Arseless Wonder

I don’t actually know, but I put this awful statue of Paddy Hannan at the Burswood Casino down to The Smiths, a couple who have been infesting the city with well meaning but terrible bronzes for too many years. Another reason I think it might be them is because it reminds me of slightly strange proportions of the John Curtin effort in Fremantle which they made. However while JC has oddly short arms, Paddy has rather too much on the topside, so much so that he must have toppled over quite often. Despite the reduced lower half, there is the suggestion of a massive cock, which may also have affected his gait.

Feel my nuggets

Feel my nuggets

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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8 Responses to Arseless Wonder

  1. Snuff says:

    It’s actually strange for me to conceive of Paddy standing up, TLA, so ingrained is the image of him sitting outside the Town Hall in Kal with his water bag / drinking fountain. The possibly fortunate angle of this shot http://tinyurl.com/43beyg may go some way towards an explanation for your gait observation. Speaking of angle, the modern version would seem to have benefitted somewhat from engineering viagra when compared to this shot http://tinyurl.com/4bgdjz from 1948.

    As a dusty little adventurer, I would always dutifully honour the cultural imperative to pause and have a swig, as I rode my “grid” down Hannan Street to Trahair’s Bakery, to bounce on the “tramps”, or to play some “pinnies”, having invariably dallied around Hay Street.

    In those days, the very air itself sparked with eroticism on Tuesday afternoons, as every boy knew that was when the girls from Hay Street had time off to go shopping.

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  2. Anonymous Perthon says:

    He appears to be wearing something from Michael Jacksons wardrobe circa 1982.

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  3. Sabian says:

    I am firmly of the opinion that the reason the bronzed John Curtin looks so cross can be encapsulated thus: “You fuckers! My arms are so short I can’t even touch myself — I have to roll up a newspaper to literally whack myself off!”

    Hats off to the Smiths.

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  4. Not to mention his Monster Truck hand of death. He could squeeze Peter Costell’s nuts and still have room for more – and that’s saying something.
    I was in Kal last week and the original statue is now hidden in a museum behind 8 maori securtiy guards as the local council finally had enough of drunken tourists vomiting and urinating all over poor Paddy every weekend. The cheap replica remains which actually has in small print on his boot – ‘made in China.’ Only in Kal – fucking – goooooolie

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  5. He does appear to have just ripped off a bull’s scrotum.

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  6. Groucho says:

    “there is the suggestion of a massive cock”

    Hey Paddy, are they nuggets in ya pocket or ya just happy to see me ?

    Personally, I think he looks like one of those skeleton pirates off the Pirates of the Carribean…you know the living dead.

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  7. Vic Demised says:

    You’re right, Johnny @ 4, that hand is a giveaway -of course his cock is huge, given the scientifically-established correlation between the sizes of extremities. Costello’s nuts, though? C’mon! When he played for Howard’s 11, Custardello batted without a box.

    Paddy also seems to have an unsightly lump on his left cheek. Perhaps it is a chancre? And the tendons in his neck would not look out of place on an obese giraffe.

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