Fuck off it’s Winter

Kalamunda has retained its elderly zombie bogan vibe over the years, when you might have expected it to have become kind of artistic rustic. Quinoa has come late to this part of the world – although I have noticed The Haynes Street Larder was dishing out some Q. Kalamuntians were unaccountably trying to sit down in the place like it was Coles cafeteria rather than a hole in the wall. I didn’t notice any juices served in jars, but this will probably come to Kal in about 5 years.

The Larder is however a refreshingly normal place in a wasteland of a town.

I haven’t had that many Worsts from Kalamunda, even though it really is a terrible ugly craphole. It doesn’t have any outstanding Worsts. It’s all bad, but boringly so. How do you photograph the Dawn of the Dead that is Barberry Square?

I did however like how Kalamunda retailers are well out in front of the pack, with a kind of reverse Gruen transfer putting you into a grumpy trance before you even get into the shop.

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About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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27 Responses to Fuck off it’s Winter

  1. Plonka says:

    That’ll sort those pesky customers out. …….If the the owner had half a brain they’d have put a mark down sign up and charged double.

    Like

  2. GivDBird says:

    They had better fucken discount spring

    Like

  3. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    I would pay full retail for Winter in January or February.

    Like

  4. Sir Bill International says:

    I can just see Sir Davo and Buckelsd exchanging the finer details of AIBA rules with the “Oxford St business owners”
    .https://soundcloud.com/720abcperth/my-staff-had-been-subject-to-swearing-and-personal-abuse

    Like

  5. juantrak says:

    Those Kalamuntians should be thankful the shop isn’t owned by Gordon Ramsey.
    Then they’d get the message, delivered without ambiguity, and with no need for little signs.
    “IT’S FUCKING WINTER!! – YOU FUCKING DEADBEAT, BRAIN-DEAD FUCKWIT!!”
    “WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU FUCKING THINK I’D EVEN REMOTELY FUCKING CONSIDER, ANY FUCKING DISCOUNT ON ANY FUCKING WINTER STUFF IN THIS SHOP, IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING WINTER??!! – YOU FUCKING RETARD!!”
    “I OUGHT TO ARSEHOLE YOU UNCEREMONIOUSLY OUT OF THE SHOP, FOR EVEN ASKING SUCH A STUPID FUCKING MORONIC QUESTION, YOU FUCKING USELESS CUNT!!!”

    Like

  6. Bento says:

    Previous discussion of Barberry Square here. A couple of years ago, the Council got upset with me when I described it as “a barren wasteland” in a presentation to them.

    How has the 1/20 scale Eiffel Tower not graced these pages?

    Like

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