Lunchbox to Hell

Finally got a chance to see the long awaited and much hyped Bon Scott sculpture yesterday. (Had to get away from Beaufort street for a while). Oddly it’s stuck in the corner of a glorified fish and chip shop. (Cicerellos?) I don’t know if this is Bon’s “final resting place” or not. Please no.

Well what can I say? It’s not bad enough to be interesting, but not good enough to be interesting either. Reminds me a lot of the earnest, bland work of the Smith pair who have infested Perth with a huge number of earnest, bland but terrible bronzes. Lifesize realistic bronzes never, ever work. They always end up as a sort of apologetic diminishing of the subject. Only a totally over the top or even surreal piece is ever going to make a remarkable work. 20ft high this might have had something. Small, it looks sad. You’ve got to feel for the artists commissioned for these pieces. They know that getting the essence of the character cannot be done with a lifelike sculpture, but they also know that imagination deprived city administrators will never have the “kahunas” for something good. The artwork should be all about the larger than life features of the subject, something that painters seem to achieve more easily, but this type of sculpture never can be better than the strictly physical likeness. Sad. A sort of half realistic image of a shortarse in the corner of a chip shop. Also saw the mannequins below representing gaoler and prisoner at The Roundhouse. Somehow they were more satisfying than the Bon.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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24 Responses to Lunchbox to Hell

  1. Vic Demised says:

    Thanks for the lunchbox closeup, LA. I hadn’t realised that Bon wore shrink-wrapped denims.

    The roundhouse prisoner’s left arm is a giveaway -the pristine shirt-sleeve shows he was a gaoled public servant. Former deputy premier David Parker, maybe? Though the head looks more like Tom Baker. Perhaps the Tardis made a visit to Freo circa 1850? Maybe the colonists’ continual expression of their attitudes to the original inhabitants fooled the Doctor into thinking they were Daleks:


  2. squib says:

    I couldn’t agree more re: bronze statues never quite living up to their subjects

    Furthermore I’ve had it up to here with bronze statues of men in Freo


  3. What would have been fantastic is a gigantic sculpture of just the overstuffed flares. Now THAT could have worked well.


  4. Rolly says:

    “Furthermore I’ve had it up to here with bronze statues of men in Freo”

    Me too.

    I want life sized, flesh toned statues of well formed females, posed to provoke, in fantastically tactile silicon. Preferably internally warmed to blood temperature.

    Also, where exactly is ‘here’ as in “up to here”?


  5. well they’ve got the short armed John Curtin, (I think the infernal Smiths did thalidomide Curtin)

    and now the short-arsed Bon Scott down there Rolly.


  6. Big Ramifactions says:

    “Reminds me a lot of the earnest, bland work of the Smith pair who have infested Perth with a huge number of earnest, bland but terrible bronzes.”

    A perfect description of the Captain James Stirling statue. In primary school our whole year got buses into Perth just to see it. Also included was a wander up to see Allendale Square, one of Perth tallest and most truly amazing buildings at the time.

    33 storeys, baby. Count ’em.

    Last time I saw the poor old Captain some genius had half managed to vandalise the bronze sheet metal scroll he was holding.

    And maybe later on there was some mini scandal where he got moved and the PCC misplaced him or something?
    Here’s the rub to all you sculptors from someone who doesn’t know Jack Schmidt about art: When doing non-abstract human statues, make the bastards BIG. At least 1.5 scale.

    RIP James.


  7. Rolly says:

    Not the same LA. Not at all the same.


  8. Big Ramifactions says:

    Erm. Sorry. I sorta repeated the main post. I got up to the “bland statues” part and posted my comment before I finished reading the rest.

    There’s also a touch of psychology in it. Trying to make realistic humans, but not making them realistic enough actually causes fear and revulsion in some people.

    I think this effect was discovered by a Japenese robot maker and he coined it [dramatic music please] THE UNCANNY VALLEY!


  9. Snuff says:

    I’m with you on this one, TLA … size matters ! Perhaps some dancing midgets, a la Tap’s Stonehenge, might have helped, but I reckon just the giant lunchbox homage to cockrock is the way to go.

    Anyone who’s been to Cairns will know this unforgettable ‘worst’ >

    The charming salute really makes it.


  10. squib says:

    Up to the eyeballs or neck usually Rolly


  11. Michael Bridges says:

    I thought that the Statue of Bon Scott was made to honour the memory of Bon SCott who put Fremantle on the map. Having it in a Fish & Chip shop isn’t much of an honour to a Rock & Roll Legend.


  12. Snuff says:

    Fair call, Michael Bridges. Then again, given that it sounds like a decidedly lacklustre statue anyway, what more iconic location in Freo could they have chosen ? I’ve never seen the refurbished Cicerello’s, but to describe it as a fish and chip shop is like saying ACDC were a band. I notice on their website that “The inside eating area still has the hallmarks of the original Cicerello’s style with its concrete floor and laminex tables.” That’s the stuff.


  13. It’s big, and it’s on the water, but is still a giant fish and chip shop. The only other notable feature is multiple aquariums, including some on the way to the bog. It’s a tourist place for Japanesers to sample deep fried Aussie denizens of the deep. Asian Bon Scott followers may get a slight thrill. Bon may be inside to stop him getting a foot deep coating of seagull shit in a few minutes.


  14. Snuff says:

    Hmmm, TLA. Sounds like even the butcher’s paper, concrete and laminex can’t save it. I’m pleased to hear that the seagulls are still thriving, but it seems old Freo never recovered from Alan’s sailboat trophy. If Mills Record Bar was (is) still there, that’s where I’d stick Bon.


  15. “One night in a chip shop called The Shakin’ Hand,
    There was a hollow bronze short arsed rock and roll man…”


  16. Ljuke says:

    They should have gone all the way and made a bronze Bon in a bronze car, with a bronze bottle of Jacks, covered in bronze spew. Then just park it on the side of the road outside of Metro’s freo.


  17. I think it should be a bottle of Stone’s Green Ginger shouldn’t it? I seem to remember he claimed it as his favourite drink somewhere.


  18. Groucho says:

    He was quite a small bloke judging by the brass monkies in his pants. Salt and vinegar or just Rock an Roll


  19. The Bedford Crackpot Fraternity says:

    Ljuke I dont think you should stop at Metro…. the bronze car could be moved around the streets of Freo sort of “le Tour” style, one day its outside Hungry Jacks, next morning its in the Essex cinemas carpark?Why should cicerellos have all the fun?


  20. Frank Calabrese says:

    And here is Bon from his Bubblegum Days with the Valentines ( -and check out a young Burgo ) :-)


  21. Pingback: Bon Scott Owns This Land… « The Worst of Perth

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  23. The Legend 101 says:

    Who are theese people?


  24. Pingback: Busselton Bronze | The Worst of Perth

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