The Worst Of Perth TV – London Court

Now don’t get me wrong, I love London Court, despite, or perhaps because of how ridiculous the premise was and how out of place it is. For overseas worsters, London Court is a shopping centre built in Olde Englande style, in 1937. From the website, London Court is, “The only walk in the world outside Britain that has captured a setting and atmosphere so similar to that of Tudor England…”

That the chiming of the clock is one of the city’s most popular tourist attractions perhaps says more about Perth than London Court. Small crowds would gather when I was a kid to watch St George sluggishly poke a dragon, on one side, and knights joust on the hay Street side. And they still gather to watch it even today!

Brett at Freebeer reported an idiotic statement from ABC Chief Kim Dalton, calling for enforced Australian quotas on Australian broadband content! Has the man never used the internet? Just to keep Kim a little bit happier and increase Australian online content a little more, here is a video I made for TWOP television showing the frenzy that surrounds the chiming of the clock at London Court in Hay street. You won’t want to miss it.

The St George side on St George’s Terrace.

About AHC McDonald

Comedian, artist, photographer and critic. From 2007 to 2017 ran the culture and satire site The Worst of Perth
This entry was posted in The worst of Perth TV, worst architecture, worst public art, worst shop design and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to The Worst Of Perth TV – London Court

  1. Bento says:

    I’ve been told the ‘enclosed’ nature of London Court is the result of a Spinal Tap-esque error in notation – some imperial measure other than feet (or gallons, or whatever crazy measure they used then) was shown on the plans, and the building was truthful to the notations. Sounds like a steaming pile of bollocks, but it’s what I’ve been told…

    That said, I say anything mock-Tudor is an automatic worst. Come the revolution, they will be first to feel the cleansing fire.


  2. Bento are you still in The US? Why haven’t I see any worst of Savannah pictures coming in?


  3. Part of the theme park that IS the Hay Street Mall…


  4. B.T. says:

    Did they build London Court that way on purpose? From the ground up? It’s not just renovated to look that way?


  5. squib says:

    lol! I do that when I’m in Perth. I’m so relieved I didn’t appear in the film. pheeew

    Does anyone remember what it says above the entrance? I’ve forgotten, something about using your time wisely?


  6. Yeah, you don’t ever get a minute back, so ye should do something something.
    I think it was supposed to look like that Bento.


  7. MrDave says:

    When are they going to fix the freaking chimes?


  8. Mark says:

    Has anyone else noticed that one of the bells appears to be non-functional? One of the notes is missing from its chimes. I wonder if they’ve fixed that by now.


  9. Bento says:

    LA – in Moscow now. A whole city of worsts, as far as I can tell…


  10. Well send me some flamin pics for weekend worstoff.
    Savannah to Moscow. How interesting.


  11. Cookster says:

    There’s a similar thing in Melbourne, bit it features an oversize timepiece and golden cherubs serenading mechanical parrots with a Singapore-remix of Waltzing Matilda… class, all class.


  12. Cookster says:

    Not to be outdone by Crown Casino’s bizaro ‘four seasons’ light show in the lobby, complete with water features and a smoke machine.


  13. Paracleet says:

    The worst thing about the gawping masses at the shoddy jousting is when the city of perth ‘tour guides’ (whats with the zoo-like docent uniform?) drag people to watch it. Many of them being presumably the sort of people who wouldn’t normally stop to watch such an attraction.


  14. Russell says:

    Philistines!. I can remember jumping off the trolley bus, running up William Street, past The Metro, round the Cox Brothers corner into Hay Street, dreading I’d hear the chimes before I got there, to then stand with concentrated expectation of the romance of the jousting knights. A little bit of England (‘Home’) in this wide brown, boring land. After the chimes died away we would buy our tickets and box of jubes for the latest Hayley Mills film, at The Mayfair, (before it became The Capri and aimed at a different clientele!).

    Obviously none of you possessed an Arthur Mee’s Children’s Encyclopaedia, or subscribed to Look and Learn magazine, or couldn’t wait for the next episode on TV of The Adventures of Sir Francis Drake …..

    I could go on channeling Pam Casellas, but seriously, Perth’s arcades were the most interesting part of the city – compared to the vast department stores they had lots of little interesting shops – some (relatively) sophisticated, others unchanged for 30 years. Before Perth became a tourist destination, London Court was a more interesting place – I haven’t been there for a while, but last time it was all souvenir and opal shops.


  15. Apparently originally there were apartments upstairs for actual living in.
    We would be worse off without it.


  16. skink says:

    I had the misfortune to visit a podiatrist in one of the pokey little rooms above London court, behind a solid wooden door with wrought iron fixtures and leadlight windows

    sitting back with my feet in the air whilst this bloke took a scalpel to my verruca.

    It was like some medieval torture scene from Blackadder

    “you can call me Ploppy.”


  17. Ljuke says:

    That video should end with: “This message was brought to you by The Worst Of Perth Television Association”.


  18. David Cohen says:

    Yes. And where’s your logo and station ID??

    At least LA doesn’t need $5 million so he can be digital…


  19. Has 31 died in the arse yet?


  20. CK says:

    ‘London Court is, “The only walk in the world outside Britain that has captured a setting and atmosphere so similar to that of Tudor England…” ‘

    Bugger the clock, when are the regularly scheduled beheadings?

    Do they allow Catholics into London Court?


  21. Well they do empty their toilet buckets straight out of the window. How much more authentic do you want CK?


  22. CK says:

    Well the occasional witch-burning would be a bit of an attraction.


  23. skink says:

    the gates could could be brightened up with a few severed heads on pikes

    Basil Zemplas perhaps


  24. CK says:

    Exactly. At the very least some workhouses and sudden outbreaks of the Black Death.


  25. Rolly says:

    Burn it down! Burn it down!


  26. Frank Calabrese says:

    [Has 31 died in the arse yet?]

    Not yet, they’ve deferred the desicion for another week.,21598,23925191-5005382,00.html


  27. SkyLantern says:

    LA, you have a mock tudor rival! I can see a jousting match coming on.


  28. CK says:

    Fantastic SL. My eyes are bleeding.


  29. CK says:

    Aaaarrgggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!! London Court has mock Tudor garbage bins:


  30. #18 Teh ‘rage. I’m still getting to grips with Adobe Premiere’s titling. Embedding and stacking objects in the titles playing up a bit. i’ll be forced to read the instructions next. By the way, did you see that that FOI costs were described as an outrage in ThE West? i thought of your Rottobloggo struggles.


  31. David Cohen says:

    Yuh. They call it Freedom of Information, but it’s not free and it can take a long time to get the information. In the interests of accuracy, it could often be called Costly and Blocked Information.


  32. #26 Frank, I did stand-up and prerecorded video comedy for the 31 pilot launch. I will have to see if any of that video is still extant for the death.


  33. Frank Calabrese says:

    [#26 Frank, I did stand-up and prerecorded video comedy for the 31 pilot launch. I will have to see if any of that video is still extant for the death.]

    Goodluck finding stuff, if it was for CTV Perth (which I’m a member), it “might” be in the cupboards aka the “Tape Library” at their Wellington St offices (the old GAsworks), if it’s Access 31 proper you’re on your own, they might’ve erased it to recycle the tapes.


  34. CK says:

    Geez LA, mockmytudor has to be worth a link. This person is doing sterling work, especially down Freo way.

    Oh, did I mention s/he’s bang on?


  35. mock tudor is great


  36. Pingback: Aussie Calling » The Worst Of Perth TV - London Court

  37. Frank Calabrese says:

    Best place to put this. Andrew Brine crying poor BEFORE the white knight arrived.


  38. forkboy1971 says:

    I had no idea this was “mock Tudor”……………Im speechless.


  39. charlie says:

    London Court is the single bit of Perth I really, really dislike.
    It is unbelievably tacky


  40. The Legend 101 says:

    The tv theese days is just all sport and drama theres never anything good on.


  41. The Legend 101 says:

    Thanks, for that link Snuff i didnt really get that website but hey thanks i really like links.


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