Vegan calls your attention to this. I’m sure Jaidyn-Jaxxon and Justin Langer will be there. Is it just me, or does the blurb go out of its way to make sure you understand, that you totally understand that the play is the biggest piece of crap ever to be staged? When Kate Cherry says that she laughed one moment and cried the next, does she really mean, “Fuuuuuck, this is shite. You have totally been warned.” If not, what does it mean to print what every person reading will assume is a sodden tissue of lies? Kate you are really saying with a straight face that you oscillated between laughing and weeping, only pausing to count the minutes before the clichéd textures of Fremantle’s fishing boat harbour could be brought to life? Kate, every single reader will know that your real thoughts would have been “How do we cast this turkey without letting Geoff fucking Kelso… – Oh, err, Hi Geoff, how did you get past security?”On the other hand, no one could play a piece of “jetsam dragged up by the sea” like Geoff, (apart from Don Smith obviously). I’m assuming Geoff plays Col, the sexually promiscuous old dugong, caught suddenly in the mill-race of the Leeuwin Current, swept out of the blood warm waters of Shark Bay, and tossed up barely half alive in the oily waters of a Fremantle Marina, brought back to life by a mouth to mouth session administered by the local priest half maggoted on altar wine, who afterwards vomits one of those overcheesed Little Creatures pizzas through his nose, while boatloads of tight crotched Italians shake their fists – their fleet sadly and forever unblessed?
Oh my god there’s larrikin humour as well. And it’s Australia Day too. And it’s $64. Well at least there’s coarse language, as Dee, the slutty but drunk English backpacker reels off a string of obscenities, as her attempts at larrikin humour and cracks about convict heritage fall flat and the motley collection of larrikins, fringe dwellers, larrikins and expensive boat owners are forced by the staccato bark of her relentless “Wake up Aussie cunts! You want to hole up? Hole THIS up!”to reconsider what brought them to this terrible and tragic existence of living on boats in a marina, jerking like marionettes -like Aussie cunt larrikin marionettes to the tune of some aquatic Don’s Party. Or should that be Don’s Party 2?