If you hear a rumbling from south of the river today, it will be Shazza exploding as she reads this. The hemp pizza boxes, the recycled South Sudan coffee beans, the carbon-neutral Arts Centre orgies, junkies dying as they read Heraclitus, trucks losing pools: they are all a bit of fly poop on an anchor of the ship that is the cultural juggernaut that is SS Teh Pert. Freo needs to go to Bunnings.
I give you my fart: this at a U-Dub construction site. Those young people need to go to Bunnings.
I can’t reveal the exact location of this ancient Rottnest rock art. Vandals may appear. Some of it dates back to the reign of King Toolie XXI. It doesn’t need to go to Bunnings.
The bloke whu dumped these clothes is well-hard. So hard he went to Bunnings, followed the step-by-step instructions, and is now harder than a week-old gluten-free South Terrace quinoa.
Harden well this weekend, TWoPers.
The Worst of Perth 
Why isn’t there a secessionist movement in Fremantle yet?
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The powerful ugg boot and joke tshirt conglomerates would never allow it.
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There will be blood on the Knutsford Street barricades yet.
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Following a spate of illegal dumping, Perth police are now questioning all ute drivers who have been to Bali in the last 10 years. A police spokesman said this may take some time but that recent electoral promises of up to 550 additional officers should assist. Particularly if they can catch the Metronet.
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Not Freo police. “Peace out, citizens!”
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Judging by that white t-shirt, they could narrow down their search to ute driving, Bali visiting Ex-Guildford Grammar School students.
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Disappointing there’s no cock graff carved into the stone to amaze our planet of the apes esque conquerors
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harder than a quinoa? and bigger?
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