Pie Wall

Watching was surprised that this superb bad wall in Bentley East Victoria Park hasn’t been featured before. I can’t find it if it has. In any case its magnificence should be honoured forever. Could be a scene from Dune or Star Wars if not for the weatherboard.

Now a vanished worst apparently as of 7th June 2010. Vale pie wall.

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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89 Responses to Pie Wall

  1. Snuff says:

    Marvellous. I can’t remember the last time I thought of a Bovell’s pie, or even one from Trahair’s in Hannan St, but I’m fangin’ for one now.

    Like

  2. Bento says:

    Superb. It appears to have saved the house from an exciting ‘car in living room’ moment on at least one occasion too. Lucky they didn’t put too much butter in the mixer.

    Like

  3. skink says:

    Adele has quit the Greens and wants to marry Troy and live in a house made of pie

    Like

  4. munkipants says:

    I immediately thought cornish pasty – perhaps the Cornish version of the wine cask house?

    Like

  5. rolly says:

    Hell no!
    Not worst at all.
    Rather evocative, even if only of so many of my Mother’s delicious pastries.
    Quite an appropriate post with Mothers’ Day this weekend.
    Do I detect a modicum of Gaudian influence in the design?
    It beats anything out of the furnaces of Midland Brick et al.
    Definitely to be encouraged in the face of Perth’s eternal architectural aesthetic drought.
    No. Decidedly not worst.

    Like

    • WAtching says:

      Why don’t you marry it then?

      If anyone built on of these in my neighbourhood they would get an exciting ‘car in living room’ moment.

      Like

    • WAtching says:

      Rolly. Buddy. Please.
      “Gaudian?”

      Perhaps the utter crappiness of this wall is not obvious in the photo and can only be appreciated up close. I crave variety in the built envronment as much as anyone else, but not if it is as poorly executed as this.

      Yes. Mind numbingly, spine shudderingly, Worst.

      Like

  6. skink says:

    more Wintoning:

    http://www.watoday.com.au/entertainment/tv-and-radio/tim-winton-the-fridge-fixer-20100506-ueoo.html

    I want a two hundred word essay from each of you in the Winton style, incorpoarting a fridge, a house that looks like a pie, a beanie, and the phrase ‘surfy stoner dude’

    Like

    • skink says:

      bonus points will be awarded for including a clumsy double entendre of Kerry Fox

      Like

    • shazza says:

      Mr Shazza was almost an extra on the Cloudstreet set last week.

      Like

      • And still no one has sent me a picture of the proceedings.

        Like

      • Wouldn’t his teeth be too even for Wintoning?

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        • shazza says:

          Apparently they were seeking clean cut, thinnish types. No smiling necessary I assume. Just hanging in the background. My friend if one of the casting agents, they were down an extra and she said Mr shazza sprang to mind as a fill in. I doubt he would have agreed to participate being shy and all. But I was secretly hoping he would so i would have an excuse to get on set and take some shots.
          Oh well.

          Like

    • Natalia Fan #1 says:

      Scratching a sandy scalp under his beanie, Clem reflected that he never did figure out why Becky had called him a ‘surfy stoner dude’. Sure, he surfed, like they all did back then. And he sure was a dude. He smiled at that as he walked, taking a bite from the steaming Mrs Macs he had bought from the corner store just minutes earlier. He’d was wary of the word ‘dude’; means a camel’s dick, someone told him. It probably came about back when there were camel drivers here, just as his grandad told him – swarthy Afghans who broke from their usual inscrutability into open annoyance whenever one of the larrikins called out ‘Ooshta’. ‘Stoner’? He smiled even harder at that one. Nick and him had each done two buckets that morning; the bud made him feel languorous, and yet alive: the magpies’ songs were symphonies, and could feel the ambrosial pie dissolving into its billion component atoms in his gullet. Hang ten, what’s this? He had turned his bloodshot eyes from the council footpath, with the words ‘Shire of Belmont’ or the occasional child’s handprint stamped into the grey slabs, to the pie-crust coloured house that now stood before him. But it wasn’t only pie coloured: the house actually looked like a pie. Dim childhood images of shortbread cottages swam through his mind. Somehow he just had to go and knock on the door. It was promptly answered by a foxy red-head who smiled lasciviously at his crotch. ‘Sheesh, he thought, ‘my lucky day’. ‘There’s plenty more pies inside’, she mouthed breathily, before taking his hand and leading him in. ‘It’s like a fridge in here’, he thought, before she closed the door….

      Like

  7. Jaidyn-Jaxxon Taylor-Shanesmith says:

    Uncle Owen? Aunt Beru?

    Like

  8. David Cohen says:

    Chrust on a bike!

    Like

  9. Shreiking Wombat says:

    Beats me, NF.

    Like

  10. skink says:

    I heard that Adele Carles has been closely watching the British General Election and is excited by the prospect of a well hung Parliament

    Thank-you, I’m here all week. Try the pie.

    Like

  11. eastvicpark feral says:

    So glad to see EVP featured here, so many worsts. The fence is a landmark or crapdom. Originally it was shaped as ‘waves’ but the council didn’t like it and made them fill in the gaps. Perhaps the waves were dangerous to potential feral intruders. As someone already mentioned, the ocean of concrete (I saw them build it over moulded chook wire so probably not that sturdy) had a nice little gap to accommodate a tree which has since been removed. I actually looked at the house when it was on the market in 1999 for $135,000 (pre crap wall which is a feature in itself). It was too shitty even for me – I ended up buying one a few streets down next to a servo and near the two storey brothel – oh sorry, thai restaurant.

    Like

    • eastvicpark feral says:

      I meant landmark of crapdom. Typo in my excitement if finally having something to say….

      Like

    • eastvicpark feral says:

      I meant landmark OF crapdom. Typo in my excitement of having something to say.

      Like

    • So it is actually a brothel? EVP also has the amazing blue house/desert garden featured here some years ago.

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      • eastvicpark feral says:

        it certainly is. Upstairs only. The carpark was full the other day. One could say the place was pumping.

        Like

        • shazza says:

          Hi EVP feral. I remember the previous wave like formation. I used to knock around that neck of the woods myself. Having lived on Balmoral, Berwick, Ashburton, amongst others.
          There is an ocean fence just a short walk from me on a main road in Freo, possibly inspired the above one??
          Anyway good to have you on board.

          Like

  12. eastvicpark feral says:

    Many thanks. And yes, perhaps the wave family moved to where their installations would be more acceptable. I cannot understand why the wave wall is so offensive to the council yet they allow people to build bland, tasteless, cream brick pieces of shit all over the place. I have to put an application in just to replace my broken asbestos fence, just because it faces the street. Perhaps my asbestos fibres filling the air add to the amenity of evp

    Like

  13. eastvicpark feral says:

    The wall was pulled down this weekend. Why was it not heritage listed? So many questions.

    Like

  14. Artheretic says:

    All alone, or in two’s,
    The ones who really love you
    Walk up and down outside the wall.
    Some hand in hand
    And some gathered together in bands.
    The bleeding hearts and artists
    Make their stand.

    And when they’ve given you their all
    Some stagger and fall, after all it’s not easy
    Banging your heart against some mad bugger’s wall.

    Like

  15. The Legend 101 says:

    LOL yhay looks just like a pie to and i dont like Bentley i dont know why i just dont.

    Like

  16. The Legend 101 says:

    i ment yay.

    Like

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