Best of Twitter

Haven’t had a compilation of TWOP Twitter Gold for a while, although some say Twitter, like The Fringe Festival, is played.

Collie pins hopes on Incest Museum as brown coal’s future looks bleak…

Perth sushi train speeds “a joke”- State Govt limit on sushi train speed of .02kmh should be lifted to the Japanese standard of 25kmh an ECU…

Tim Minchin unrepentant as he helps abuse victims face Pell in Rome – home to 38,000 sex deprived priests. “It will be fine,” the comedian a…

Prominent sexologist “forgets where you put it” after head injury. Up to 8 hours a day of pornographic rehabilitation will be needed to reco…

“Jazz hands” critical in early humans struggle against Neanderthals. Complicated gestures not changes in climate or prey were the difference…

Robot priest not the solution to child abuse – Vatican. An electronic bishop developed by ECU can be easily hacked by pedophiles says WIRED…

“Shout At The Pussy”, Roger Moore’s 1985 autobiography is to be made into a movie starring Jude Law…

Refrigerated glory holes to be Perth Fringe sensation. Controversial liquid nitrogen cooled “holes” sponsored by Wesfarmers for 2015/16 Frin…

Continental breakfast may have Central Asian origins – Study. Europeans have described as “junk science” ECU research claiming Kazakhstan is…

River shark tagged, burnt. A bull shark seen in the Swan River got more than it bargained for as Guildford vandals graffitied and set it on…

US sausage roll craze distorts wood market. Woodchips once destined for paper mills are being converted to sawdust for sausage roll fillings…

Court hears Dyson Air Blade masturbator “unrepentant.” “As long as you don’t touch the sides, what’s the problem?” The Guildford man was fou…

Offering only a 10cm diameter suppository option for medical marijuana would “weed out the beatniks” – Minister. “If they’re really sick th…

Tech news: Hangis of the future may “float in air”. Hover technology will move traditional hangis out of the ground and into the space age…

 New citrus breeding techniques now make it possible for women to “wee on the lemon tree”. The FemLem’s narrow bushy shape allows a urination…

Man who only wipes his arse with Wiener Schnitzels, “May never be prosecuted”. RSPCA officials were “powerless” to stop a Darch man from wip…

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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13 Responses to Best of Twitter

  1. Misspent Yoof says:

    Don’t give up your day job.

    Like

  2. Sir Ron Humdrum says:

    If you hurry you”ll be able to beat Tim Minchin to the Cardinal Pell musical. The libretto will write itself , with the mad scene prolly taking a day to knock out. Casting the castrati will be the hard part.

    Like

  3. Zuben says:

    Her grace may never return to Australia much less Ballarat .

    When does Elle Decor do a feature on her Roman digs ?

    Like

  4. Zuben says:

    ( For when the doo doo is so deep that even Bunburying is not far enough away ! )

    Like

  5. Zuben says:

    … After all the available stock of young boys at the Vatican far exceeds that of even the best endowed Marist college in the Australian bush …

    Like

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