The Straight Mike Walsh

A TWOP fan the other day boasted on Twitter how they had seen Perth C Lister Basil I don’t do Greek and I don’t know how my people got that reputation, probably was a dark night and there may have been Spartans involved, you know how they were separated from their womenfolk and were brought up in that all male militaristic life, but anyway somewhere along the line a Greek Donger – not mine, was introduced to a Greek ringhole – not mine either and a reputation was started…Who knew?Zempilas sitting alone, forlornly not signing cookbooks, but didn’t get a fucking photo! Outrage Cohen, shows how he is the real newspaperman by not missing RayThe straight Mike Walsh, The poor man’s George Negus, The thinking man’s Ian Leslie & the blind man’s Jana WendtMartin. Not focussing on him mind you, but not missing him. It must have taken real skill to get two retard elbows and a leather sandal in focus, but allow Ray’s hairpiece to remain soft. Aren’t journos supposed to be multiskilled these days? I’m not made of fucking unsharp masks people! Outrage sent some text, and normally I’d be flipping through Fowler, invoking the Strunkmeister for a complete dewinceing, before ditching his copy altogether, but it’s so hot that I’m just going to paste the whole thing in. Deal with it.

This morning at Borders Ray was signing copies of his book Ray: Stories of My Life. The spruiker was inviting people to sign copies of his “biography”. The crowds weren’t ten deep, but I did see the event in its last few minutes. The spruiker reduced Ray to a tick: he said if people bought Ray’s book they’d be able to tick someone off on their Xmas gift list. I advised him SoML was an autobiography – he said he sometimes got carried away “in the moment”. To his credit in the book Ray takes some stuff on the chin, like the Paxtons episode: ‘A Current Affair’s treatment of them was over-the-top, and bad editorial judgements were made. I was in the middle of those decisions.’ But then he can’t resist this: ‘The Paxton story also brings me to my sordid little encounter with a serial pest named John Safran, which became – at least to Media Watch – a celebrated confrontation. Again, its effects would
hang around like a rancid smell for years.’ $49.95 from all good bookstores everywhere!

And also see the strangest kangaroo I’ve ever seen on an Xmas card. DFOC

About The Lazy Aussie

Commended Haiku writer. A lover of The West's Worst. Perth stand-up comedian, photographer and writer.
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91 Responses to The Straight Mike Walsh

  1. gobeirne says:

    Looks like the offspring of a kangaroo that mated with a husky, while taking thalidomide.


  2. Word Salad says:

    My god, is that a hair out of place on Ray’s forehead?


  3. Golden1 says:

    That kangaroo looks like Steve Bisley.


  4. flynn says:

    it’s on steroids.


  5. WAtching says:

    Dear TLA.
    I would like to know what search brought wayne to our shores?


  6. Bento says:

    I feel like that kangaroo is looking straight into my soul.


  7. skink says:

    will TWOP be submitting the new foreshore redevelopment plan to its usual close scrutiny and criticism?

    I noted that Swan Island has been deleted and replaced by a bridge with two halves that don’t appear to join up.

    to my eye the plan seemed to consist of digging a square hole in the Esplanade where that square bit of grass currently exists, letting it fill up with water, and then selling the land around the perimeter to property developers to build whatever the fuck they like, most likely faceless glass boxes.

    as an afterthought there would be some vague aboriginal arts venue (wagyl permitting), and a special conference facility where people can gather to work out what to hell to do with all the traffic.

    I particularly enjoyed Colon on the news. When asked whether this scheme would be built when all others had failed, Colon proudly said that this was a Liberal-National Government, who delivered projects not proposals, with all the conviction of a man who had forgotten he cancelled the Ellenbrook Railway and the Footy Stadium.

    may I propose that the new development be called ‘Colin’s Creek’ in the same manner as ‘Colin’s Canal’, offering all sorts of puntastic opportunities to use the phrase ‘without a paddle’ ?


  8. orbea says:

    <a href=" Kangaroos are ingenious examples of God’s craftsmanship, designed by a Creator who knew perfectly what He was doing. To Him all praise, glory, and honour is forever due.
    ” rel=”nofollow”> I love leather. The resemblance is uncanny


  9. shazza says:

    Hatred of Ray Martin. Rational or irrational?


  10. orbea says:

    Is Ray’s hair a fire threat?


  11. cookster says:

    Ray looks a hell of a lot like one of the blokes on chanting duty at the Greek Orthodox Church in Northbridge yesterday morning… man those Greeks know how to party!


  12. David Cohen says:

    The foreshore talk is disturbing: please concentrate on my photogerbalism.

    TLA, my image is a masterpiece. Slightly tilted and extraneous objects in the frame are all the rage these days with the young pappers. I had to wait for hours until I could get the Fire Indicator Panel placed just so.


  13. David says:

    This is one Skippy that never skipped a meal.


  14. Gilbo says:

    The only good thing Ray Martin has ever done


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