Bill and Dot’s bench venture

Natalia Fan#1 wanted to make his own Perth bench challenge from North Beach. Bill and Dot’s bencherisation starts sort of OK as a public service at a bus stop, but rapidly descends into insanity with an Eagles/Dockers number surrounded by animal friends. Jeez that Dockers logo is a stinker. Haven’t they dropped that abortion? The text on the football seat says,
“Rest-A-While
Seat donated by Russell family
Restored by Bill & Dot”.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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28 Responses to Bill and Dot’s bench venture

  1. pete says:

    Obviously they are still waiting for someone to donate the cyclone fence. Keep all the bloody animals out of your face.

    Like

  2. perthluckystar says:

    The first one at the bus stop is kind of cute, like the old couple of the neighbourhood are trying to look out for their neighbours. But the second one is just horrible. Poor design effort Bill + Dot. Is that an Aboriginal flag boomerang snuck in there above the Eagles side of the bench as well?

    Like

  3. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Tagging for pensioners.

    Like

    • perthluckystar says:

      Perhaps if there’s a rise in wild seniors behaviour we’ll see glasses on chains hanging over powerlines instead of sneakers. And perhaps graffiti of zimmer frames without an owner, “I <3 my Metformin" or "Dot is fugly skank!" scrawled on walls across Perth.

      Like

      • Bento says:

        Seniors graffiti would probably be more like “Dot gallivants about like she’s the Queen of Sheba”.

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        • Natalia Fan #1 says:

          Or: “Dot sux dogz dicks.” Mind you, my granny’s a Dot, and she’s the big 100 in August. We call her Teh Bantam, or Teh Bantam Menace, and several other things besides.

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          • perthluckystar says:

            Good on her making the big 100 NF#1! Is she looking forward to her letter from the Queen? Or couldn’t care less? My other half’s granny is 93 next month. She’s a Jean, not a Dot. To hear her talk you’d think she should have dropped dead 30 years ago. Sounds like yours is of a much fiestier breed.

            “Dot wears trousers like Katherine Hepburn” might be more appropriate perhaps in your granny’s case.

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        • perthluckystar says:

          True Bento, I didn’t think of that. Seniors don’t use the lingo kids do these days. “Dot is a Charleston-dancing knock-kneed floozy” would be more like it, eh.

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        • Natalia Fan #1 says:

          True story: Playing Scarbble with Teh Bantam Menace a couple of years ago. At one point she looks sheepish and asks “I’ve got a bit of a sexy word, can I use it?” Anyway, puts down C-U-N-T. Missus and I blush and don’t know where to look. TBM looks at me and says, “I don’t even know what that means.” Yeah right, but 98 yo at the time mind you. Next game, a week or two later, she put down D-O-X-Y, but admitted to knowing meaning of that one. Could go on here, but point of the story is that oldies are far more filthy than we typically give them credit for.

          Like

          • RubyRuby says:

            My grandmother taught me the C-word in the course of a game of scrabble many years ago. Couldn’t resist the three points…

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            • perthluckystar says:

              My grandmother would have died rather than use a word like that. She considered herself a good Christian woman and believed ladies don’t use that kind of language – her philosophy on that was lost on me!

              My friend’s mum who is a granny now, aged around 70 yrs and looking rather like the character Ogra from the 80’s movie The Dark Crystal, regularly uses the C-bomb in conversation. She’s also particularly fond of using the phrase “cock smoker”. She’s at her scariest when playing cards. There’s no cuss word she won’t use.

              Like

              • Rolly says:

                You might note the prevalence of the word “Coño” amongst elegant and cultured Spanish Ladies of a “certain age.”
                http://www.wordreference.com/es/en/translation.asp?spen=co%C3%B1o

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              • Natalia Fan #1 says:

                Love me Bantam, and her stories. Here’s a good one:

                Dot: I had a cousin in Adelaide, Daisy – never got married, but lived most of her life with Frank.
                NF1: That must have been a bit scandalous back in the 30s…
                Dot: Oh no, Frank was a woman. Francis her name was, but we all called her Frank.
                NF1: You don’t think they were lesbians or anything?
                Dot: Oh no, we didn’t have anything like that back then.

                Like

          • The Legend 103 says:

            your a prevert

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          • Bento says:

            Probably murdered her fair share of Krauts, too.

            Like

  4. Citizencains says:

    Ah, how cute. I see Perth’s commitment to all things bench continues unabated. Keep up the recumbent work. Is that an Aboriginal flag boomerang I see before me, or a breach of copyright?

    Like

  5. The Legend 101 says:

    I wonder who is Bill and Dot and was that seat decicated to them?

    Like

  6. Pingback: View to a Kill | The Worst of Perth

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