Hell in Helena Valley

Lovely shots from Ms K of some amateur sculpturing in Helena Valley. Somehow I still prefer them to the Smiths’ Perth stuff. Now Ms K, I should point out that a veteran Worst capturer would have zeroed straight in on the obvious map of Tassie in the background, but never mind, I enlarged the portion for you. By the way, is map of Tassie a vanished worst these days? Has anyone seen one lately.



About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst art, worst sculpture and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Hell in Helena Valley

  1. Grrr says:

    If its in a yard and not being used to litter on a public space I couldn’t count it a worst.

    We need more eccentrics in the world.

    Although the knee-grabbing pensioner is a bit of a concern.

    And why doesn’t Wilma has a chair. A feminist critique is required…. stat.


  2. steve says:

    What the hell is that coming out of wonder womans head? Looks like a giant fucktard.


  3. Snuff says:

    I haven’t checked the fine print, Grrr, but if that’s not worst of the highest order, I’ll go he.

    Palm trees, nudity, a man being served a giant Sunday roast by a subservient midget whilst having his mind probed by a dinosaur’s tongue, an old bloke in stubbies and socks going the grope on what may be a hiphop dancing, Mr Curly f***me booted Wonder Woman, and a rabbit … boozies … ummm … someone will have to explain the last one for me.

    (Oh, I notice it’s tagged helenemermaid, yet I’m still none the wiser. I am, however, reminded to fire off a shot to you, TLA, of a giant possibly worst mermaid I snapped in Okinawa recently.)

    And so to the map of Tassie. Although the popularity of the Brazilian seems to have rendered them fairly thin on the ground these days, I was admiring this Wembley Ware just two days ago.


  4. cimbali says:

    Saw the first pic and was impressed and of course expected the close up of the tassie but nothing could prepare me for the slow unscrolling of wonder womans legs!
    My Lord, I have never been so surprised since my kids had a split page book that allowed you to pair up the top half of a giraffe with the bottom of a walrus.
    Do you reckon, if you got on the end you could blow her like an alpine horn?


  5. cimbali says:

    BTW not sure why the popularity of brazilians should mean the demise of the map of tasmania when you could actually request a geographically correct version – or even a topographically correct one.
    You could then tattoo in “here be dragons” and the little man with the pursed lips to represent the wind from the south.


  6. Rolly says:

    Totally puerile.

    Any more?


  7. Groucho says:

    I thought it was a topless Alice In Wonderland, not a mermaid…obviously the rabbit threw me off….or was it the excitement ?


  8. Bento says:

    Once again, it’s the palm trees that set off the whole tableau, is it not, DFOC?

    Wow. Just, wow.


  9. I have a horrible feeling that those mer-boozies might be designed to spurt into that bowl.


  10. skink says:

    Wonder Woman reminds me of ‘The Thing’ with hideous tentacles sprouting from her head and feet, except of course The Thing was not fondled by an old man in black socks


  11. Snuff says:

    Perspicacious as always, TLA. I thought they were bandaids for dodgy piercings. We really need more information on this evil genius before it’s too late, and they rule the world.


  12. cimbali says:

    The marvellous thing about “The Thing” skink is that it could be the fondling old man in black socks as well – and nobody would know.


  13. Bento says:

    I love the various creative solutions to the ever-present problem of independent balance (as any childhood GI-Joe or Barbie owner would appreciate). Sitting down, mermaid tail, dinosaur tail, gigantic curly-wurly feet, old bloke in black socks – they’re all there!


  14. skink says:

    is the clamshell Venus washing her hair with Chianti?


  15. Snuff says:

    Even with the drinking, Barbie shouldn’t have too many balance problems with these puppies, Bento.


  16. David Cohen says:

    Indeed Bento. I can only suggest some papier mache palms would set off the real ones a treat.


  17. Snuff says:

    Do you reckon that thing next to Wonder Woman, (not the old bloke in the socks), is a palm, DFOC ?


  18. Zarquon says:

    That’s no map of Tasmania, it’s a cockle.


  19. Cookster says:

    That rabbit preparing a bucket bong for the little mermaid has extraordinarily long legs.

    Herring or occie the smoke of choice?


  20. David Cohen says:

    That mermaid has had so much Cathedral Rocks Special her hair has turned green/grey…


  21. cimbali says:

    Apparently this worst is on the front page of the local hills paper the Echo today. Our hasn’t arrived in the letterbox as yet, despite (or maybe because of) our letterbox not having had the shit kicked out of it as is usual after a Friday night. Maybe the lovely Ms K has some connection with this august newspaper – this would explain the semi cropped fondling old coot who may have been proudly extolling the virtues of his work for the reporter.


  22. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Maybe the lovely Ms K has some connection with this august newspaper – this would explain the semi cropped fondling old coot who may have been proudly extolling the virtues of his work for the reporter.]

    The Sculptor actually built our staircase in our house :-) and gets wine from our Winery which was the big news story of the week as well – the “Hero” is my Uncle :-)


  23. ten rage says:

    too much information frank…


  24. Grrr says:

    That’s not Wonder Woman. Not even the crap 1970s version: Diana Prince: Secret Agent or the TV version with Cathy Lee Crosby.

    No… I think it might be Titania (a brief member of the Fantastic Four in the 1960s), or based on the bustline and the complete lack of feet it could be a generic girl character from 1990s comic impressario Rob Liefeld.


  25. Rolly says:

    Hang on a bit; there’s a Frank post gone AWOL and an anachronistic change of posts.
    Very suss TLA considering the nature of the post.


    • Frank Calabrese says:


      Nothing sinister, as I requested that the post in question be removed as I had thought the reply would only go to the person in question and it had a rant which I thought wsn’t suitable for public consumption – it has nothing to do with the Sculptor – hes harmless.


  26. bcplanning says:

    Classic worst of Perth


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