Tumblin’ Dice

“To this day I can’t get aroused until I see a pair of rubber dice hanging from the mirror”
Johnny Carson American TV Host, 1925-2005

I didn’t realise that there were still furry dice, particularly not loaded ones like these. Come to think of it, why were there ever furry dice? What did they do? What were they for? Why has this one got two sides of twos? The only non mystery is why someone would throw them out with the garbage in Bayswater.

Cooler than a body on ice...

Cooler than a body on ice, hotter than a rolling dice...(ACDC)

Update. So perhaps they were supposed to be stylised testicles, in which case, perhaps they have been supplanted by car nurries, as snapped by Forkboy below. I don’t want to know if worsters are photographing while driving. Though blue, they do seem a little small, however, the only time I’ve ever seen under the bonnet of one of these 60s falcons, the tiny donk was cowering in the corner like a little girl, so perhaps they are to scale. At the time I had a 1970 Valiant which had the small 5 litre V8.

Swing low

Swing low

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
This entry was posted in worst art, worst classics and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Tumblin’ Dice

  1. Snuff says:

    I was hoping this gallery might shed some light on the mystery, TLA. However …



  2. flynn says:

    It’s what happens when separated from a mate – it becomes a “die”.


  3. Groucho says:

    This is a clear display that someone’s luck has run out…diced the dice !!!!


  4. probably kept rolling twos


  5. To increase the length of your penis I’ve always found it useful to soak the furry dice in bottled french water and then tie them to a flaccid todger for at least 1 hour a day. That’s the true purpose of these delightful creations.


  6. David Cohen says:

    Fluffies are outre. Teh Ragemobile has dice lit from within: plug them into your ciggy lighter and voila! illuminated car bling.


  7. forkboy says:

    FACT – Bayswater’s “Old Cunt Road” is the cheapest piece of real easte a player can purchase in Parker Brothers new game Ghettopoly………..


  8. I think the OCR is in Bassendean but this spot is 5 minutes drive away.


  9. forkboy says:

    Lazy @ 8 – yep right next to the Community Chest and a short stop away from White Trash Chapel Road………..


  10. Snuff says:

    The creative wellspring of Bassendean, you say, TLA ? Birthplace of Dave Faulkner, Rolf Harris and Harry Butler, I think. Flick’s work with the Victims and Gurus is possibly less familiar than Alice Cooper’s version of Sun Arise,

    which Harry and Rolf co-wrote, and which the latter recorded with musicians from Arnhem Land back in 1960.


    Although this is clearly the version he recorded with George Martin, and released in 1962 to coincide with the Commonwealth Games in Perth, they just don’t make clips like this anymore.


  11. forkboy says:

    RE : Car Nurries – They are called “swingers”…………I thought this “rubber dog shit” type economy only belonged in the exotic east (and I dont mean Bankstown)….America dont become China!……..shit too late!…


    fuck me has the world gone mad??!!!


  12. forkboy says:

    Lazy – I was not driving at the time……I was taking a photo…..with my mobile phone….eating a cheese burger (2 hours old)….and drinking my third can of Carlsburg Special Brew as purchased from Barrett Street liquor East Perth some 20 meters behind me.


  13. Is there a female version?


  14. Rolly says:

    Only a metrocentric© variety.


  15. forkboy says:

    the domain name is avalible Lazy….use the might of your Chinese Industrial contacts to make superior rubber Vagina than the Americans and we can be TRILLIONAIRES!!!!!


  16. forkboy says:

    We’ll advertise them worldwide on CORFLUTE…..


  17. Vic Demised says:

    I always thought these furry cubes dangling from the rear view mirror was intended as a pun -pair o’ dice = paradise.
    They are meaningless without partners, like many of us.


  18. Bento says:

    I don’t know that the sort of person that hangs dice from their mirror is also the sort of person who appreciates puns.


  19. Snuff says:

    @ 18 Thanks for that, Vic. It’s taken a while, but I may finally understand Meatloaf’s “Paradise by the dashboard light”, which I will mercifully not link to. Alice Cooper’s “Sun Arise” was bad enough.

    Understanding the Loaf himself, may still take some time. Even more impenetrable is the mystery of “Bat out of Hell” coming in at number 9 in Aunty’s inaugural My Favourite Album. Onya Oz.


    Curiously, although Ellen Foley is recorded on “Paradise by the dashboard light”, another woman, Karla DeVito, was used for the video and for performances. This would also happen for Meatloaf’s “I’d Do Anything for Love (but I Won’t Do That)”, where Dana Patrick mimed to Lorraine Crosby’s vocals. Obviously Ellen and Dana were a tad chubby and less photogenic.


  20. The Legend 101 says:

    Everyone likes fluffy dice in the car because the think is cool and retro but infact it is gay and i prefer the air freshner on the mirror but not the dice.


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