Weekend Worstoff 33

Another weekend worstoff lite, as i’m still on international duties, but Snuff sees my dawgs yesterday, and raises me some Tokyo dumb chums. You can get away with this in Japan. It’s that type of place. You could leave your wallet on a bench and no-one would take it. I left my wife in a Tokyo park for 3 nights once, and no-one touched her. Nyuk nyuk. These dogs wouldn’t last a day in Perth.

tokyopets

And Dockerdave really doesn’t like the use of insured on this plaque.

insure

insure

And Rolly really liked this trailer full of junk in Scarborough. I like it too. It’s bad and yet it feels like Perth from overseas. Soothing.

freetippingcu2freetipping1

Be back soon. Worst well.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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21 Responses to Weekend Worstoff 33

  1. Snuff says:

    I hope NZ is continuing to treat you well, TLA, and thanks for posting the canine, (and at least one feline), catastrophe. With the obvious exception of the very, very, very nice Yakuza, (of whom, it must be said, petty crime is immeasurably beneath their dignity), you’re quite right about Japanese honesty. Although the locals predictably, and probably accurately, claim that it’s not what it used to be, when I first came here it was like stepping back into Perth’s 1960s, when nobody locked anything. Only then did it really dawn on me what had been forever lost … an assumption and expectation of honesty.

    Meanwhile, I’m somewhat disturbed by the conspicuous gap between the ‘t’ and the ‘s’ on Dockerdave’s plaque. I can’t see the shadow of an apostrophe, and yet they seem to have made room for one. A bob both ways, or are Perth’s dawg thieves also responsible for its infamous apostrophic dearth ?

    Furthermore, I can’t believe Rolly’s fridge is still sitting there when we all know it would make a perfectly good station gate letterbox.

    Like

  2. Vic Demised says:

    Snuff, I spotted the apostrophic ambiguity too. And “ties that bind our two countries together” is potentially tautological. Are two things ever bound apart?

    Re Rolly’s “fridge”: I had it pegged as a front-loading washing machine; an even better rural lettebox, as it could accomodate a bag of superphosophate.

    I don’t know if anyone would ever steal any of those ceramic canines in Snuff’s pic, as they’re probably secured there with liquid nails, and who would want one?. But how could yer average self-respecting bogan vandal pass up the opportunity of smashing the lot of them? Don’t they have bogans in Tokyo? An Aussie export opportunity perhaps.

    Like

  3. Rolly says:

    ‘snot a fridge, snuff, nor is a washing machine (not for clothes anyhow). ’tis a defunct dishwasher (like my ex-wives).
    It remains there even to this day, with a couple more contributions from anonymous donors.
    In 1971, my Duke Street neighbour was advised by the Real Estate agent that it would indeed be necessary to fit new locks around their house before advertising it for sale.
    They’d been living there for decades and had never locked the house nor their car. New locks were needed because they had never even had keys for the existing ones! The old one’s were found to be rusted up and/or made inoperative by successive generations of wasps clogging them with their mud nests.
    Alas and alack; nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

    Like

  4. Snuff says:

    You’ve posed some interesting question’s there, Vic. As for the ties that bind apart, there are apparently a number of websites which deal specifically with that kind of thing, so I’m not sure this is the best forum for an answer.

    Upon closer inspection, I think you may be right about Rolly’s whitegood. I can only surmise that these treasures are still there because the locals suspect the preloaded trove looks too good to be true, and is some kind of setup.

    I can assure you, as TLA mentioned, there’s no necessity to secure anything in these parts with nails, liquid or otherwise. As for bogan exports, mercifully few, I’m pleased to report. Here’s a few in Osaka, however, and this is how well they’re received.

    Like

  5. David Cohen says:

    I was castigated via SMS by TLA for not commenting today. We are in Smelbourne, but spent a delightful day doing the wine wanker thing in the bucolic verdant Yarra Valley.

    My wife took a photo of someone’s sick in the bathroom at Chandon, and I took a snap of apostrophe abuse on their signage. Will TLA deign to run these? Watch this space…

    Like

  6. Snuff says:

    Alas and alack indeed, Rolly. Now I want to know what happens in the last 6 minutes !

    Thanks for the identification of the whitegood, by the way. I’d started my reply to Vic, but then got waylayed, so I didn’t see your clarification until after I’d posted.

    Avagoodweegend.

    Like

  7. Rolly says:

    Donno Snuff. What I do know is that I’ma lacking a lass.

    Like

  8. Vic Demised says:

    Rolly “I’m lacking a lass” -perhaps there’s a clue in the parenthetic observation at the end of the first sentence in your first post above?

    My ex-wife had some disgusting habits, too. Eg: Every time I went to piss in the kitchen sink, it was full of dirty dishes! Can you credit it?

    Those Osaka punkoids are just a cheap Japanese replica of the true Morley bogan, Snuff. No doubt they’d cease to function a week after their waranty expired.

    David, I’m really looking forward to your wife’s shot of the recycled Chandon! I hope it’s laced with creme brulee, smoked salmon and the mandatory chopped carrots.

    Snuff -point taken about the ties that bind things apart. But let’s not go there; it might get us kicked out of ANZUS.

    Like

  9. poor lisa says:

    Duke St Subiaco Rolly? Now that used to be a good street. (It would be too good to be true if it were the street of early trois for Vic…)

    David you let your wife have a night off from doing the dishes so she can take pictures of people’s sick in the Yarra Valley? Now there’s a snag guys, take a leaf.

    Highgate has to keep its fake dogs behind bars… but they can sit on the sidewalk unmolested in one of the world’s most populated cities. This is a bogan nation.

    Like

  10. Vic Demised says:

    No, poor lisa, it was Rupert Street. Upmarket bogans only; ceramic dogs are still safe there. Apparently Peter Mickelberg lived in Rupert St at the time of the Mint Swindle.

    Like

  11. Snuff says:

    Duke Street does ring a bell, poor lisa, and Google maps show that the Catherine Street terraces are still there, albeit far flasher than when they were virtually squats. Anyone else ever party there ?

    Like

  12. Rolly says:

    Duke Street, Scarborough, folks!
    Far less illustrious, but immensely hospitable.
    The only person that I developed a dislike for was my own wife.
    There’s something in that, but I’m not sure what.

    Like

  13. Grrr says:

    I don’t think TWOP needs to do a Worst of Russia, but I’m going to leave these links here anyway as a Sunday treat:

    http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/02/nightmare-playgrounds.html
    http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2008/05/nightmare-playgrounds-part-2.html

    Like

  14. Snuff says:

    Speaking of “Dukes”, now I’m reminded of a ‘butch as f*ck’ steakbar in Kununurra by that name. Naturally, the walls were adorned with posters of Marion Morrison and other cowboy movie stars, so it was particularly popular with ringers and miners visiting town. The proprietors, a charming couple, never had the heart to tell them they’d chosen “Dukes” because their names were John and Wayne.

    Like

  15. Rolly, (damn this lack of numbers) was that wife 8 or #11?

    Like

  16. DC, I meant to take a pic of some Wellington vommy, but forgot. Lacked context.

    Like

  17. Rolly says:

    LA, she is ex #1.
    #’s 2 & 3 were living examples of “The triumph of hope over experience.”
    There’s no fool like an old fool; but young fools are even more foolish.

    Like

  18. Frank Calabrese says:

    From Fulvio Sammut over at Poll Bludger, who notes the stark difference in how The Worst are treating Law & Order Policies as proposed by the Barnett Government :-)

    The West Australian had a front page story on Saturday about the State Goverment adopting a policy of on the spot infringement notices for minor social offences, but including stealing and common assault among them. Nothing outrageous in the idea, the concept and reasoning behind it is clearly understandable,although treating any assault so apparently lightly would cause one at first blush to think.

    The West played this one with a straight bat, reporting the story fairly and straight forwardly, and making its own views clear in a separate, mild, opinion piece. Everything as it should be.

    What stood out starkly was the difference with which this bunch of putrid hacks would have treated the same story if it had arisen while Labor was in power.

    We would have been treated to a tirade of anti Labor vitriol, a never ending parade of photographs of old ladies sporting black eyes as a result of assault, a call to arms to demonstrate outside Parliament House, innumerable interviews with faux indignant Liberal politicians and assorted right wing shock jocks, strident, shrieking demands for the return of the lash, and column feet, not inches devoted to explaining how Labor is soft on crime.

    Stinking self serving hypocrites.

    http://blogs.crikey.com.au/pollbludger/2008/11/28/morgan-595-405/comment-page-6/#comment-219726

    Like

  19. Rolly says:

    Not wrong on that account, are they Frank.
    I only wish Poll Bludger would be equally vitriolic when the shoe is on the other foot.

    Like

  20. kate says:

    i happened to visit that pile of worst in scarborough yesterday (it’s near a phone box, on the site of the vanished worst starhaven caravan park). the dishwasher & tyres are gone!

    Like

  21. Busboy says:

    Sorry to spoil the fun, but “insure” is an established variant (albeit an uncommon and possibly outdated one) of “ensure.” If that was the grievance, well, there is actually nothing wrong with that plaque… apart from “gracious hospitality of West Aussies towards US sailors” being a euphemism for our promiscuous birds.

    Like

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