Graeme Turner Puzzle Ring – Come Ride The Peace Beard

Oh peace beard sounding louder
Glide on my peace beard
Come on now peace beard
Yes, peace beard holy  roller

Everyone jump on my peace beard
Come on now peace beard…  Cat Stevens, Peace Beard

I have been chasing this Perth Worst for a very long time. In about 1982 I had Graeme Turner as a Language & Culture tutor, where his most memorable words to us largely gormless first years were, “I’m not trying to convert you to Communism – not that it would do you any harm…” He is now to be found at the University of Queensland, and from time to time on Radio National, if the topic were to be say, “Kylie Minogue, a new paradigm, or hegemony in hotpants?” or “Ray Martin, post Grampsciist or complete cunt?”. I remember that Graeme’s folk album Puzzle Ring once littered the bargain bins, in the early 1980s, but was unable to find a copy until today. In fact it’s almost impossible to even find a mention of it.

Could I really have forgotten he had carved his beard and mo into a fucking peace symbol! How could I have forgotten that?! How could a peace beard have faded so quickly from the scene? Even Doug Parkinson wouldn’t have had the kahunas for that. I’m thinking that beard must have seen a lot of action. Who could resist “Not only do I have an album out baby, but cop the beard. Riding this beard just once is worth fifty freedom marches.”

I’m half tempted to plait my pubes into the first few verses of “War, what is it good for?” And the back cover? Shouldn’t the left one hang lower?

Ride on the peace beard

My peace beard Holly Roller

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst classics, worst music and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

101 Responses to Graeme Turner Puzzle Ring – Come Ride The Peace Beard

  1. Hugh Jass says:

    This was way before I was born. Therefore, I cannot confirm if this is a worst or not.

    I promise I did not stiff any chairs though.


  2. Mike says:

    Time Wounds All Heels. Tacky song title but I like it. Should have been the album title, instead of rubicsed anus.


  3. A peace symbol in 1980? Bit late.


  4. rolly says:

    ……and the relevance is?


  5. David Cohen says:

    I will be doing the same to my beard this morning.


  6. WAtching says:


    They don’t get tutors like that these days do they?

    Or do they Ljuke?


  7. skink says:

    is he the ripped Jesus?

    I tried shaving the anarchist A-in-a-circle into my goatee this morning and it went a bit wrong.

    I now have random bits of stubble on my chin and look like the victim of a barber with the DT’s


  8. poor lisa says:

    I’m feeling embarrassed just looking at this record. I think we need to know what it sounds like LA.


  9. Jaidyn-Jaxxon Taylor-Shanesmith says:

    When you OPEN with a Christmas song…


  10. There really should be some 30th Aniversary buzz around “Teh Ring” this year.


  11. Jaidyn-Jaxxon Taylor-Shanesmith says:

    ‘You’re my destiny, Ridge’


  12. Jaidyn-Jaxxon Taylor-Shanesmith says:

    “Hemp Condoms” bahahaha

    Did anyone else watch the televised apology? I think my favourite moments were ‘oh- twothreehundred dollas… I think no more than twothreehundreddollasss… Oh Oh I can’t confirm that by the way’ and then Dixie Marshall cutting in just as they started asking ‘does Colin know about the money? ‘cos you could be, you know, fired – dodged a bullet there, I thought he was going to start crying.

    That bit where he grunted like a hog was pretty good too. Carles should be crucified for slutting around with the resident pigman..


  13. skink says:

    that Wilson tweet is indeed gold

    any truth to the rumour that Troy asked Adele to shave her luxuriant muff into a portrait of Wilson Tuckey?


  14. my ning says:

    Yes Mr LA – I remember Dr Turner very well.

    Back in 1985 he gave me 4.4 out of 10 for an essay when I tried to argue that it was impossible to use Australian cinema of the 1970s to confirm (or was that to reconfirm?) the bourgeois hegenomy at work because the films were so fucking useless.

    Unfortunately, in my Strawman Plus One diatribe, I used the word “hegenomy” rather than “political” – silly me; I should have remembered that it was all a political struggle.

    And, according to one of my sources at the time, it was indeed all rather political on campus – Dr Turner left Curtin to go to Qld because he wasn’t on the unspoken short list to eventually replace the head of the English Dept (Brian someone or other, whose second name escapes me, but he did look very much like Karl Marx and he taught a unit on James Joyce).

    Apparently Dr Turner didn’t like being behind the likes of David Buchbinder, Margaret MacIntyre and Dellys Bird in the pecking order.

    Never listened to Puzzlering – on my last nite as a student, though, I asked the good Doc what his musical faves were. He said Steve Miller. When I asked him what he thought of Zappa, he looked at me quizically (with those crossed eyes) and asked: “He’s a bit too country and western, isn’t he?”

    Well – what does one expect from a man who was seen nodding approvingly while John Fiske wanked on about sandiotics and Cottelsoe beach during a crap communications lecture at WAIT circa April 1984???

    Having said that, I have nothing against either person….


  15. skink says:

    Buswell has gone

    the West are first out of the blocks with the story, but don’t seem to know whether he was sacked or whether Barney ‘accepted his resignation”

    no other news sites carrying it yet


  16. skink says:

    would you like to do the honours, Bento?


  17. my ning says:

    Apparently Barnster is going to take over as Treasurer – surely there’s a Sir Maul Potty article in there somewhere?


    • skink says:

      Murray did a wonderful column in today’s Worst which seemed to be a long dissertation about exactly why his newspaper completely missed this story and allowed the Times to scoop them

      apparently it was something to do with ‘new media values’

      was this the excuse he used when he missed the WA Inc story?


  18. poor lisa says:

    and political junkies are not aware of vexnews.


    • Bill O'Slatter says:

      You know who run Vexnews don’t you Lisa : that certifiable nutcase Slanderyou.


    • artheretic says:

      Landeryou reminds me of a 45 yera old balding gent in a polyester shirt at a singles bar dropping one liners in the hope he might pick up. 99 percent of the time he bombs out and goes home alone but occaisionally, just occaisionally he scores. Andrew got a root and he’s gonna tell you all about it!


  19. my ning says:

    Apparently one of the reasons the Worst missed WA Inc was the fact Motsa simply didn’t believe it was happening .. kind of hard to imagine as the stuff Tim Treadgold was writing in the business pages at the time was pretty spot on…..

    Still, one question remains: how is it conceivable that a man who, as the energy minister, was willing to scuttle Western Power to help get a steel mill up and running back in the late 1990s (before told to pull his head back in by the ACCC) now be put in charge of the state’s books?

    This is serious – anyone remember how mismanaged the finances were when ex-prem Dickie Court was also the budget guy? Indeed, one of the Worst’s final reasonable moments was when Anne Burns was publicly questioning a squirming Court Jnr about his budget blow outs just before the 2001 election.

    Anyone who sez the Barnster knows something about bizniz is a poor misguided fool….


    • Slanderer says:

      Every report on the event I read describes Buswell as highly intelligent or otherwise very talented. I don’t know the man, but from a distance I have not noticed any particular skills or abilities. Is anyone able to elaborate?

      Apropos the Barnster, I have heard nothing but grim mumblings from those who were taught by him at Curtin. Somehow he managed to fly under my radar…


      • Mez says:

        My public sector friends tell me he is easy to work with, not so much intelligent but more of a people person than most pollies. I recall Bill Clinton being described the same way.


      • poor lisa says:

        I think it’s a bit yes he’s somewhat above average intelligence (if you discount emotional intelligence of course) and capability, and it’s a bit if you look at him relative to rest of the people in the Liberal National caucus, he’s an allround genius. His loss will be quite serious to them which tells you something about the talent pool.


    • skink says:

      clearly Nurry is a man of integrity

      he will only cut and paste from authenticated sources and refuses the ‘new media values’ of cutting and pasting from any old shit he reads on the web.

      I do like all these folk who are lamenting the loss of a Treasurer they consider brilliant, with no mention of the Mexican standoff he had with Kim Hames over the $200m hole in the health budget

      I think Barney was in hiding because he doesn’t want to be the one to announce massive spending cuts and a huge rise in electricity prices. Spotter’s badge for the first person to see an article blaming the electricity hikes on the Varanus explosion and Carpenter. My money would be on Sattler, but he seems to have given up on his WAToady blog.


  20. Slanderer says:

    Yeah, and the startlingly original 3% productivity cut which those of us who were in teh Public Service in 1983 remember with (not) fondness being about the first thing introduced by the Burkenistas to show that they were more responsible with government funds than the previous mob.


  21. Mez says:

    TLA, any chance of a pic of the rest of the band names on the back of that album? I think I may know a couple


  22. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Where does Peter Harries Ph.d’s greatest hits fit into all of this ?


  23. Dr. Turner in correspondence, wishes to make it clear that he did not fashion a peace beard. He says it was a combination of thinner beard areas, and an overzealous graphics guy.


  24. Snuff says:

    I wonder if he was responsible for these ? And this is just as worst. This, however, is not.


  25. David Cohen says:

    No reasoning from the good professor on why my ning received a paltry 44 per cent on that final assessable item?


  26. my ning says:

    If I had said it as well as that Mr LA he might have given me 50% – unfortunately I had a word count to fill and, as Nuzz has shown time and time again, this can work against message…..


  27. Nigel Parke says:

    I have inherited a copy of this record. Does anyone want to but it? It could be framed and become an ironic talking point…


  28. Pingback: My 2010 Best Worst Picks | The Worst of Perth

  29. Having had cause to revisit this tonight in a post Derridarian alto Horkheimer funk. This whole post and thread is pretty fucken funny. Someone was even trying to sell the record!
    “His assertion that Aussie films of the 70′s were too shitty to be useful in a hegemomic discourse was not held to be valid.”
    Man, this is philosophy.


  30. Nigel Parke says:

    Sounds like dialectical materialism in action…
    ‘hegemonic’ ‘Derridean’ ’70s’ – did this guy teach you nothing?
    And the record’s still for sale…


  31. The Legend 101 says:

    Who the hell is this guy?


    • Nigel Parke says:

      Who Indeed?! Bird? Plane? Interloper from England? Such is the wonder of the interweb. As The Lazy Aussie pointed out, there is precious little reference to the man, the legend, and I was simply trying to flog the record. In the course of research, I discovered this amusing blog space in which you good Perthian people celebrate your erstwhile mentor/nemesis/peacenik/folk buffoon (cf. Howard Kirk in The History Man).
      PS. The puzzle ring was an iconic accessory of the 70s; it could also represent Turner’s castration anxiety in the face of vagina dentata, but, as they say in Derridean circles, the Signified is, perhaps, overdetermined within a certain economy.


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