I Love Nurry

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About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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35 Responses to I Love Nurry

  1. Plonka says:

    It’s a fake. Breast implant gone wrong.

    Like

  2. orbea says:

    Scrotal saline infusion kit. Turn to page 57 for your free “Build-your-own-Paul-Nurrie” replica

    Like

  3. Rong1 says:

    Before scrolling down and seeing the whole picture, I thought it was tattooed on the cheek of someone’s butt, which would have been extremely apt.

    Like

  4. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    I was born a Zoltan man …

    Like

  5. Bento says:

    Pity they cropped out his other arm.

    Like

  6. rottobloggo says:

    Below the (skin)fold?

    Like

  7. Plonka says:

    Coz only a complete tit would do that. Or Kerry Stokes’s love child.

    Like

  8. GivDBird says:

    It matches “The Daily News” I’ve had tatted on my schlong for years.

    Like

  9. Plonka says:

    It’s not very long is it?………… The Daily News, that is.

    Like

  10. Dave says:

    I W The West Australian. With such well developed arm musculature, one could guess what the ‘W’ stands for.

    Like

  11. skink says:

    I see The West has run a full-page expose on the state of school toilets.

    where was Our Man in the Dunny? How did he get scooped by The West and Alannah MacTiernan?

    Like

  12. Plonka says:

    A piss head make a mess of toilets? Hmmmmmm.

    Like

  13. Plonka says:

    And with his seat fetish?

    Like

  14. My Ning says:

    When is a bribe not a bribe?
    By P Nurry

    I hate the fucking ABC-watching, Gillard-loving left so much that sometimes I let it cloud my judgement when it comes to semantics.

    Admittedly this is kind of strange given I make my living by pulling wordy semantic drivel out of my arse.

    Nevertheless I don’t care given I write under the assumption that most of my readership – those Labor voting lefties who don’t live anywhere near Allen Park – is made up of weak willed, numb skulled dills who simply can’t “get over” any issue that resembles a humanitarian crisis or alleged corruption.

    Today, for example, I successfully argued the case that the Abbott Government is not bribing people smugglers when Australian customs officials hand out wads of cash to the Indonesian boat owners who ferry illegal immigrants across the Indian Ocean to our shores. Why? Because they are not the “real” people smugglers.

    That’s right – the people smugglers are not the Indonesians, but those filthy Arab crooks from the Middle East who bribe officials and prey on the impoverished circumstances of the fishermen, who often end up as collateral victims of the dirty business when they are caught.

    And when I say filthy Arabs, on the whole I mean dirty Iranian spivs.

    The left has become so woolly-headed on this issue that they fail to see that by further paying these fishermen – who are already being paid to smuggle people, but don’t technically count as real people smugglers – the Abbott Government is clearly undermining the real smugglers’ business model by introducing a new level of uncertainty in the minds of the prospective customers.

    It’s a stroke of genius really – it’s so bold that it simply goes over the head of any idiot who can’t comprehend that someone who accepts money to smuggle people isn’t necessarily a people smuggler. There is a significant difference between the government paying criminal people smugglers and payments to hapless Indonesian crew members, usually fishermen, to abort a voyage.

    If anything, it’s sort of the same as shooting the messenger, and anyone who can’t make this distinction is, in my mind, a complete fucking clown.

    Some might say that I’m an Abbott apologist when I repeatedly say that this government’s boat turn back policy has been a success, despite the fact I’m only making assumptions thanks to the shroud of secrecy that surrounds Tony’s most popular (not to mention racist) election promise.

    And while the journalist in me wants more details, let me tell you dear reader that Nurry the pragmatist can understand that there are some activities in this area where both diplomacy and operational effectiveness require a level of secrecy – at least in the short term.

    Once again consistency eludes me, given I used to yell and spit at the meataxe hacks when I was editor of Tey Worst that it was their solemn duty to expose the truth by hook or by crook.

    Hopefully, no one thought I was being self deprecating when I said the debate around this incident has been “characterised by misinformation and misrepresentation”. Certainly any irony was unintended.

    Like

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