Special Edition Celebrity Fest

The Lazy Aussie was at the massive opening for The Shane Warne musical Saturday night, scanning the red (green) carpet for Perth celebrities. (Is Rick Hart really a celebrity?). Unless I missed them, there were two noteable Absentees. Barra and She-Ra. Shame.

Of course Patti Chong was there. No surprise. She would turn up to the opening of a sock drawer, but fashion wise, her outfit was fine. Really. A quite passable floral dress. I was a little disappointed she didn’t have one of the Merry’s costumes on.  She did stare at me a lot as if she was sizing me up as a possible Merry’s leather lover. Hard, hard looks.  Since I had already been hitting the free piss table, the stares kinda bounced off. Patti, why didn’t you say hello? Why so shy?

warnepatti

I don’t know why I took a shot of Dixie Marshall, as I quite like her, and she’s not a worst in my book, but that bag? With that dress?  If Patti is getting the fashion points over you Dixie, then rethink. On the other hand, keep up all the not worst work.

Dixie Marshall

Dixie Marshall

Here I am with an unknown hipster. He’s connected with the pharmaceutical industry. Apparently. In some way.

I am wearing a Ted Baker suit with an ultra fat Canton silk tie, presented to me by the grateful citizens of Guangzhou Prefecture. Really, it was. The knot you ask? A half Schminsor.

The Lazy Aussie with Unknown Hipster

The Lazy Aussie with Unknown Hipster

I have often wanted to include The Dockers in The Worst of Perth, as you don’t get much worse than those boys stinking up the town for the last decade or so. I haven’t so far because I prefer original photos. Now I’ve got one of Mark Harvey. He was either mumbling “It’s our year man.” or “Get that fucking camera out of my face arsehole!” Possibly the latter.

This will be our year

This will be our year

Unidentified theatre groupies.

Unidentified groupies

Unidentified groupies

And one last shot of Shane Warne Musical star Jolyon James who was superb as John the Indian bookie. This also gives you another view of Patti’s dress. And a spring roll.

John The BookieWhat a night!

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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68 Responses to Special Edition Celebrity Fest

  1. skink says:

    did Eddie Perfect have to fight Patti to get to the hair gel?

    with those two in the room it would have been slicker than a Queensland beach.

    Like

  2. Grrr says:

    He’s connected with the pharmaceutical industry.

    Say no more.
    Good man to know if I ever fall in with the Perthonalities.

    I have often wanted to include The Dockers in The Worst of Perth, as you don’t get much worse than those boys stinking up the town for the last decade or so.

    As Z-grade celebs in a G-grade town (they may have been in The West this weekend) or as football players?

    Of course, considering I only recognise Dixie, Patti and yourself in those shots, I may not be the right fellow to talk.

    Unidentified theatre groupies.

    Much more of that and you’ll be competing with Perth Street Chic.

    I’ll wait for Carey: The Musical.

    Like

  3. Cimbali says:

    “He’s connected with the pharmaceutical industry.”

    He certainly appears to have some sudafed about his person and it is interesting that he is being careful to keep his prints off the glass.

    “Unidentified theatre groupies.”

    I do believe the unidentified theatre goers are actually on work experience with TWOP. Their duties consisted of keeping TLA topped up with booze and garlic prawns and following La Chong into the ladies to check on her brand of hair gel.

    Like

  4. skink says:

    a special ‘tosser of the day’ acknowledgement should be given to the reviewer in the West, who worked hard to wedge the word ‘hagiography’ into his review.

    since the word has appeared in every review of the show, I suspect that it is in the press pack.

    http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/theatre-dance/features/shane-warne-the-musical-1048567.html

    Like

  5. meccano101 says:

    It was a great night, lovely to see you there L.A. I thought you may have been wearing your Paul Smith but the ted baker very nice. L.A what did you make of the audience. In general they are much more reserved than an eastern states audiences. There seemed to be a real “impress me” thing going on. Do you think that Perth is so culturally overloaded that nothing really turns them on anymore?

    Like

    • Well, Rick Hart would have a certain wet blanket effect on any crowd no? What did I make of them? Apart from the celebrities I was thinking, “Look at them. Look at them all, the junkies and prostitutes…”

      “Do you think that Perth is so culturally overloaded that nothing really turns them on anymore?”

      Yes… Yes I do.

      Like

  6. Groucho says:

    It all looks too familyiar…. and speaking of the Dockers, doesn’t the shortlegged boyfriend look like a young Shane McManus ?

    Did Ted know you were wearing his suit ?

    Like

  7. skink says:

    nothing really turns them on?

    what, not even a mini spring roll, the nonpareil of nibbles?

    oh, how jaded we have become.

    Like

    • Grrr says:

      Jaded? Bored?
      Or, as I like to call it: The Barnett Effect.

      It used to be called The Shave Effect, after Dashing Doug, but he’s gone.

      Carps is gone… (or mostly snoozing), Armstrong’s gone from The West…

      A ferris wheel on the Swan just isn’t going to cut it.

      Like

    • Snuff says:

      That’s no mini spring roll, skink. That’s a flipped bird.

      Like

  8. Cockster, where was Barra? He chicken out?

    Like

    • Cookster says:

      Okay, enough of the Cockster please Mr Lezzy Arsey if you may.

      Not sure what Barra was up to, probably removing graffiti in East Perth all evening.

      I too agree that Perth is a cultural sponge that simply cannot absorb any more. For example, I was at the young lad’s cricket wind up last night and can report that the ‘pie night’ is a thing of the past.

      Yes indeed, I was dining on grilled garlic prawns and thin crust pizza washed down with a very drinkable riesling. I noted Geoff Hutchison in the crowd enjoying a chilled Boags. Maybe Barra was somewhere in the mix?

      Like

    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      Yeah the Thunder in the Chunder square off was a no show. The person I now like to refer to as “Merry” doesn’t look too merry , with a stare that could kill a rabbit. Harvey merely trying to imitate Merries. Good to see the non entities referred as somebody , nobody , soapie backdrop , unidentified moving object , prostitute or drug dealer. Dixie , of course , gets in because of her connection with Mars.

      Like

  9. skink says:

    John Bellend in the Worst says that he “was surprised at the absolute lack of glamour in the audience.

    I expected there would have been blokes in tuxedos and women dolled up in their flashiest frock but…it was a bogan crowd.”

    clearly he missed your suit and Dixie’s shimmering potato sack.

    http://blogs.thewest.com.au/sport/john-townsend-perfect-script-for-life-of-warne/

    Like

    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      Not a good review Skink , he didn’t mention hagiography. I think he did mention the music hall was about Shane Warne. As for Dixie she is from Mars after all.

      Like

    • Yes, blokes with untucked fucking shirts! Not a tux in sight. It was an embarrassment an an outrage. Mark Harvey. Would a tie have killed you? You go to a gala opening looking like that? At least La Chong and Dixie made the effort, the rest looked like they were in line to the toilets at the footy. WAFL footy. Thongs wouldn’t have surprised me.

      Like

  10. Bento says:

    The pics conspicuously do not show whether you are wearing cufflinks. We demand an answer.

    Like

  11. David Cohen says:

    Why are you giving the pill hipster a pat on the back?

    What is the piece of paper in Dixie’s hand?

    Is the spring roll vegetarian?

    Is the woman in front of La Chong throwing up?

    The venue for this night of nights was…?

    Like

    • The cufflinks were on.

      Why are you giving the pill hipster a pat on the back?
      I’m not. I have my hand on the rail.

      What is the piece of paper in Dixie’s hand?
      Her ticket

      Is the spring roll vegetarian?
      Yes

      Is the woman in front of La Chong throwing up?
      Don’t think so.

      The venue for this night of nights was…?
      The Regal in Subi.

      Like

  12. Johnny Nonation says:

    Oh yes!!! Every life should be a musical – unless you’re Madeleine McCann. Did they have that bit in the musical where Warnie was ‘out’ with lovely gals here in Perth? When are they doing a musical equivalent of the Marquis de Sade? Then I shall attend such a sadistic event.

    Like

  13. David Cohen says:

    What happened to Warnie after he took that diuretic was bad.

    But…

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Yes, La Chong would be the first to defend Warnie in any legal proceedings.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        Speaking of La Chong/Merry, perhaps what Perth is screaming out for is the stage version of her amazing life. The mind boggles when considering the possible titles for that play. And perhaps the lead could be played by the woman (assuming it was a woman) who won the La Chong lookalike contest (you know, the one Patti placed third in).

        Like

    • Bento says:

      I was born a Colin ‘Funky’ Miller man, and I’ll die …

      Like

  14. Joe says:

    Check out that monobrow in the background of the first pic.
    And look at those boaring eyes!

    Like

  15. David Cohen says:

    You look natty, TLA, but you could be trying harder.

    Dame Edna has the Opera House glasses and the koala dresses…when are we going to see you in a palm tree print safari suit, or a caftan modelled on the Hyatt?

    Sew them and they will come.

    Also, wouldn’t “Our Nikki” have been the ideal person to accompany you to the SWTM opener?

    Like

  16. my ning says:

    Another media personality who would have fitted in was ex Sunday Grimeser Lee Tate. I was on a junket with him a few years ago and he surprised me – he was a genuine hoot.

    Like

  17. Big Ramifications says:

    Groucho – I reckon the shortlegged boyfriend looks more like a young Richard Neville of Oz Magazine fame.

    LA – if you took a photo of Dixie with 2 other ladies then you could have titled it: Chicks with Dix. Please lift your game.

    Rai Fazio for GG!

    Like

  18. rhubarb says:

    ANOTHER WHISPER FROM THE WEST…

    From: Bob Cronin
    Sent: Tuesday, 24 March 2009 5:30 PM
    To: West CCI
    Subject: Staff changes

    Rob Broadfield is moving to Page 2 which he will redesign and take in a new direction. He will also continue as Perth’s pre-eminent food reviewer.
    Julie Hosking will become editor of West Weekend Magazine.
    Neale Prior will become television editor.
    Ben O’Shea will become editor of a new magazine to run in The West on Thursdays.
    Simon Collins remains Perth’s pre-eminent music editor and will contribute to the new magazine, Today and the front of the paper.
    These changes will be implemented progressively over the next two weeks.

    R E Cronin
    Group Editor-in-Chief
    West Australian Newspapers Limited
    50 Hasler Road, Osborne Park, WA 6017
    bob.cronin@wanews.com.au

    Like

  19. Cookster says:

    Rhubarb, is this fair dinkum, or am I missing the joke here?

    Like

  20. skink says:

    no mention is made of Paul Murray continuing as Perth’s pre-eminent bullshit artist,

    or Ben O’Shea’s sideburns continuing as Perth’s pre-eminent style guru

    Like

    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      pre-mnm ? Julie Hosking ,Neale Prior ,Ben O’Shea all pre-mnm gets you the quinella. Paul Murray most likely a scratching ( or minor irritation).

      Like

  21. Dex says:

    Where’s Basil Zempalis.

    Only in Perth could he be a celebrity.

    Like

  22. The Legend 101 says:

    Good Question Dex where the hell is he?

    Like

  23. Zuben says:

    Subiaco : whore of babylon

    Like

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