The Strap-On that Time Forgot

First, someone apparently called me about advertising on this blog. I didn’t get your message. email me.

Now, I had a couple of other posts ready for today, but a late email from (Good Riddance) Bento, had me pushing these boozies up. Three sets of amateur norks on one  – is it a polaris? How worst is the scene daddyo? The statue, the Cocos, the tyre rim hose reels, the chain fence for christ sake! Magic. Bento I salutes ye.  It’s Midland.

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About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst art, worst sculpture and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

67 Responses to The Strap-On that Time Forgot

  1. No comments on this superb worst yet? I don’t think the chain is necessary. The sourpuss look says “grab these boozies at your own peril”. I think a velvet rope would have been nicer. It could be unclipped for VIP’s.

    Like

  2. Snuff says:

    Impressively worst, TLA. I do harbour an irrational abiding affection for tyre rim hose reels, but the chain fence really perfects this one. I can imagine a couple of Maori bouncers in penguin suits around feeding time.

    Like

  3. Bento says:

    I too am very disappointed LA. I braved the badlands of Bellevue to get a pic of boozies on a plinth, with a plastic chain to keep away the masses of gawking tourists, and still gets no love. Did I mention there was a turnstyle at the front gate?

    They’ve got nips like pygmies’ cocks, to boot.

    But noooo, you just keep bashing your heads against a brick Chong. See if I care.

    Like

    • shazza says:

      Sorry but I’m still sulking.
      I did briefly rally to vote Fuckin Worst, before slumping back into the doldrums.

      Like

    • shazza says:

      JUst wondering Bento, do you sense this is pride or good humour on display? What was the vibe of the place? Do you think they are having a laugh or feel genuine reverance for the girls.
      The Italian columns, in tandem with the Cocos and chain? It all seems too worst to be anything other than the work of larriken uni students. Except the grass wouldn’t be so well maintained. I’m confused.

      Like

      • Good humour? With that sourpuss?

        Like

      • Bento says:

        I got the distinct feeling this is a house occupied by very sincere, probably elderly, Italians. I’d put money on there being vegetables growing out the back, with probably one of the most impressive overhead reticulation systems you’ve ever seen.

        The hose reel is mounted to a flagpole, but there was no flag raised at the time. Apologies for not getting this in the shot, but I was genuinely concerned about some of the locals.

        Like

        • Snuff says:

          Very wise, Bento. That austere lawn, that tethered hose, all say, “You f*ck with us, you slumber with the non-tetrapod chordates.”

          Like

          • Bento says:

            Well, OK, this particular house doesn’t appear particularly menacing, but it is not entirely representative of the area, shall we say. More like one of those places where the house-proud long-term inhabitants refuse to acknowledge that the suburb is now almost exclusively occupied by meth labs.

            Me, in my skinny little metrosexual jeans, All-Stars, beardless face, and brandishing nothing more lethal a Canon 400D, stuck out like the veritable spare Chong at a wedding.

            Like

        • Frank Calabrese says:

          And no doubt listening to the following song on either Rete Italia, or Italian Radio on 6EBA .

          BTW, Little Tony came to Perth in the 90’s and unfortunately his concert was cancelled due to a wild storm which occoured on that night and this song was featured on the radio ads on 94.5.

          Like

  4. Cimbali says:

    Sorry not to comment earlier but it is monday morning and our suburb appeared to be on fire and it took me some time to sort out the coins that my daughter had earned busking and swapped for real money out of my purse and the cat had….. anyway
    great worst.
    I particularly like the way the nymphs have resolutely turned their backs on the lopsided nuclear warhead in a fiddling while rome burns kind of a way.
    And I also love the second pic which looks like it is on the lawn of the house of a visiting Indonesian diplomat and therefore deserving of the plastic chain.

    Like

  5. skink says:

    where are all the hands going?
    is it some sort of lesso circle jerk?

    is that what you meant by ‘licking wounds’?

    Like

  6. David Cohen says:

    I too have clicked FW.

    The post is picture perfect – what can one say?

    I’m sure they animate come sundown and turn over trolleys at the Swan View shops.

    Like

  7. birdboot says:

    This looks like someone’s highschool kid’s art project. They feel obliged to put it on the lawn – after all its the only thing the kid’s done at school all year. Seems to be something about the 3 fates. I hope it rotates on its base.

    Like

  8. Frank Calabrese says:

    I’ve just shown these pictures to my mother who has informed me that the “Statue” was built by some friends of hers and it’s called “La Tre Sorelli” (The Three Sisters).

    Yep, we wogs have a LOT to answer for.

    Like

  9. skink says:

    I like your ‘who shits me’ poll

    you should run a real poll with your button gizmo.

    I won’t nominate anyone, because, well … you know

    Like

    • B.T. says:

      It’s a slow day at work. I’ve been perusing some websites. I’m amazed by the amateurishness of your adversary – first by responding to comment makers at all and second by dragging the debate down to the level of a school yard game of “I’m smarter than you are”.

      Like

      • shazza says:

        B.T. I took it a small compliment that she had to resort to that level, as I assumed it meant my argument was too sound to combat.

        Its.
        Perth Legal Eagle aka Chong – 0
        Stay at Home mum aka shazza aka mrs stone- 1

        Like

        • Frank Calabrese says:

          Oh and the Skinkmeisteris really giving it to La Chong :-)

          Like

          • shazza says:

            I just read that. It’s gettin real ugly over there.
            At least Skinks children are beautiful.

            Like

            • Bento says:

              I love that she touted for his business. More front than Woolworth’s, that one.

              Like

            • Frank Calabrese says:

              Speaking of Children, I see Col is keen of renaming PMH when the new campus is built on the Charlies site.

              All I can say is VERY BAD IDEA, it was aking to 6IX being renamed the Eagle and 96FM being known as Triple M – you don’t feck with a recognised brandname, same as with Peters being forced to rename Drumsticks to Trumpets because of Nestle owning the name on the east coast, though that’s academic now that Nestle have bought Peters/Brownes.

              Like

        • Ljuke says:

          If you guys ever want to read a columnist that is actually good:

          http://www.guardian.co.uk/profile/charliebrooker

          Like

          • skink says:

            Charlie is my hero

            I saw that Guy Rundle name checked him last week

            check out his TV show ‘screen-wipe’ in YouTube

            it’s basically him sitting at home on his couch, in his jocks, shouting abuse at the TV

            sure to appeal to the average twopper

            ‘infuriating little piss-weasels’

            Like

          • Bento says:

            I’ve been a fan of Charlie for some time, but I’m a Guardian tragic. I particularly liked his most recent column, featuring the subtle:

            “And thoughtful, inquisitive sorts tend to think fascism is a bit shit.”

            Brilliant.

            Like

  10. B.T. says:

    On another slow day, I’d like to have a go at her. I was inspired by something she said to you and I’m itching for a chance to post “and I’m a better petroleum engineer than you are, I’ve sized the optimum diameters and wall thicknesses for more undersea pipelines than you’ve had hot breakfasts”… or some such irrelevent drivel.

    Like

  11. Nearly 90% worst or fucken worst. The people have spoken. I like it myself. I gave it delightfully not worst.

    Like

  12. Rolly says:

    Just watch Italian TV sometime to see how obsessed they are with mammaries.

    That’s why, even though I can trace no genealogical evidence for it, I find that I have an affinity for things Italianate.

    “Please knock roundly and firmly: I like firm round knockers”.

    Taut, trim and terrific every time.

    It’s all in the mind, you know!

    Like

    • Frank Calabrese says:

      Oh I do all the time on RAI Ineternational on the old Sattelite dish.

      Oh and they even make the Italian version of Deal or No Deal sound melodramatic by the inclsion of emotional music, emotional blaackmail and soppy love letters etc.

      Like

      • Frank Calabrese says:

        On the other hand the Italians can do a great Dirty Beat Poetry item heaping scorn on a Military Officer.

        Like

        • Rolly says:

          C’mon Frank, RAI Uno is tame and restrained compared with the outragious outpourings of the Berlisconi Media empire.

          They are infatuated with Rossini’s William Tell overture; you know: “Titty Bum, Titty Bum, Titty Bum Bum Bum…..”

          Like

    • Snuff says:

      Not to mention Italian radio

      Like

  13. Bento says:

    Bravo on UK Sky used to have a show called Italian Stripping Housewives, which was an overdub of an actual Italian game show of some sort. Which involved, erm, stripping housewives. From Italy.

    Like

  14. Bento says:

    LA – No-one seems to have asked who it was that contacted you to advertise on this site? Please tell me it was Merry’s.

    Like

  15. Groucho says:

    These woman are the keepers of the Dome of the Sacred Nipple.

    Like

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