Westworld

Why don’t you make arrangements to take our hovercraft to Medieval World, Roman World and Westworld. Contact us today, or see your travel agent. Boy, have we got a vacation for you. Westworld

Can I just say, wha? Young master worst watching a wild west version of Spongebob, reminded me I had snapped this astounding sight in Fremantle. Why has no-one alerted me to this …thing on the streets? And I thought the Melbourne restaurant tram was a bit embarrassing. There better be damper on the menu. And loin of witchetty grub. Actually there’s not. Menu is disconnected with the theme. Here’s the menu.

Just today I realised that so many good shots are coming in that I could actually stop using my own pics, and still be lord of original content creation. Obviously I still have to “de-wince” a lot of your text, but your eye for visual worsts is becoming sharp. Damn sharp. Saying that however, I thought I better make an effort myself occasionally.

Hang em

Hang em

western2

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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61 Responses to Westworld

  1. Grrr says:

    It is quaint, but certainly something what would be more at home in Armadale, totting past the sights, sounds and smells of Pioneer World.

    I’m not sure if I’d consider it a Worst (unless they don’t clean up after the horses) but I daresay I’m not overly interested in availing myself of its services.

    The dinner tram was enough.

    Like

  2. scaffyha says:

    Is mixing food with the aroma of horse manure a sly move by the esplanade to diguise just how bad their food is. Or is it the logical progression of the trend towards takling life back to the good old days when life was more simple, the streets were safe and you knew each of your nneeiiiggghhbours by name.

    Like

  3. I believe the food will be of excellent quality from the ‘Nard, but I would have thought a menu that fitted the theme would be more appropriate. Being pulled in an air conditioned horse drawn box, eating seared chicken Caesar salad just seems a little off to me.

    Like

  4. David Cohen says:

    Are those gondolas on the Swan still going? Now that’s classy.

    Like

  5. I did think that there was a connection somehow with the gondolas.

    Like

  6. David Cohen says:

    What we really need is a horse-drawn gondola with personalised plates going round and round the big ferris wheel while serving crab pieces with a Black Sambuca keg.

    I have the vision. Why aren’t I premier??

    Like

  7. Bill O"Slatter says:

    You truly are an ideas man DFOC. Our premier ideas man.

    Like

  8. You have the vision, but are sans the numbers. Like Alannah.

    Like

  9. Bento says:

    Brilliant in its simplicity, DFOC.

    Like

  10. David Cohen says:

    I had more numbers than skink. But not as many as Crackpots.

    Like

  11. skink says:

    you just won’t let it lie

    Like

  12. Joe says:

    I like it. Should have different routes for different themes. Romantic, sightseeing, etc.

    Joe,
    MyFlorenceItalyVacation.com

    Like

  13. David Cohen says:

    I will carry that memory to my dotage. Happy days!

    When I’m up for re-election as union prez, I will be seeking Crackpots’ number-crunching acumen.

    Not skink’s.

    Like

  14. skink says:

    do you get need to get elected?
    I thought you did it because nobody else wanted to

    Like

  15. Grrr says:

    Do we have the numbers to roll Barnett yet?

    Like

  16. Bedford Crackpot Fraternity says:

    The Clydesdale abomination requires an additional horsefloat hitched up to the rear (or perhaps embedded between horse and cart configuration)which houses a resident chef in an open air style all sing all dancing kitchen arrangement. (Pole optional). This would save the business from inevitable collapse and provide an additional target for pie throwing!

    Like

  17. He looks like he’s getting sleepier. he may roll himself.

    Like

  18. I wonder if there’s a toilet on board?

    Like

  19. Ljuke says:

    I believe that according to health regulations, they only need to have a toilet if they have over a certain number of seats. I would like to see one of those ones that drops directly onto the street.

    Like

  20. I really don’t understand why it’s not gourmet damper, roo steaks and crocodile cutlets done nice. It might almost make some kind of crazy sense.

    Like

  21. It’s $145 for 3 hours with 15 seats. If they are really drinking all that wine, and you start at the nard’s bar…
    http://www.clydesdaledining.com.au/menu.html

    Like

  22. Cookster says:

    Don’t knock the Melbourne dining tram – I was on that fucker for a good three hours drinking straight Drambuie on crushed ice like it was cordial. Damn fine value, even if the roo steaks had the texture of boiled cuntkinis.

    And the same be said for the Gondolas in Melbourne – I even proposed to the good Mrs Cookster on one while swanning past the MCG.

    The problem is, every idea bought to Perth tends to become an expensive, wannabe worst.

    Like

  23. Groucho says:

    Whiplash, The Virginian, Bonanza, The Rifleman, Rawhide, Wagon Train and Gunsmoke ….is that Peter Graves riding shotgun ?

    Rollin’ Rollin’ Rollin’
    Though the streets of Freo’
    Keep them Clydies Rollin’ Rawhide,

    If you get a group of them obese Aussies on board I am sure them wagon wheels wouldnt hold out too long.

    Like

  24. Frank Calabrese says:

    This was featured in the STM Magazine either last week or the Week before.

    At least it’s still going, unlike the Spirit Of The West Rail Dining Train.

    http://www.railpage.com.au/f-t11341266.htm

    Like

  25. Snuff says:

    It must just be me. I don’t get it. I suppose it’s a mobile billboard of sorts, but I seem to recall the Esplanade wasn’t such a bad pub. Is there some problem with restaurants that don’t move ?

    Like

  26. stu says:

    I just want to meet the bank manager who heard them out and went ..

    “Ya know, I like your vision, yes I will lend you money to build a stagecoach restaurant pulled by horses..sign here and here and here”

    Like

  27. “the texture of boiled cuntkinis.” Yeah I wish I had said that.

    Like

  28. Grrr says:

    “I seem to recall the Esplanade wasn’t such a bad pub”

    Hotel bars should never be called pubs.
    Never.

    Rattan seats, MDF tables… it looks stuck in the 1980s inside…. although it’s great to charge drinks to random rooms.

    Like

  29. Frank Calabrese says:

    Rattan seats, MDF tables… it looks stuck in the 1980s inside…. although it’s great to charge drinks to random rooms.

    Ahh, still basking in it’s America’s Cup Glory.

    Like

  30. Grr you fucken cunt! So it was you that charged all those Fluffy Ducks, Pina Coladas and Flamin’ Homosexuals to our room on our tenth anniversary stay last year? I hope you puked your fucken ring. i hope you puked your flamin’ homosexual fluffy duck ring.

    Like

  31. Crackpots! says:

    The Spirit of the West Dining Car is no more….? Outrage!!That train went to nowhere and back and you never noticed until you got off back in Perth! It was rather pleasant!Unlike the Dwellingup forest Diner which was basically 3 colour veg & Roast!

    Like

  32. You wouldn’t bite at “de-wincing submitted copy” Outrage? That really burns doesn’t it?

    Like

  33. David Cohen says:

    I let that one go through to the ‘keeper, TLA. It hurts – and I wince – when my writing is criticised by Barry Humphries and Tim Winton.

    But I don’t get upset when a semi-literate ageing brilliantined stick insect comedian who can’t spell or punctuate has a go.

    Like

  34. Cookster says:

    Calm down Cohen, they’re serving octopus on that wagon – marinated no less.

    I’ve just emailed your description of TLA to our friend Barra so he’ll know who to look out for at the Warne Musical opening extravaganza.

    I took the liberty of adding that the stick insect would be wearing a poorly fitted vintage Armani suit and City of Perth cufflinks.

    Like

  35. Just tell Barra “Not the face” and Patti “not the kahunas”

    Like

  36. David Cohen says:

    What’s left? Your piano-playing hands?

    Like

  37. Cookster says:

    What about his piano playing schlong? Wasn’t it the TLA appendage that featured in that recent ad?

    Like

  38. And tell Sattler “Not my mother.”
    Piano what?
    Just because you two are parasites on genuine celebrities like Barra and myself, no need to let your jealousy show.

    Like

  39. Rolly says:

    Back to the topic of the blog which can only be described as “naff”; failing miserably to carry even the faintest trace of authenticity in respect to the period of time in which horse drawn wagons were current.
    A bit like the Perth and Freo trams.
    What, with the ferris wheel and all, Perth is rapidly becoming a faux Disney World.
    Metrocentric twats!(©Rolly2008)

    Like

  40. Cookster says:

    You, sir, are a parasite in the pubic hair of Perth.

    Like

  41. Rolly says:

    Cookster sed:

    “You, sir, are a parasite in the pubic hair of Perth.”

    And a metrocentric one to boot.

    Like

  42. Cookster says:

    TLA, I have had correspondence with Barra this fine morning and informed him that you will be looking out for him at the SWTM gala opening.

    My last email to him:

    “Cool, the bloke who runs that popular tongue-in-cheek website The Worst of Perth is keen to say hello if you do go – I’ll let him know to introduce himself.”

    Like

  43. You’se talking about me?

    Like

  44. Cookster says:

    Shaw are talkin bout u Willis. I don’t think he’s got his invite yet – maybe you can grease the wheels for him and get on his good side?

    Like

  45. Doesn’t he have people for that? Aren’t you his people? I can’t believe he’s not going to opening night. I’d better call She Ra.

    Like

  46. I have actually met barra many, many years ago at a Yallingup Art exhibition.

    Like

  47. Cookster says:

    Yeah, he said he called you a ‘skinny, anglo cunt’ and you started bouncing up and down on one leg making ‘parp-parp’ noises like that character off Boston Legal.

    Like

  48. No, he was quite polite. Was I think some relative’s (wife’s?) artworks or something along those lines. Only very vague memories.

    Like

  49. Bento says:

    Another fat wog cunt patron of the arts. Quite the Medici, is our Barra.

    Like

  50. David Cohen says:

    Is Yallingup next to Mullingup?

    Like

  51. If I were to de-wince that for comedy timing, I’d go “Yallingup? That next to Mullingup?”

    Like

  52. The Legend 101 says:

    If your in Busselton dont go to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx it cost $300 for nothing it’s compelty useless and the food is digusting.

    Like

  53. The Legend 101 says:

    A resturant on wheels. Look at the sights why you eat a meal who ever thought of it what a awsome idea love to eat there.

    Like

  54. Al says:

    Interesting thread Lazy Aussie. Thanks Legend. C/Dining.

    Like

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