Beechboro makes me want to die

By David FO Cohen. Found in Beechboro McDonalds. Wordless I think.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in Uncategorisable Worsts and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

78 Responses to Beechboro makes me want to die

  1. Bag O'Turnips says:

    Life in Beechboro?

    I’m not lovin’ it.


  2. Bag O'Turnips says:

    And I thought that Morley could induce depressive episodes and ennui.

    Just remind yerself, Turnips, that it could be worse, living a mere two kilometres due North on Route 53. Different fucking world over there. Be grateful for small mercies.


  3. Snuff says:

    I wonder if it’s a Beechboro thang, TLA, or whether similar missives might be found in Maccas worldwide.


    • Snuff says:

      p.s. And this is clearly only a cry for help. As everyone knows, if their angst were serious, the word die would trail tragically off the edge of the page.

      p.p.s. Regarding the angst link; everyone will have their own favourites, but for mine, you can’t go past Bookworm gets Booty.


  4. shazza says:

    Beechboro is genuine worst. It’s Mad Max territory. I know it only because I regularly drove through on my way to Bandyup. Full of fucking Cocos.


  5. David Cohen says:

    I was moved by this juvenilia.

    I found it Kafkaesque.

    Except Kafka didn’t draw.

    Mind you anyone dining at that restaurant yesterday lunchtime would have despaired at the poor service.


  6. Hugh Jass says:

    Where’s cookster? I want my front lawn mowed.


  7. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Whoever the author of this missive, I hope they got the Happy Meal.


  8. Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

    The hecatomb of woe appears to have an extra storey.. but we could nitpick all day. Love the perky circled ‘i’s. Handwriting analysis reveals the hidden message: “I love ‘myself’ and so should you”.


    • I’m not even going to bother looking.


      • Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

        Let’s just say that There are plenty of good things happening in the City of Perth and Lisa Scaffidi is a powerful force of change who should be applauded for her work.


      • Grrr says:

        It’s a bit lazy.

        I mean, a real target is Kings Park.

        What’s with all those grassy hills and tree-lined, meandering streets in what could be the new millionaire’s suburb? How many Prix d’Amor’s or Swanmahals could you fit in there?

        What’s with all that undercapitalised real estate?

        Let’s dig it up and pave that over.

        High rise luxury for all high net worth individuals.


  9. Mike says:

    A young Charles Bukowski perhaps.


  10. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Less talk. More action.

    At least at the Claremont Hungry Jacks they would have used a Moleskine. Spiral bound? I’m not surprised.


    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      I live at the extreme edge of civilization, in northern Dianella. Standing in the watchtower I can see both Noranda and, a little beyond, Beechboro. I use spiral bound notebooks all the time. Could it be that I have that I have somehow been influenced by the bogbarians beyond the gates?


      • Jaidyn-Jaxxon says:

        Dianella- our Bossonian Marches. Though of noble blood, your drift into barbarism amidst the pictish wastes is only natural. Shudder to think what aeon-sunk forbidden secrets lie beneath the rust-brined cerements of the forgotten dust-enshrouded public libraries out that way..


        • Bag O'Turnips says:

          I have never felt sufficiently masochistic to cross and follow the line of Benara Road in order undertake a field study of Altone Park Library—at a joint facility by the municipalities of Swan and Bayswater—to confirm one’s very worst fears, that it might be a time capsule of 1996, fully intact, unless otherwise the Barbarians have sacked the building and scrawled genitalia on the pages of books loaned as prescribed of their Year 10 syllabus at Lockridge High, that remained otherwise unread.


        • Natalia Fan #1 says:

          That’s some fine Robert E. Howarding there JJ. Let the effete, decadent culture-vultures have their Lowry and Greene.


    • Snuff says:

      Absolutely, RWL. Spirax, for sure.


  11. Mez says:

    please don’t press play if you are easily annoyed


We can handle the worst

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