Whoa, Pete F can really sniff out a publicly funded art donger. What can I do but serve them up? Pete F says, “Outside some collective shed & opposite Freo tafekuntz Sth Mole.” 
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The Worst of Perth 
Really, I don’t sit up waiting for these posts – I’m trying to use up my off-peak internet capacity by downloading
pornobscure 70s and 80s music after midnight, and just happen to check in here every now and again. Anyway, what an absolutely magnificent worst. The only thing the statue’s missing is plumbing ala its Mannekan Pis counterpart (and good luck looking that one up on Google Images, Snuff).LikeLike
*Manneken* :-)
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Manneken Skywalker?
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Worst-wise, hard to comPete….
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Complete with Rock
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I fucking hate this.
Mez I hope you had no involvement.
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On reflecting why I dislike this so much I realised, it immediately reminds me of this.
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Plus a certain amount of roll to kick off the day.
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Or both.
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Wow that really messes with my head Snuff.
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Well played Snuff.
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Was I just Rickrolled… or not? Is there an equivalent term for existential angst that covers this conundrum?
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They haven’t got the jap’s eye quite right, have they? I can’t see how he’d build up the requisite pressure to go ‘hands free’ as shown. Looks like a recipe for splashed shoes, if you ask me.
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Square ball-bag = square balls = cubes?
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Actually that is one of my favourite exhibits from this year’s Sculpture by the Sea in Cottesloe…
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So privately funded willy?
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Really DFOC? I thought it had been there for ages & was surprised it hadn’t been done before. Must go & rustle through my archives, I’m sure I’ve shot the collective shed before, steel penis may be in the background.
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Ah yes so it was. I wasnt a fan of the winner this year either. I may not know much about art, but I know what I don’t like.
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It’s the inhumanities.
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It might point out that the sucker has a very short piece of sawn off pipe for a cock so mebbe not a great win for him.
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I’m sure we all we would have preferred a giant rusty steel etching of Constable’s Haywain, but that’s the Arts illuminati for you.
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The best bit about the positioning at Cotts was the direct hit on Indiana… assuming a bit of wind assist, I suppose…
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I immediately formed the impression that it was sculptural representation of someone photo-bombing. Not my favourite exhibit at this years S.B.T.S. I like the stylized human figure in bronze just north of the clubhouse, by an African artist. The one with a hole through the middle of it’s torso.
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This was on the groyne at this year’s Sculpture By The Sea, I believe.
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i found it quite ugly.
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Many people don’t know this but that is exactly what the Easter Island statues looked like before the Dutch arrived them in the 1700’s.
Much like the obscene two finger gesture the English bowmen offered to the French soldiers, as cannibalism grew in popularity on Easter Island, the Rapanuians would wave their dongs about as a taunt to the invading cannibal tribes – who were rumoured to cut off the penis before cooking the flesh. Some sort of early cannibal homophobia one would assume.
The statues were built as a warning to would be cannibals to keep away, the modern day equivalent of a placard reading ‘down with this sort of thing’.
Dutch explorers were intimidated by the enormous penises and had the statues cut in half and buried in the ground. Hence the regimented formation we see them in today.
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This guy (or his clone) sat on the end of the groyne with his willy facing the teahouse and the rest of Cottesloe during Sculpture by the Sea.
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He’s called “Coast Guard”.
From the “Sculpture by the Sea” catalogue:
‘This work is part of the “Pawn Project” which considers the value and status of the pawn beyond the chess board.’
Should have left him on the groyne .
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A superb worst. Nice detail including his junk and an arse crack. All we’re missing is the touristy photo of some slapper pretending to be golden showered.
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The crack is a winner.
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Snuff?
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You rang ?
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You could easily attach a garden hose to create micturation effect
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Could be a problem that at some point this monster will require a bride, though how he would satisfy her is anyone’s guess.
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I did file this for the POST after SBTS had finished:
“Good art is not what it looks like, but what it does to us,” said photographer and sculptor Roy Adzak.
Thousands of people were affected by the art during the final weekend of this year’s Sculpture by the Sea at Cottesloe.
A stiff breeze didn’t stop people’s engagement with the art – especially Greg James’ giant steel “coast guard”, on the groyne, which “…considers the value and status of the pawn beyond the chessboard”.
“He has a doodle!” one youngster exclaimed.
“He looks like Sponge Bob Square Pants!” said another.
Another child was excited to note three artworks had doodles – and another had nuts.
The exhibition closed on Tuesday.
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I stand suitably chastised DFOC, I shall be sure & go cover for cover on the next Post.
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Oh yes Pete: you stand, like a giant steel coast guard, who is a mere pawn mute on the chessboard of life…
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we took the kids to SBTS. What a fucking nightmare. Huge crowds, no parking, bogans cutting laps, no facilities. Cottesloe Council did not appear to have done anything to assist the event. They need to turn that pissant golf course into a car park, build some decent bars and restaurants along the sea front, and some high rise hotels, if only to piss off the arrogant wankers who live there and think that Cottesloe is some sort of gated Liberal seniors community.
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You had to pay for the program to see the name of each knob modeller. I’ve never had to pay for it. Never.
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One of my close friends was an exhibitor at SBTS. As a consequence I was at the opening night hobnobbing with the likes of Russel Woolf.
Teh supply of free alcohol led to a late night swim.
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see what I mean? They’ll pay for free piss for assorted microcelebs and liggers, but not for adequate parking, toilets or refreshments for the taxpaying public.
I am indignant etc.
did they roll Russell back into the ocean shouting ‘quick, he’s drowning’ ?
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Fatties are really copping t this week.
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I was merely evening up the gender balance
I am an equal opportunities offender
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Good work Shazz, I support the late night swim. Aided by booze or not, I’m all for it no matter the occasion. Must be the labrador in me.
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The late night swim is a bit of physical Wintoning no?
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Naked? It’s got to be naked.
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No other way.
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I had to google who Russell Woolf was.
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If you’ve seen someone mounting a kerb – that was him.
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That’s a cunning way to say that you know the statue is of Rusty.
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I was checking for a ponytail.
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Sounds like my entry of a car wreck on fire impaled on the pylon would be a big crowd puller then Skink. Not sure why they won’t accept it. Oh well, always next year – I can put a doodle on it, that seems popular.
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They must have been your kids I overheard.
Afterwards the daddy-o said: “This isn’t much…just artworks and more artworks”.
No doubt you object to the number of people around you at the footy as well.
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not really. I watch The Glory
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same here, great selection of seats available, are you stumping up the ca$h again?
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probably – might upgrade to a better seat.
I really want a box with a waiter who brings you beer
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‘stiff breeze’ tee hee.
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Stiff breeze… groyne …. he he. Oh for the innocence of a small child who can still take pleasure in the simple things of life, like a doodle.
For me, this piece boldly thrust an albeit small wanger out to sea while exposing his metallic crack to teh small mindedness of the Keep Cott Low campaigners at work behind his arse seeking to preserve the tired, mediocre foreshore for those members of Perth’s outer suburban and outlaw biking community looking to have a couple of quiet beverages and throw someone through a window.
No progress in Perth. Anywhere. Ever.
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The Mediocrity of Cottesloe, a TWOP spin off.
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is the standard that high?
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Not if the “Keep Cott Low” crowd gets its way.
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“Thousands of people were affected by the art during the final weekend of this year’s Sculpture by the Sea at Cottesloe.”
I do not think “affected” means what the writer appears to think it means.
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Bring out the wince…
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Serious question:
Is there any good public art in Perth?
I don’t know enough about the city to see where the distinction is being drawn.
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In the tradition of tourism advertising in Perth, I set these up as a couple of decent examples of public art. About a day away north and east.
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no, they are both shite.
one of them looks like a Smiths ferchrissakes,
the other one looks like the worlds biggest tinfoil hat.
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Oh Lord, it is indeed a Smith
she has Vlamingh’s face
http://www.publicartaroundtheworld.com/Waiting_Woman_Statue.html
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I now understand what you mean by a “Smith”. I agree that there seem to be too many around Perth. However I would put the case that there may be a time and place for one of these bronzes, and that the HMAS Sydney Memorial in Geraldton, at sunset, with the sea breeze coming in… fits the bill.
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i particularly loathe that one.
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They are a a tidal wave of shit. I visited a uni in Hong Kong’s New territories and they have a fucking Smith as the entry statement. They have been nothing but a blight on our poor city.
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I tried to be fair, doing a little bit of web research to try to make a case for her.
“At least she lives in Perth” was my starting point.
Then I found her website… COMIC SANS?! I don’t care if you’re a sculptor, surely you have some sense of taste? Then again, considering the heading “Welcome to our world of creativity”, maybe not.
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Comic Sans Walsh-Smith
Kangaroos on the Terrace
Now I understand
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It’s the Burswood figurative stuff and the short armed John Curtin in Freo which are major crimes. And the fucking sundial next to the belltower. And all the rest.
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No, they suck arse, and I hate them all.
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RR, its Gormley by a long shot. There’s little else. You’ve provided a perfect example for teh bartender; come half way round the world, then drive for a day. Then go home. (Fowf) if you don’t think we’re tops.
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Wasn’t there a CY O’connor on horse somewhere in the sea? I seem to remember liking it.
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This one? Is it just the context or also the work itself? I hadn’t seen this before – not bad.
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The horse isn’t bad either – down at the old power station, South of South Beach.
Just down the road from my next submission – Public art meets Dept of Trans.
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that’s the CY O’Connor memorial.
I rather like it too,
it’s on the spot where he shot himself
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i believe it is at cy o’connor beach, wherever that may be.
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I don’t mind the new St George thing. Have I done that?
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no you haven’t
it is rather good, and chosen in preference to The Smiths
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Yep, if this is the one you mean. It’s no bin on a stick.
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My favourite part of the Gormley was the number of naff stubby holders we brought away with us – no souvenir shop, just ones we found as we wandered our ways around the lake bed.
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OT – nice work on the Twitter there, TLA.
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That is very strange, whats it spose to be?
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MUM?
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UR dum , dumer thn 101s, an u steelnig mi ides. Granma!
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I think your behind this TLA102, Its Strange as hell and very dirsturbing for me. P.S If you are behind the stupidness TLA102 please reply and own up A.S.A.P.
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