I see we had cock graffiti from Maylands yesterday: snore bore. It is time for a post with 100% western suburbs’ goodness. This is the standard of graffiti we have in the Golden Triangle: dated with Roman numerals. The sea of grass is in Johnston Street, Peppermint Grove; the wall FVK is between Napoleon and Jarrad Streets in Cottesloe.
The wall FVK is not far from Luke Power’s tattoo shop: yes, the Rock Machine president hopes to open his parlour in Cottesloe Village. Luke didn’t return the POST‘s calls last week – when will he lodge the paperwork with Cott council? He is calling it Ronin Indelible Aesthetic.
Speaking of the POST, I know two TWOPers at least have giggled in a juvenile manner over the recent report of a Friend of Hollywood Bush (Nedlands) taking armfuls of bongs to the bin. I took a lunchtime stroll there on Friday and was delighted to spot even more…
The dessicated litter in the background is a packet of CCs (nachos flavour): perfect for those midnight munchies!
I would have taken this, but it was kaput.
More evidence of criminality: perhaps Mr FVK was here?
The most harrowing image of all, taken on a train that had just pulled into Shenton Park. Down for the count – but at what price?
The Worst of Perth 
Bah to the Westies post.
I went to a servo in Dianella recently and asked for the air gauge for the tyres. They had the gauge and the hose all behind the counter – can’t leave the hose out, either gets nicked for retic, bongs or meth labs.
And I notice that Nedlands makes do with common garden hose…
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And that Wrong Way Go Back sign – is that because advancing will take you onwards… into a wall?
At what point do we truly have too many signs in the nanny state of Westralia?
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And and and… isn’t the sign kinda saying that you shouldn’t stop?
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You’ve had too many CCs, RR.
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Just a lack of ZZZ’z, Deefock.
Have finally seen a copy of Teh Post this week just gone, in a waiting room. Helped to pass the time in a nice way, playing spot the byline…
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Is FVKMXX stand for something?
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It’s Sunday, and I can’t be sure, and I am blocked from that hideous town on account of a horrible misunderstanding (It was my finest hour), and I am not an expert in reading, writing or arithmetic, but here’s where I think this story ends:
FVK could be some posh Hale or Trinity kid writing FUK in faux middle english, it could be the local “krew” (akin to the feared KGB of old), or it could be the signature or “tag” (if one speaks Jive) of the artist.
MMX allows us to date this scrawl not from the colonial days, when the Noognar elites fought the first battles to Keep Cott Low, but from last year.
But they probably don’t teach facts like that these days.
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I’d like to see the hoodlums of Perth put their powers to good and find a use for those Coles fingers that would outrage the grown ups and ultimately have them banned.
I’m not a criminal mastermind so all I can think of is spray painting around them, like the Aboriginal blokes used to do in ye olde times. You can probably get a nice buzz swallowing the paint before you spit it onto the hand, if that will help.
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Maylands? MAYLANDS?? That was a 100% Mount Lawley cock, Outrage. You Midland dwellers clearly have no idea about geography.
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Isn’t that on the maylands side of the border?
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It depends if the RE agent is trying to pull a swifty. But I do believe it is ML over Maylands.
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Yes it is. The border runs along the train line between Railway Pde and Whatley Cr. Mt Lawley’s border runs along the Railway Pde side.
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No it doesn’t. The Gables, the Hatchery and the Castle are all in Mt Lawley.
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Bento, I stand corrected! I was looking at the LGA borders, not the suburb border :) My apologies! You are correct, definitely Mt Lawley.
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I may get hopelessly lost anywhere north of the Barrio, or south of Bourbon Street, but I know where Mt Lawley begins and ends.
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Bourbon goes all the way to Dog Rock.
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Surely the Bourbon runs dry at Shepperton?
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But gets topped up at Williams.
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those coles hands are just plain creepy. and the ads just wrong.
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And their use of Status Quo a little outre too.
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When The Quo went on Spicks and Specks Messers Parfitt and Rossi made the claim that Myf Warhurst would look good on their boat.
I heartily concur.
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Would theirs be “Tubby, the Tugboat”?
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What are you trying to say Rolly?
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Maybe a reference to “motorboating”.
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Nope.
All wrong.
A direct reference to size and form.
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Rolly “no fat chicks” Roly Poly
and “boat” is cockney rhyming slang for “face”
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Myf’s too lovely for those scrawny old scrotes.
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Just to keep the grandmas on side, they’ve now appropriated Petula Clark, with “Downtown” becoming “Down Down”.
My local Coles (which insists to call itself “Coles Beechboro”, despite the fact it’s in the eastern edge of Morley…do they really want to be allied to slobs pushing prams chockfull of Maccas?) has undergone significant renovations, resplendent in their new corporate layout: when they were fitting new bay fixtures in each aisle, the items were dispersed almost randomly throughout the store, so it was a bit dubstep for a little while.
Maybe Coles need to lift something dubstep for a jingle to lure in the younger demographic beyond their tie-in with MasterChef.
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I think this is as close to a Hollywood drug problem as some of these Westie snots as they will come, thinking that by having a few crafty bongs out in the bushes near the cemetery will earn them the appellation of a rebel, even if they’re being groomed to ultimately become corporate lawyers, surgeons and MBAs at their private schools.
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They have surgeons at school?
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Ha ha, you know what I meant :)
Let’s face it, a higher-than-average quotient of those graduates of the private schools in that area will go on to become corporate lawyers, surgeons and MBAs once they’ve completed their tertiary studies, than pretty much anywhere else in Perth.
Just clarifying, lest you thought that I said that it was directly form there! But once they’ve attained those professional statuses, no doubt the days of having a crafty bong behind the War Cemetery as a 13 year-old will be but a hazy memory, as they by then would be able to procure A-grade Colombian marching powder, having a crafty toot between clients, invoking risible recollections of their “wasted” youth of Gatorade, Nylex and Lakeway Drive-In heads.
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Please. The elites of the Western Suburbs are into high end Colombian White. Snorted off mother-of-pearl toilet seats, or the various body parts of PLC/MLC/St Hilda’s/delete as appropriate girls in between trips to the OBH/Steves/Hula Bula Bar.
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Fairly accurate, Grrr, at least back in the day, although everything was on the menu. One of my 16 year old Hollywood High classmates, whom out of respect I shan’t name, casually overdosed on smack one afternoon, (which her mum had scored for her). As Robin Williams said, “Cocaine is God’s way of saying that you’re making too much money.”
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anything that makes you paranoid and impotent – mmm gimme more o that
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You wanna get even more paranoid and impotent??
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Yes I do. You can’t stop me. Any of you.
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clearly you have no idea of Robin Williams’ schtick, I’m happy for you to display your ignorance Roly Poly
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At Hollywood? Shoulda spent it on school fees
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Chip, meet shoulder, Bo’T?
Nice to see nothing’s changed down at the old boneyard, anyway.
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Nah, not as such, though I did work amongst the gentry for over seven years in the Western Suburbs, which simply confirmed for me that boganism knows no class boundaries; just because they come from a moneyed background (thus being more able to indulge in ostensibly more clarsy pursuits), that is no impediment to cultivating obnoxious attitudes that are the hallmarks of the bogan, be it the traditional types of the Bourbon Street corridor, or those of the nouveau riche who commute along the Stirling Highway.
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I’m glad I’m not the only one who remembers this abomination…I do seem to recall that this was the target of some serious pisstaking by the good folk of the D-Gen, singing a medley of songs and changing the lyrics to continue the theme of tearing Sylvania Waters to shreds…
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Not that you would want to make sweeping generalisations of course.
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No need in that neck of the
woodser Leafy Western Suburbs, they all seem to be either clones or incestuously related.Not too many outstanding individuals in evidence.
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Jesus, it’s like Rolly’s your dad.
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He learned well.
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This would never happen south of the river. They use buckets.
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I have a tendency to un-remember insignificant detail.
Filling your loaf with brace, as well as snorting it, is a rolls, not compulsory.
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Misplaced ref. to orbea the incomprehending.
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constant incomprehension and always losing your mobility scooter? happens when aging, Roly “not fat chicks” Poly confirms this
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Yeah! I suppose that a 1600cc Goldwing for mobility and Ulysses MC membership does sort of categorise me.
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“Goldwing” and “mobility” in a sentence!! Another First for TWOP
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One of those fuckers could haul a fully laden Baravan – If you pulled off all the panniers and other crap.
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Talking about Mayblands there was a bad house invation there the other day, Does this have anything do with it?, A better question is what the hell is FVKMM?
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Mayblands: brilliant.
Surely we can add that to the Street Guide of Perth Worsts?
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