The Lazy Aussie was at the massive opening for The Shane Warne musical Saturday night, scanning the red (green) carpet for Perth celebrities. (Is Rick Hart really a celebrity?). Unless I missed them, there were two noteable Absentees. Barra and She-Ra. Shame.
Of course Patti Chong was there. No surprise. She would turn up to the opening of a sock drawer, but fashion wise, her outfit was fine. Really. A quite passable floral dress. I was a little disappointed she didn’t have one of the Merry’s costumes on. She did stare at me a lot as if she was sizing me up as a possible Merry’s leather lover. Hard, hard looks. Since I had already been hitting the free piss table, the stares kinda bounced off. Patti, why didn’t you say hello? Why so shy?
I don’t know why I took a shot of Dixie Marshall, as I quite like her, and she’s not a worst in my book, but that bag? With that dress? If Patti is getting the fashion points over you Dixie, then rethink. On the other hand, keep up all the not worst work.
Dixie Marshall
Here I am with an unknown hipster. He’s connected with the pharmaceutical industry. Apparently. In some way.
I am wearing a Ted Baker suit with an ultra fat Canton silk tie, presented to me by the grateful citizens of Guangzhou Prefecture. Really, it was. The knot you ask? A half Schminsor.
The Lazy Aussie with Unknown Hipster
I have often wanted to include The Dockers in The Worst of Perth, as you don’t get much worse than those boys stinking up the town for the last decade or so. I haven’t so far because I prefer original photos. Now I’ve got one of Mark Harvey. He was either mumbling “It’s our year man.” or “Get that fucking camera out of my face arsehole!” Possibly the latter.
This will be our year
Unidentified theatre groupies.
Unidentified groupies
And one last shot of Shane Warne Musical star Jolyon James who was superb as John the Indian bookie. This also gives you another view of Patti’s dress. And a spring roll.
What a night!
The Worst of Perth 
did Eddie Perfect have to fight Patti to get to the hair gel?
with those two in the room it would have been slicker than a Queensland beach.
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He’s connected with the pharmaceutical industry.
Say no more.
Good man to know if I ever fall in with the Perthonalities.
I have often wanted to include The Dockers in The Worst of Perth, as you don’t get much worse than those boys stinking up the town for the last decade or so.
As Z-grade celebs in a G-grade town (they may have been in The West this weekend) or as football players?
Of course, considering I only recognise Dixie, Patti and yourself in those shots, I may not be the right fellow to talk.
Unidentified theatre groupies.
Much more of that and you’ll be competing with Perth Street Chic.
I’ll wait for Carey: The Musical.
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I see myself as the Bennet’s Beat of the new millenium. (Who would remember Bennet’s Beat I wonder).
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I remember Bennet’s Beat :-) Was Holly Wood there, or has he retired ?
And whatever happened to Juanita Walsh, who was linked romantically to both Gary Carvolth AND Howard Sattler, and maybe Yorkie after he got divorced.
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I spent many a night at the Walsh family home back in the 1980s…
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Yorkie? That would take groupie-ism too far.
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“As Z-grade celebs in a G-grade town (they may have been in The West this weekend) or as football players?”
As footballers. They’re not going to move off Z grade until they win something.
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You mean other than eight of the last ten derbies, LA?
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That’s touching Vic. Weren’t they crowing about some derby win as those other plonkers went on to win a flag? I’m not an Eagles fan, but the Dockers seem to revel in incompetence, losing and stupidity. It’s like they want to be seen as jokes. It was a huge mistake to allow them into the comp. They’re like an incompetent version of Peel Thunder. I think that “stinking up the city” is a fairly accurate description don’t you?
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I think the Eagles deserve the incompetent, plonker, stupid title…..and the want to play the biggest drop kick in AFL history Adam Dickhead Hunter
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Someone get me a shot of Woosha and I’ll put them up too.
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Ben Cousins on Ch 10 News = “Living In Perth during the last 18 months was like doing time in Prison”.
I’ll bet his WA Fan Club won’t be too happy with that little outburst.
to quote Sattler – “Good riddance To Bad Rubbish” :-)
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Fair call.
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“He’s connected with the pharmaceutical industry.”
He certainly appears to have some sudafed about his person and it is interesting that he is being careful to keep his prints off the glass.
“Unidentified theatre groupies.”
I do believe the unidentified theatre goers are actually on work experience with TWOP. Their duties consisted of keeping TLA topped up with booze and garlic prawns and following La Chong into the ladies to check on her brand of hair gel.
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a special ‘tosser of the day’ acknowledgement should be given to the reviewer in the West, who worked hard to wedge the word ‘hagiography’ into his review.
since the word has appeared in every review of the show, I suspect that it is in the press pack.
http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/theatre-dance/features/shane-warne-the-musical-1048567.html
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It was a great night, lovely to see you there L.A. I thought you may have been wearing your Paul Smith but the ted baker very nice. L.A what did you make of the audience. In general they are much more reserved than an eastern states audiences. There seemed to be a real “impress me” thing going on. Do you think that Perth is so culturally overloaded that nothing really turns them on anymore?
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Well, Rick Hart would have a certain wet blanket effect on any crowd no? What did I make of them? Apart from the celebrities I was thinking, “Look at them. Look at them all, the junkies and prostitutes…”
“Do you think that Perth is so culturally overloaded that nothing really turns them on anymore?”
Yes… Yes I do.
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It all looks too familyiar…. and speaking of the Dockers, doesn’t the shortlegged boyfriend look like a young Shane McManus ?
Did Ted know you were wearing his suit ?
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I think it was a combination of lens distortion and long jacket.
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nothing really turns them on?
what, not even a mini spring roll, the nonpareil of nibbles?
oh, how jaded we have become.
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Jaded? Bored?
Or, as I like to call it: The Barnett Effect.
It used to be called The Shave Effect, after Dashing Doug, but he’s gone.
Carps is gone… (or mostly snoozing), Armstrong’s gone from The West…
A ferris wheel on the Swan just isn’t going to cut it.
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Will those mobile speed bumps be called Barney Bumps? Mobile speed bumps? Jeezus. This sick city.
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may I suggest that they be called ‘sleeping premiers’ in honour of Barnett’s leadership style, and his ability to hide in plain sight.
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And why wasn’t Sattler there ? And were there any pollies of note ?
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The guy who used to be Deputy Dawg to She-Ra, then won Mt Lawley was there. Sutherland?
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Ahh, Michael Sutherland :-) Was Fred Botica there as Mix 94.5 are the radio sponsors – talk about crap, they went from bland MOR 6KY to even blander Adult iontemporary by Austerile.
And to think Gary Shannon started at 6KY as a Cart boy and was doing nights when KY were still Top 40, and overnight was forced to play Mantovani :-)
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Did he have an untucked shirt? If so I wouldn’t have noticed.
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May I suggest, further, that whatever these mobile speed bumps may be, that perhaps we apply some creative thinking to the problem and solve Perth’s Burial space crisis at the same time?
http://www.thewest.com.au/default.aspx?MenuID=77&ContentID=131659
If we don’t the Dullsville cemeteries will become full, overflow… and the Dead shall walk the Earth.
Which would be nice. Sir John Forrest would run for office again, Sir Charles Court could sort out Native Title, and we could probably talk Penny Easton into a cage match with someone.
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I wish i had connected these two myself. Yes, Edward De bono himself couldn’t have been more fucken lateral. They are mobile though, so might be hard to leave flowrers if the body suddenly moves to Scarbs.
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That’s no mini spring roll, skink. That’s a flipped bird.
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Cockster, where was Barra? He chicken out?
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Okay, enough of the Cockster please Mr Lezzy Arsey if you may.
Not sure what Barra was up to, probably removing graffiti in East Perth all evening.
I too agree that Perth is a cultural sponge that simply cannot absorb any more. For example, I was at the young lad’s cricket wind up last night and can report that the ‘pie night’ is a thing of the past.
Yes indeed, I was dining on grilled garlic prawns and thin crust pizza washed down with a very drinkable riesling. I noted Geoff Hutchison in the crowd enjoying a chilled Boags. Maybe Barra was somewhere in the mix?
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Cricket night? So the fruit & veg act used organic zucchinis?
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Yeah the Thunder in the Chunder square off was a no show. The person I now like to refer to as “Merry” doesn’t look too merry , with a stare that could kill a rabbit. Harvey merely trying to imitate Merries. Good to see the non entities referred as somebody , nobody , soapie backdrop , unidentified moving object , prostitute or drug dealer. Dixie , of course , gets in because of her connection with Mars.
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John Bellend in the Worst says that he “was surprised at the absolute lack of glamour in the audience.
I expected there would have been blokes in tuxedos and women dolled up in their flashiest frock but…it was a bogan crowd.”
clearly he missed your suit and Dixie’s shimmering potato sack.
http://blogs.thewest.com.au/sport/john-townsend-perfect-script-for-life-of-warne/
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Not a good review Skink , he didn’t mention hagiography. I think he did mention the music hall was about Shane Warne. As for Dixie she is from Mars after all.
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Well when your the daughter of Tennis Legend and former Liberal Pollie Arthur, what do you expect. :-)
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Yes, blokes with untucked fucking shirts! Not a tux in sight. It was an embarrassment an an outrage. Mark Harvey. Would a tie have killed you? You go to a gala opening looking like that? At least La Chong and Dixie made the effort, the rest looked like they were in line to the toilets at the footy. WAFL footy. Thongs wouldn’t have surprised me.
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The pics conspicuously do not show whether you are wearing cufflinks. We demand an answer.
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Why are you giving the pill hipster a pat on the back?
What is the piece of paper in Dixie’s hand?
Is the spring roll vegetarian?
Is the woman in front of La Chong throwing up?
The venue for this night of nights was…?
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The cufflinks were on.
Why are you giving the pill hipster a pat on the back?
I’m not. I have my hand on the rail.
What is the piece of paper in Dixie’s hand?
Her ticket
Is the spring roll vegetarian?
Yes
Is the woman in front of La Chong throwing up?
Don’t think so.
The venue for this night of nights was…?
The Regal in Subi.
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Oh yes!!! Every life should be a musical – unless you’re Madeleine McCann. Did they have that bit in the musical where Warnie was ‘out’ with lovely gals here in Perth? When are they doing a musical equivalent of the Marquis de Sade? Then I shall attend such a sadistic event.
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What happened to Warnie after he took that diuretic was bad.
But…
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Yes, La Chong would be the first to defend Warnie in any legal proceedings.
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Speaking of La Chong/Merry, perhaps what Perth is screaming out for is the stage version of her amazing life. The mind boggles when considering the possible titles for that play. And perhaps the lead could be played by the woman (assuming it was a woman) who won the La Chong lookalike contest (you know, the one Patti placed third in).
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Only along as Kenny Buzzin gets a part.
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I was born a Colin ‘Funky’ Miller man, and I’ll die …
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Check out that monobrow in the background of the first pic.
And look at those boaring eyes!
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An associate of La C I think. The starer.
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You look natty, TLA, but you could be trying harder.
Dame Edna has the Opera House glasses and the koala dresses…when are we going to see you in a palm tree print safari suit, or a caftan modelled on the Hyatt?
Sew them and they will come.
Also, wouldn’t “Our Nikki” have been the ideal person to accompany you to the SWTM opener?
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Another media personality who would have fitted in was ex Sunday Grimeser Lee Tate. I was on a junket with him a few years ago and he surprised me – he was a genuine hoot.
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Groucho – I reckon the shortlegged boyfriend looks more like a young Richard Neville of Oz Magazine fame.
LA – if you took a photo of Dixie with 2 other ladies then you could have titled it: Chicks with Dix. Please lift your game.
Rai Fazio for GG!
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He looks like someone familiar….might have been in my last life…but I just cannot put my finger on it.
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He alos looks a bit like Anthony Keidas[sp?] in some of his Red Hot Chilli Peppers band publicity shots.
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Maybe you saw him in this show: http://marlootheatre.com/gallery.html He’s in the front row. The girlfriend’s here too, a couple of photos down, wearing a costume made from a shower curtain and a tall shiny cylinder hat. (Not that I’m suggesting any worstness here…)
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And birdboot, you’re the third Cleopatra from the left right?
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birdboot….no but I think I know the girl with the dark black hair in the back row.
People who act together stay together
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they seem to have mixed up their New Kingdom and Ptolemaic eras
I guess that’s why they are amateurs
was it a musical?
did they do the sand dance?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HvuJmwQquyM&feature=related
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You obviously know them.
They will have beautiful children.
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They are beautiful children Big R – lets not get of ourselves here.
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ANOTHER WHISPER FROM THE WEST…
From: Bob Cronin
Sent: Tuesday, 24 March 2009 5:30 PM
To: West CCI
Subject: Staff changes
Rob Broadfield is moving to Page 2 which he will redesign and take in a new direction. He will also continue as Perth’s pre-eminent food reviewer.
Julie Hosking will become editor of West Weekend Magazine.
Neale Prior will become television editor.
Ben O’Shea will become editor of a new magazine to run in The West on Thursdays.
Simon Collins remains Perth’s pre-eminent music editor and will contribute to the new magazine, Today and the front of the paper.
These changes will be implemented progressively over the next two weeks.
R E Cronin
Group Editor-in-Chief
West Australian Newspapers Limited
50 Hasler Road, Osborne Park, WA 6017
bob.cronin@wanews.com.au
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Rhubarb, is this fair dinkum, or am I missing the joke here?
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I was just wondering that…
Neale Prior as television editor?
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no mention is made of Paul Murray continuing as Perth’s pre-eminent bullshit artist,
or Ben O’Shea’s sideburns continuing as Perth’s pre-eminent style guru
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pre-mnm ? Julie Hosking ,Neale Prior ,Ben O’Shea all pre-mnm gets you the quinella. Paul Murray most likely a scratching ( or minor irritation).
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Where’s Basil Zempalis.
Only in Perth could he be a celebrity.
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Good Question Dex where the hell is he?
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Subiaco : whore of babylon
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