MH370

As parts from MH370 begin to wash up on Port Beach (fuck off Augusta – as if!) the secret cargo was revealed as…live sharks. By Pete F. Fremantle. I like how local stilt walkers have already looted the sharks.

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About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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19 Responses to MH370

  1. Rong1 says:

    Damn! I was wondering where my import of heroin and guns went to.

    Like

  2. GivDBird says:

    Shits all over Cott’s goon bag.

    Like

  3. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Could this be the late Uncle Len Buckeridge’s attempt to get around Emperor Barnsey’s stalling on his new container port? Just dump ’em out in Gage Roads and wait for them to float to shore to be unloaded by non-MUA teams of fixie riding, barefoot Fremantle hipsters.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Snuff says:

    Pete seems very impressed; going by the shadow.

    Like

  5. juantrak says:

    You know MAS have never released MH370’s cargo manifest, don’t you? This explains it all.
    MH370 was diverted to the mid-Indian Ocean by a crack team of Romanian ATM thieves who were waiting in rubber ducks with RPG’s.
    They used an on-board agent posing as a pissed Aussie bogan who’d left his ecstasy pills in his checked luggage. He got the pilots to open the cockpit door by banging on it, claiming he just wanted access to his suitcase for his medication.
    After the bogan knocked out the pilots, he turned the 777 around and sent it out off Exmouth. The Romanians then shot down MH370 with the RPG’s because the bogan was surplus to their needs, by then.
    After the 777 crashed into the ocean and blew up, just like in the movies, killing everyone on board – the Romanians then moved in to rifle through the floating seatainers that were on board, getting the $4.9B worth of gold that was carried on board for supplying regular bribes to Chinese politicians to enable MAS landing rights in China.
    The Romanians then rendezvoused with their mother ship and transferred all the gold to it and fucked off home. They know the law, these Romanians – no-one can lay a finger on them, because the mid-Indian Ocean is outside any Federal or State Police jurisdiction.
    That’s the true story, so help me God. I’ve told dozens of people in authority, but they refuse to listen, because it’s all a Govt cover-up to hide their incompetence. You heard it here first.

    Like

  6. PeteF says:

    heh, can’t wait for this post to climb up google rankings. Cue chemtrails and other nutters.

    Like

  7. skink says:

    that’s twice today I’ve had to listen to Augusta being dissed.
    Teh West today described it as ‘the small South West town which has long been in the shadow of Margaret River.’
    well, fuck you Margaret River. Never forget that it is the Shire of Augusta and Margaret River, and Augusta will always be first. Take your balsamic venegar and irregate your colons with it, you cashed-up hippies.

    Like

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