a sign that says ‘Womens Toilet. Mens Toilet on second floor’?

    *bangs head on desk @ crap grammar*

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  14. Shreiking Wombat's avatar Shreiking Wombat says:

    I’m surprised they didn’t plonk ‘This is a Sign’ somewhere.

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  15. Paracleet's avatar Paracleet says:

    Surely that sign only precludes your average male punter from helping themselves to the soap and TP. It doesn’t specifically fobid their entry.

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  16. graham's avatar graham says:

    If it says ‘unauthorised toiletry’ does it mean ‘Don’t piss here, there is a toilet not far away’?

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  17. JaneZ's avatar JaneZ says:

    No way, toiletries are things like toothpaste and soap.

    “Please refrain from using unauthorised toiletry”, accordingly, must mean you can crap your heart out but you can’t bring your own soap.

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