Wankeurs

I thought I had exhausted Inside Cover and The West rants for now, until Jian sent me their caption competition winner from last week. Japs? Really? Can we expect a photo of an old wall so “chinks” or even “dykes” can be worked in?

Japs? Really?

Japs? Really?

And the day afterI joked about Broadfield “getting wind” of another double parked car, IC does indeed run a follow up to their incredible “car parked in bus bay” expose. Wot fuck going on?

Also, did anyone read Broadfield’s cringeworthy food review of Parliament House dining room in The weekend West mag? The one where he takes IC colleague Daniel Hatch along as if he’s bestowing some noblesse oblige on the poor bastard. Noblesse oblige is French Mr Broadfield, like the word “wankeur”.

“Young Hatch, who’s background is rural, impressed us with his knowledge of all things fodder…” Fuck off you patronising cunt! I assume it shows just how badly “Young Hatch” needs the job that he didn’t ram the Dahl Gram Salmon up Broadfield’s left nostril.  And how does a kitchen where you’d have to “pay him to eat the food'” get a 14 out of 20, which according to his chart is a reccommendation?

On the bright side, you can’t help but applaud the “silken voiced public servant’ who told the the IC crew to fuck right off when they tried to take a photo of the dining room. Bravo.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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118 Responses to Wankeurs

  1. Frank Calabrese says:

    On the bright side, you can’t help but applaud the “silken voiced public servant’ who told the the IC crew to fuck right off when they tried to take a photo of the dining room. Bravo.

    I’m pretty sure they could’ve found an appropriate file photo, or asked if Parliament House could provide a photo for use ?

    Oh and short notice – Steve Gordon is talking to Dr Peter Harries tonight at I think 9pm on 6PR about the gistory of Perth Night Clubs in the 60’s and 70’s – expect La Tenda and Romanos to be mentioned.

    Like

  2. skink says:

    please don’t forget to mention the terrible piece about the possible sexuality of a TV weatherman, including a photo of him caught in a limp wristed pose.

    Now I know I was the one that christened the former editor Limpwrist, but that was a lame pun of mind-blowing sophistication compared to the awful seventies-era titterfilarious stereotyping undertaken there. I don’t get paid for it. and Armstrong was a phony trying to play the hard man.

    I was waiting for a John Inman/Frankie Howerd/Larry Grayson/Dick Emery/Danny LaRue/Kenneth Williams namecheck.

    Ooh you are awful but…no, you’re just awful.

    Like

  3. xald says:

    A good way to tell who you should and shouldn’t be talking to at a party or other social event in Perth is to let slip that you only read The West for the entertainment value: Anyone who asks you why and did not grow up in Perth might not be the best conversationalist.

    “More Japs”… bloody hell.

    Like

  4. curious says:

    And how does a kitchen where you’d have to “pay him to eat the food’” get a 14 out of 20, which according to his chart is a reccommendation?

    so he gets a repeat invite obviously.

    Like

  5. Cookster says:

    Tis a shame that the Broadfield review wasn’t taking place on the same day as my Sexpo pole dancing stunt http://tr.im/lRvj

    As DFOC can attest, they shut the blinds in the dining room so that the members’ wouldn’t be put off their Dahl Gram Salmon… but there was the odd peek.

    Like

  6. Seems to be a very old article (Outrage?) in the Post of Rob “Le Wankeur” Broadfield launching his book. Is it year 2000?

    Like

  7. orbea says:

    Dan Hatch escape plan. Broadfield dumped for blue screen shenanigans.

    http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/up/player/popup/?rn=12735368&cl=14364945&ch=&src=wan

    Like

  8. Bento says:

    I see Zoltan did another hard-hitting expose on mobile phone etiquette on the weekend. I’m glad I’m not that Blackberry guy in the piece – he’ll think twice before he takes his phone to a restaurant again.

    Like

  9. Peter Harries (Ph.D) says:

    Nice to see that Perth’s non-entities are still nearly alive and contributing to their own self aggrandisement! Hell of way to get your name in print!

    Like

  10. Mez says:

    wtf IS the “k”night “k”lub and is that bloke having a piss in the cabana in pic #20?

    Like

  11. Mez says:

    and who is Marty Gittens??

    Like

  12. skink says:

    and with regard to Inside Cover, I see today that after you have announced a moratorium on mildly amusing personalized licence plates, that IC has picked up the baton.

    you innovate, others imitate

    Like

  13. peter.harries@bigpond.com says:

    Having just reviewed the limited use of English words used by those who hide behind nick-names (except for Frank the Southern Italian who appears to be a fairly normal person) especially Shagga and Stink, the old maxim springs to mind. It doesn’t matter what your infriors say about you, as long as you are being noticed!

    Like

  14. peter.harries@bigpond.com says:

    Yes! Just testing to see if you are paying attention, there should be an ‘e’ in inferiors (and a she!)
    The Good Doctor

    Like

  15. skink says:

    I’ve got a Masters from Cambridge, cunt, so be careful who you’re calling inferior.
    Sixty fucking years to get a half-arsed doctorate from a fourth rate university? You fucking halfwit.

    wake up to yourself

    Like

    • valerie woodruffe Doctor Of Hairdressing, Beauty & Massage says:

      Thats not nice, bite your tongue if you cant say something nice about somebody. Thats what we were taught at the unversity of hairdressing and beauty in QLD

      Like

    • RubyRuby says:

      Western Australia. Where the College of Teachers / Department of Education say that the University of Melbourne isn’t on their list of approved education providers. How about you go and do an Arts degree at Curtin or ECU to make up for it?

      I think I now understand where they’re coming from.

      Far far superior institutions of learning over here…

      Like

      • skink says:

        the 351st best university in the world

        do they still hand out Curtin doctorates in showbags at the Royal Show?
        Harries got a party hat and a stick-on beard in his bag as well

        I assume Harries has been googling his own name again. I suspect he only posts under his own name so he gets more google hits

        I had a look at his CV on his website. As well as being a freemason, it says he is an ‘honorary minstrel’ to the SAS

        I now have a mental image of the SAS storming a beach-head and Harries popping up out of a foxhole in white gloves and blackface singing ‘Mammy’

        Like

      • langhorne87 says:

        Is ECU as prestigious as, say, Central Queensland University?

        Like

    • Doctor Peter Harries says:

      Oh! Really Stink?
      …and pray, what was your chosen discipline, obscene language perhaps? As I noted elsewhere, your favourite word is a contraction of Categorised As National Treasure! Pay closer attention to detail Dear Boy, I was 60 years of age when I commenced University Studies, after a lifetime of service to others! As I am not afraid to publish my email

      Like

      • Doctor Peter Harries says:

        …this website needs some attention! It deleted the following:
        …address you will doubtless furnish me with proof of your claim regarding academic achievement. Love, laughter and longevity,
        Doctor Pete

        Like

      • Bartender's Skills With a Manhatten says:

        His favorite word is “can’t?”

        Like

  16. skink says:

    since we’re discussing the quality of WA’s Universites…

    Twiggy Forrest introduced a lecture by Apple Founder Steve Wozniak in Perth today. Twiggy thinks WA could become a lot like California.

    “Forrest, who has made his fortune shipping dirt in bulk, would like to see, in turn, WA grow into “the smartest state in Asia”.

    “It’s the model we should be pursue,” he said.

    “We could create intellectual centres of excellence here, which could become hubs and examples for the rest of the world, which draws in the smartest people around the world to come and live here.”

    the first thing you’ll need then, Twiggy, is a decent university. California has four universities ranked in the top ten in the world: Caltech, Stanford, Berkeley and UCLA.

    UWA is ranked 189th in the world and only 7th in Australia. Curtin is ranked nearly 400th in the world, while ECU and Notre Dame don’t make the list.

    admittedly there is a massive population difference, but Twiggy’s fucking dreaming. I’d just like the talent pool in Perth to expand to the point where I can employ somebody that’s actually qualified to do the job advertised.

    Like

  17. Doctor Peter Harries says:

    P.S. I APOLOGISE TO YOU SKINK! JUST CHECKED THE DEFINITION OF YOUR ALIAS AND WAS NOT SURPRISED TO READ THAT YOUR NAMESAKE IS A SMALL, UNINTELLEGENT SCALY REPTILE WITH A PRE-DISPOSITION TO OPENING ITS MOUTH WIDELY WHEN DISTURBED! KEEP TAKING THE PILLS YOUNG MAN; HOPEFULLY AGE WILL PROVIDE SOME MODICUM OF RELIEF FOR YOUR ANIMOSITY!
    LOTS OF LOVE AND LOL!
    DOCTOR PETE THE ACE OF KLUBS

    Like

    • skink says:

      you really shouldn’t use all-caps, Peter

      it looks like you are shouting hysterically, like somebody losing an argument.

      Like

      • Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

        DO YOU THINK???

        I thought Dr Harries brought a much needed sense of discipline to the unstructured rabble that purports to pass as intelligent discourse here. I guess this role will, once again, have to be filled by TL101.

        Like

    • mrsstone says:

      You had to google what a skink is? Oh Pete, you silly old nincompoop.

      Like

  18. Andrew says:

    I know I’m late on this. Anyway:

    I did some work experience at The West Australian when I thought I might want to be a journalist. My desk was right near Rob Broadfield’s. I heard him say that he was in the mood to write a scathing review. Then he took recommendations for crappy restaurants at which he could dine. Then he wrote a scathing review.

    While he was saying and doing these things, he had a big smirk on his fat head. He is a true piece of shit.

    Like

  19. mezzzz says:

    ..and I don’t really want to incite anymore “bile” but I have been drinking heavily tonight and I can’t be fucked goggling Peter Harries (Ph.D)… so can someone please explain – who is he?

    Like

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