Bogan Burger

A worst by K, Joondalup. Had a bit of discussion with Outrage and Krazy Kim over the treatment of Tasmania in a minced meat pattie. Do you separate it and risk it falling into the hot rocks, or attach it and risk offending residents of Inceston and Hobart? Attach it obviously. And Groote Island can fuck off too. Canarvon is reared a little low though as I look more closely. K is holding out for the Fuck off we’re full lamingtons. Happy Australia Day.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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42 Responses to Bogan Burger

  1. Bag O'Turnips says:


    Needs that embossed into the (possibly mutton, um, I mean lamb mince) patties…

    Or…”FUCK OFF WE’RE FULL…OF LAMB!”: should please the latter-day Slammin’ Sam Kekovich fan. (His monotone rants were funny on The Fat a decade ago on Aunty, but now he’s just another cheap sellout that he promised tongue-in-cheek that he’d be back then, with a national lamb roadshow and all).


    • Lucky Star says:

      I’m surprised they don’t come with a branding iron that a bogan can customise with his/her choice of bogan-pride chant (eg, “F#ck off, we’re full!”, etc). To be served in a damper roll with beeroot (’cause that’s what makes it more Aussie apparently) and with Aussie flag napkins with mop up the grease and tomato sauce.


  2. Pete says:

    Available @ no doubt. Any Christmas Is (pie) floaters? No? Too soon?


  3. Natalia Fan #1 says:

    Excellent Oz day worst. As though the whole thing needs further worsting, eh? FOWF, etc etc.


  4. The Legend 101 says:

    I saw theese at Woolworths yesterday and it’s Austrailia Day so how is that Bogen.


  5. Bento says:

    I note Christmas Island has been excised from the Burger Inclusion Zone, also.

    Those things better be infused with beetroot. FIFO.


  6. RubyRuby says:

    They *MUST* be roo-burgers, no?


  7. Rolly says:

    Went to Freo last evening and was suitably impressed by the sparsity of flags on vehicles.
    Only saw half a dozen or so real Aussies.


    • Rolly says:

      P.S. They were the dark skinned ones eating fish and chips at Kailis’.


      • Natalia Fan #1 says:

        Funny you say that Rolly – the most heavilly festooned ve-hi-cle I saw in Freo yesterday belonged to a young Indian couple.


        • Lucky Star says:

          If you want to observe bogans in the their natural habitat today, head up to Sorrento. Had to go up there for a family breakfast this morning, and the whole beachfront along West Coast Hwy was rife with them, both on foot and in bogan-mobiles, showing their bogan-pride with flags in various shapes and forms. The Aussie flag dress with the Union Jack across the arse was a good laugh.


          • E.V. says:

            The Aussie flags on cars are irritating enough, but now we have a new generation of bogans tattooing southern crosses and Australian flags on the backs of their necks. The same people the media whips into a xenophobic frenzy over a small number of desperate refugees arriving by boat.


  8. BrownBook says:

    Lovely hint of Burger Ring


    • hovean says:

      The standard plumbing specifications for the toilets in a typical large burger chain store require considerably more wc units per customer than other food outlets. The unmentioned reason being the incidence of burger ring.


  9. Bill O'Slatter says:

    Four Lean Aussie Meat Burgers . Warning may contain meat. No soy bean. Ingredients: All artificial ingredients.polychromatic hydro carbons , sawdust, unidentifiable bits. Made in China. Not to be used as a map. Use by date : 25/1/11. Oi ! Oi! Oi!


  10. GerryW says:

    Were is Canarvon? And I hope the ommision of “shaped” between Aussie and Burgers is just that, and not the movie Soylent Green becoming reality


  11. Hugh Jass says:

    Straya Day. Admit it, you’re all like the guy in this video!


  12. Al says:

    That’s just so Mint. Maan.. wish we had class like this here in NSW .. makes me miss WA a bit more.


  13. Russell Woolf's Lovechild says:

    I think the map of Tassie is usually available separately at these kind of functions. That just looks like Victoria has cracked a fat.


  14. Vburger says:

    Interesting!!!..that’s the only thing I’d say!!


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