Another in the essence of Perth summed up by worstness. Orbea sends in two “lawn shots”. I always want to do burnouts on the patches of land that have registered lawn written on them. Also conduct wet Tshirt competitions on them. Even evoke metaphors. The only other way to improve a lawn like this is a plastic drink container full of water to attract dogs to piss on it.
Worst Talk
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The Worst of Perth 
and what variety of lawn is that exactly? interesting texture.
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That is the ultimate in low-maintenance, waterwise verge treatment, mp. By the looks of that sand, any water pointed in its direction goes straight to the aquifer without the hindrance of any root system whatsoever.
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Oh thank God, I thought I was up for some registration fees!
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Where is that last one, it looks vaugley familiar.
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Ah Paracleet – nice to hear from you. My memory of the latter stages of last Saturday is a little, how you say, blank. I hope I didn’t skip out on a round or anything.
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I vaguely remember the last hour. Paracleet was shouting something.
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I believe Mr P was shouting snigger.
As for the lawn…
Am i to assume a lawn expert has inspected both these lawns, nodded knowingly, then registered them.
If so, what are the criteria?
I’m guessing gnarled tree… tick.
Crackpot sign… tick.
Lawn… oh fuck it… tick.
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Never – I have an savant like ability to remember whose round it is. Most particually in carryover situtations. And that is irrespective of how drunk I was in the first instance.
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both lawns are from the meat packing district of north perth, between the barrio and the tenderloin
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where is the lawn registry office?
What an aspiring career: “hey mum, I’ve just got a job as a Lawn Officer, Second Examiner Registrar”
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makes me want to register the meadow of weeds on my front verge as ‘registered fire hazard”
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Registered lawn? WTF? And you wonder why this town has no vibrancy.
In Texas, all it takes is a shotgun to keep people off your lawn.
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As a former resident of this street in North Perth (Claverton St, though I could be wrong) I can guarantee there is a better worst directly across the street.
A bogan’s crackden with a whole wall collapsing, I’ll dig the photos I took of the hellhole out of my archive and send them through post haste.
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Actually, Pravda, the lawn looked better when it was googlemapped, and the place across the road doesn’t look too bad. Perhaps you meant this one, which seems to have some worst potential.
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Whoa there a second. That bogan crackpit is my former home! Lived there a number of years. The wall wasn’t falling down then though. A later tenant said the landlord was hassling her about what happened to his antique doors. I still remember the last piece of them (with a doorknob still attached) burning merrily on the fire. I once found a small packet of white powder hidden inside a door. After much nervous tasting, turned out to be salt. Very funny cunts. Was many excellent imes had at that house. So sad I only have one photo of the interior. http://www.flickr.com/photos/lazyaussie/1227886011/in/set-72157600048547662/
Had a number of pinballs, a pool table. Good times. good times.
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Looks like one of Cookster, or DFOC’s, photos.
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How dare you.
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Surely more should be being made of the fact that the bogan crack house was my previous home?
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i’m imagining LA that fellow worsters like myself live comfortably with the thought that you have obviously moved onwards and upwards from those bogan crackhouse days and now wait in anticipation until LA junior commences his right of passage bogan crackhouse journey in years to come.
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how very perth to have your former crackden appear on your website. it really is that small.
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It’s current crack den. Previously it was house of ill repute.
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i do unreservedly apologise for any inference that tla may have formerly lived in a crack den and not a house of ill repute.
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Seems like a perfectly good name for a house of ill repute to me.
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p>Claverton St Spot On. I was following a particular peeve of registered lawns.
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