West of the funny

Chris found this link to be the funniest he had seen for a long time. Funnier even than donkeys rooting Mason jars. Kerry Stokes apparently with a straight face claims that The West may charge for online content. Today they had Britney on the front page. I would have paid for their breaking news of a motorcycle hit by bus in Tapping. Murray’s blog is also worth paying money for.  I didn’t even know there was such a place as Tapping. Probably falls into the “Perth suburbs that don’t exist” category, like Darch. If Darch did exist, wouldn’t they have named it something other than Darch?

Can anyone see anything here that they would actually pay for?

And I feel I didn’t get enough recognition for my tweet into the Sydney media140 conference yesterday.THIS is the future of journalism.

Butcher to #media140 – Journos should try cheaper cuts of meat. Rabbit, brisket and neck were delicious alternatives for redundant media professionals

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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75 Responses to West of the funny

  1. skink says:

    The West’s online content only consists of two stories about RTA’s and a couple of inane bloggers, the rest of it is from Channel 7 or off the wire.

    I assume that Stokes is actually talking about all his content being charged for, and the West just have to tag along.

    I particularly like the story ‘Belmont near miss’

    “Xuekun, who did not want her surname published…”

    I guess there must be several people in Belmont named Xuekun in Boulter Place with a ute in their living room.

    actually, that’s entirley possible

    Like

  2. JaneZ says:

    There is also said to be a suburb called Success. As if.

    And as for ter West, I won’t even pay for the print version.

    Like

    • ChaingeDaile says:

      My partner comes from Success. It’s an offshoot of CockBurn. The trendies must of gotten sick of the friction burn jokes etc and asked for a rename of their wanky part of Cockburn suburbia.

      Like

      • Big Ramifications says:

        Suck Ces > Cock Burn?

        Top work, suburb name-changing trendies!!!

        Like

        • Frank Calabrese says:

          And you can add dodgy West Midland being changed to the more yuppified “Woodbridge” as well to the list.

          Like

        • ChaingeDaile says:

          Highlights of Success = Algae Infested Pond, complete with plastic bags and ducks walking on surface. Scent is optional, depending on whether you have the sunroof of your Jeep Cherokee/ Chrsyler 300 open.
          Success, Gateway to CockBurn, as the signs proclaim, is a entry to all things raw, red and infected.

          Like

      • Bento says:

        The suburb of Success is proof that rumours of irony’s death have been greatly exaggerated.

        Like

  3. skink says:

    actually, since mrs skink is a former journo who went into PR, we particularly enjoyed your FIFO tweet.

    the move into PR was more a result of the attitude of the media than the PR industry.

    when she returned to Perth after 6 years as a TV news producer in London, she was told: ‘ you might have a lot of experience in London, but that doesn”t mean anything in Perth.”

    fucktards

    Like

  4. Snuff says:

    Everything. Ol’ Rupe’s succinct, TLA, if delusional. Actually, that’s not true. He doesn’t believe a syllable of the crap he’s spouting. He just hopes others do.

    Personally, I’d rather listen to Eric and Clay. I wonder what a dissection of the West would look like ?

    Like

  5. Slanderer says:

    And while we’re on the subject of local media diversity, has anyone noticed that the government has found some digital bandwidth for Channel 31, at least over East?

    Can someone who actually wants to run a community television station find Hendy Cowan and tell him we want the licence back?

    Like

  6. Gaiamara says:

    I totally agree with you, Slanderer! It’s pure ridiculousness that Perth doesn’t have a Community Television station.

    Heh, what am I thinking? This is Perth. Of course we don’t.

    Surprising that we’ve moved on from Morse code…

    Like

    • CB One says:

      …. .- …- . / .— — ..- .-. -. .- .-.. .. … – … / … – — .–. .–. . -.. / ..- … .. -. –. / — — .-. … . / -.-. — -.. . / – — / … ..- -… — .. – / .- .-. – .. -.-. .-.. . … ..–..

      Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Umm, yes we do, and it will be Digital only from March 1st :-) And with a Board which include John Hyde & Grant Woodhams no less :-)

      http://www.wtvperth.com.au

      Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Obviously you didn’t read Conroy’s media release properly :-)

      The Perth Licence is a Digital Only service :-)

      Like

    • Big Ramifications says:

      Is this a good thing or a bad thing……?

      Community Television = former B listers [eg. ex newsreader Chrissie Morrison or whatever the hell her name was] and Poms.

      What’s up with all the Poms on community TV and radio?

      And B/C/D listers?

      Like

  7. 13th Oyster says:

    A paywall for Teh West would be a blessing – readership would plummet, and that can only be a good thing.

    Like

  8. Rolly says:

    Is there such a beastie as a website where all the government ads and announcements that make up a big portion of the advertising revenue, are easily and quickly accessable without cost?
    Such a site would make buying the West unnecessary for the many people who only buy it for that content.

    Job opportunity anyone?

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      There is, and it’s called http://www.jobs.wa.gov.au – The West only publish the bare bones job ad and direct you to there – hence the West going all feral against Labor when Gallop moved the jobs online – but then again you’d get all the people who don’t have the intertubes complaining etc.

      Like

      • Rolly says:

        I was thinking not only of jobs, Frank, but the whole raft of govt. adverts; like auctions, legislative and regulation changes, land releases, compulsory reclamation, plans etc. for public perusal and comment and so on.
        If all these things were on one site, properly indexed, with a page devoted to ‘recent additions’, then a whole heap of trees could be saved :)

        Like

      • Rolly says:

        For those who do not have access to the www then copies could be printed and made available at local libraries.

        Like

  9. Big Ramifications says:

    I’m honestly not trying to troll here……

    But journalism as we know it is DEAD. Dead man walking. Coward’s death of a thousand cuts. But nevertheless: dead.

    Go check the theories of “motivation.” Waaay too many people are gonna do this shit for free. Smart people, too. Then throw in a “readers’ comments section” after each article. One without heavy handed “eeewww, we might get sued, comments about Our Shapelle have been disabled for legal reasons, eeeeeeeeeeewwww won’t somebody think of the children?!”

    People might earn a quid out of it, don’t get me wrong. Andrew Sullivan, anyone? But you won’t be getting MUSLIMS earning lots of money by owning journalism portals and clicking the ticket.

    Like

  10. Big Ramifications says:

    But you won’t be getting MUSLIMS earning lots of money

    Sorry, I meant: MONGOLIANS.

    Like

  11. Big Ramifications says:

    But you won’t be getting MUSLIMS earning lots of money

    Sorry, I meant: MONGOLIANS.

    Sorry, I really meant MOGULS.

    Like

  12. Haven’t heard any media types writing in about who spewed and who didn’t at the media ball on Saturday. What happens in the handbasin at the media ball stays in the basin at the media ball?

    Like

  13. Pingback: Big Ramifications – backtype | CockBot

  14. skink says:

    now that Big Pam has retired form the West, I see from Saturday’s paper that Belle Taylor has been given the job of writing articles about how dog people are different from cat people

    Belle, your future is mapped out for you. Mumsyness is lurking just around the corner

    quick, hide the Tim-Tams

    Like

    • shazza says:

      I think your’e being a little unfair skink. I suspect she is doing precisely what she was employed to.

      Like

      • skink says:

        you could say the same about Armstrong, Nurry, and ‘don’t mess with the Zoltan’. it’s not their fault they write inane drivel, they are only catering to their inane drooling readership.

        I can just imagine McCarthy trying to decide who has to write the family articles now that Phillips and Casellas are gone, and Belle Taylor pleading

        “why does it have to be me? when will I get the chance to finish my undercover article into police corruption and submit it for a Walkley?”

        ‘well, someone has to do it, and you are obviously a woman, so are clearly the most qualified.

        Now that we’ve weened Nurry off his little doggy stories we have to keep him busy with climate change and shit, so you get the dog and cat and kiddy stuff.

        Try to make it charming. And don’t use any of that teenage speak such as ‘like’ and ‘whatever’, since it alienates the over 55’s. They are the only people that actually pay for this rag.

        We tried Daniel Hatch doing stories about recreational drug use and binge drinking, and it scared the shit out of them. It’s the quilting carnival next week.”

        the baton has been passed

        Like

  15. “Stuff.There’s just so much of it. And I, for one, want less of it. It started when I moved house about a year ago. I packed up all my stuff, stuffed it into a truck, unloaded it at my new flat and set about finding places in which to stuff all my stuff….”

    This is DEFINITELY worth paying for.

    Like

  16. Frank Calabrese says:

    Ex Daniel Hatch’s Twitter – zoltan has finished up at the West.

    Daniel_Hatch

    The newsroom’s new Friday tradition – farewelling staff – continues with the golden Yas and the veteran Zoltan saying goodbye. 2 minutes ago from web

    Like

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