Floor it

It’s a fucking outrage. I just needed to use the gents. My prostate problems mean that it can take me more than 24 hours to empty my bladder. Hands off my sweet ride council cunts. I’m still shaking off! By James n.



About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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24 Responses to Floor it

  1. Les Girls Murray says:

    The Inspector

    “A loafer on a gopher is a loafer all the same:
    “Deny my quota? Not one iota, nor play his senile game!
    “Nedlands is mere bedlam if we let his kind triumph,
    “So here’s a sticker for his ticker; that’ll teach the daft old cunt!”

    Thus our inspector claims his Hector
    Or Hector’s chariot no less,
    And proves at last the law’s an ass 
    Though not for reasons that you’d guess:

    For he naught suspects that chariot
    Now forever gathers dust,
    As yesterday its Hector fell 
    Beneath a Transperth bus.


  2. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    As my own humble piece of the Australian dream evidences, Perth is home to some of the worst designed and installed roof guttering. Surely it is taking the piss to have a downpipe feed straight into a registered window box?

    Could it be one of those Whitfords Poms longing for some rising damp to remind them of home?


  3. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    Off topic – but let’s hope The Buzz rolled in some liquidambar seed pods before collapsing into bed after his Subiaco demolition derby to help his legal defence.


  4. GivDBird says:

    Off my lawn you young whipper snappers


  5. RubyRuby says:

    In important follow-ups – does anyone know whether I can expect sausage sizzles and cake stalls at the voting booths on Saturday?


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